The Legend of Sima Yi
by Xaldin007
Summary: The legend of Sima Yi in his battle against the forces of Orochi as Wei's strategist, leading down to a final confrontation with the Serpent King himself. Takes place mid-WO1.
1. Chapter 1 Sima Yi's Escape

**_*** Prologue ***_**

Rain poured down from above, harsh and unrelenting. It slide down the walls of a castle in the blank dead night. Not even the moons glare could reach past the darkness of the rain clouds. Standing in the middle of the rain looking on at the castle was a lone man. Lightning flashed as we attained a view of the man, clad in mostly purple outfit. His eyes showed a sharp mind as a lightning bolt reflected in it. The camera pans in closer to the man until only his eyes appear on screen. His name is Sima Yi. And this is his legend...

Lightning strikes once again as the rain vanished and the reflection in Sima Yi's eyes were now that of flames. Flames that ensnared a village currently being ransacked by blue skinned warriors, similar to humans but monstrous beings all the same.

Yi sighed and turned his back as his reptilian army continued. He walked down a path leading away from the flames and back to his camp. "Another worthless town I've been sent to destroy... How utterly dull." His expression and tone didn't at all hide his displeasure of the situation. He, a master strategist, forced to contend with mere peasants? It was a complete waste of his talents! And for what? Some demonic overlord he'd only met on a few occasions?

"Why so glum, Sima Yi?"

Yi stopped in his tracks. He recognized that high pitched voice from anywhere. He lazily turned his head to the side and spotted his target, layed out along a large tree limb on her stomach. "Da Ji."

The mystical fox smirked at the mention of her name, "I thought you'd enjoy some nice relaxing slaughter?"

"You know I do not." Yi crossed his arms and turned his body towards the Grand Strategist of the Orochi army. "My talents are far more deserving of such trifle affairs like stamping out weaklings."

"Come now, do you know how hard it is to put an attack together? It will take some time for-"

"Don't give me that," Yi snapped, causing Da Ji to pout at the interruption. "Between the four major forces engaged against the Orochi army you mean to tell me that there is no where I am better suited?"

"Humph." Da Ji repositioned herself and sat on the limb with her legs dangling off. "Yes, the four parts of the Resistance army, Lord Orochi's only remaining enemies that all banded together against him."

Yi rolled his eyes as he knew Da Ji was about to explain the current situation the land is in. She often found it necessary to make sure everyone around her understood what was going on by telling everyone what they already knew. She'd done it many times before battles. Yi always thought she did it because she simply enjoyed to hear herself speak. And he was mostly right.

"The first being the Sengoku force, led by a coalition of samurai warriors. The most notable being Nobunaga Oda that runs most of the show over there. The second is the Shu force that's run by Zhao Yun, then there's Wu led by Sun Ce. And finally..."

"Wei," Yi cut in, "My former home. Their leader is Cao Pi. Those four leaders form the Resistance. Neither force has been named the definitive leader of the others and they act mostly independently while occasionally preforming joint operations with one or more of the other leaders. However they still keep in touch with the other via letters and always inform the others of any battles or plans prior to their execution."

"That's right. Of course there are still a few other minor forces that stay out of the Resistance armies but they aren't anything to worry about."

"Well, while that was very informative for the viewers you still neglected to answer my question."

"Oh come now, shouldn't that explanation have told you? I have to be very careful directing our forces against them or they'll retaliate quite fiercely. And with the current situation-"

"So you're saying we're losing?"

"Ugh!" Da Ji twitched at that remark, "Of course not! You don't think I can handle them?"

Yi smirked at the state he forced his "superior" into. "I'm just not sure if your man enough for the job."

"You're one to talk, you're the one in a dress."

"This is not a dress!" It was a bit of a long running joke to call Sima Yi's outfit a dress. It started ever since Zhuge Liang sent him a dress in one of their previous battles and carried over even now in this new dimension. Just another reason to hate that arrogant prick. "Anyways, I'm just saying that things aren't looking well for us. If you don't take some help from your allies..."

"I don't _need_ any help. And I'll prove it too! Just wait and soon no one will oppose Lord Orochi!" With this Da Ji disappeared in a pretty display of pink light, leaving Yi back to his walk.

"Humph. Such a child." Yi put the aversion aside and continued his pace, unfolding his arms as he thought to himself. _"Forced to obey a meager sycophant, mindlessly slaughtering for a snake. I'm destined for much more than this. And staying here is only a matter of time until Orochi crumbles."__  
_  
Yi stopped and brought his gaze up to the moon, slowly raising his hand up to it. "Yes... I think my destiny, my legend is about to take off. My talents will shine as the very moon itself!" He gripped his hand into a fist and quickly swung it back to his side. He grinned as he walked onward to his destiny...

The camera then pans over to a set of purple colored lips that curved into a smile as the owner watch Yi.

"Well well, lets see just what kind of chaos you can cause, Sima Yi..."  
_  
__The man disappeared in a flash as the camera fades to black..._  
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**_**_*** End of Prologue ***_**

_***** Chapter 1 - Sima Yi's Escape *****_

The plan was in motion. He had had enough of Orochi and the mindless fools that follow him like some sort of messiah. And he could no longer see any way to further his own designs within the ranks of a snake. Da Ji and Orochi's army were attacking the coalition forces, Orochi was held up in his castle, and his forces were spread thin. The time was now. Now, on this night, he would leave Orochi for good and return to his home in Wei...

Sima Yi was checking himself to make sure he had everything prepared and his weapons in check. His fan, Dark Feather, holstered onto his waste, his pair of white gauntlets, the Eradication Claws, his ten wires hidden in his finger tips, and his chains that were concealed by his long sleeves. He looked up at the sky and examined to moon. He was trained to predict the weather for use in strategies so telling the time was a simple task for him. Everything was set. Lastly, he called his horse to his side, latched a lite lantern to his side, and mounted. He took a final look around the camp and moved to Masamune. He had to check with him before he could move.

Masamune was by the entrance, holding his helmet under his arm and eying his surroundings. The camp was surrounded by a deep forest so there wasn't much to watch but at least it kept him busy. "Hm?" Hearing the patting of a familiar four legged animal, he turned to see Sima Yi. "What's up, Sima Yi?"

"I'm heading out to scout the perimeter." Yi replied, "I have reason to suspect that an ambush may be in the wake."

"An ambush? No way! Da Ji's got all four enemy forces under her thumb. There's no way they'd be able to plant an ambush way out here."

Yi scoffed, "Come now, you really believe that imbecilic fox has all kingdoms occupied? The both of us together have trouble dealing with just one force."

"Hm... You've got a point. Alright, go on but take a few of my troops with you." Masamune whistled to a snake troop of high stature and signaled for him to round up a unit on Yi. "Watch yourself."

"Don't I always? Hiya!" Yi gave his horse a kick his horse and rode off as Masamune watched the small cavalier of snake men follow.

"Hm... Da Ji told me to keep an eye on Sima Yi recently... What is he thinking?"

**_*** Forest ***_**

Sima Yi and the warriors following him went through the trail from the encampment down to the forest below. It was a dark dank forest. Not even the graceful light of the moon could pass through the trees overhead. The only way they could really see was the lantern Yi had brought along. During the ride to the forest, the strategist would look around out through all, making it seem as though he were checking for an ambush. However, what he was actually doing was peeking out of the corner of his eye to see just how many troops were trailing behind him...

"Sima Yi!" The head horseman called out as they continued to ride, "We've gone deep into the forest! If we go much farther we may not be able to make it back!"

Yi slowly went to a stop and freed his right hand from the reigns, smirking. "...Who said we were going back?"

"Wha-what!"

Yi quickly jolts his steed around as the wires of his right hand meet with the horseman, killing him instantly. His men were too frightened to move, even as his wires retracted and his body fell. "Do it now!"

Suddenly, archers appeared from the blackness of the forest. They all fired at once as flame tipped arrows rained down upon Orochi's minions. Not a one survived the first wave of arrows. Sima Yi chuckled as he watch his ambush play out. The flames from the arrows were now already beginning to spread throughout the forest.

These were his men. They were loyal to him and they lined up in place of the horsemen instinctively. "You did well men. Once the forest is ablaze it will cover our backs for a time. But now we must return to Wei before Masamune catches on to us. Move out! Hiya!" He kicked off his horse again and his archers followed.

As he and his men raced through the forest Yi began to reminisce of his past, glancing at his gauntlets. He was amazed at how much he had changed over the time since Orochi came into the picture.

**_*** Flashback - Odawara Castle Grounds ***_**

"DODGE THIS!"

Zhang Liao spun his spear one handed as a powerful shockwave burst forth and headed straight for Yi, calmly reaching for his fan.

"Why dodge when you can block?" Yi morphed his fan into a black shield and guarded as the shockwave evaporated and only had the smallest of effect. He retaliated by sending out one of his chains with his free hand and latched it around Liao's spear. As Liao tried to tug it free Yi was able to drop his shield and shoot a purple laser beam at his foe, nailing him in his chest and sending him to the ground.

Yi smiled and called back his chain. "You okay?"

"Ha," Liao easily got to his feet and readied himself. "I think you're forgetting who your dealing with here. Ready for round two?"

"No, I think I've had enough for today." Yi used his chain to zip his fan back to his hands and put it to his waste once again. He smiled as he glared at his hands. Before he had to channel his energy through his fan to shoot one of his beams. Now he has trained his mind to allow him to do so without it and he can even change the very shape of his fan now. Of course, he had to have if magically enchanted in order for him to do so, but still. And his body was now on pare with the likes of Zhang Liao! He was very satisfied with himself. Yi casually looked to his side and fired another beam that almost hit someone but instead hit one of the castle walls.

"Oh, sorry about that. I'm afraid I simply didn't see you there, Zhuge Liang."

Liang's blank expression turned to Yi who simply stood there, smirking. "You know Sima Yi, sarcasm only lowers the disposition of others around you."

"Ha, and what do I care about anyone's disposition? If that bothered me then I wouldn't be working for Orochi."

"Hm. I should have expected you not to take my advice. One day you will understand why respect comes in handy." It was a simple statement but with it Liang took his leave and left Yi to tend with his own tasks.

Meanwhile Yi's smirk had faded to a scowl. It only took a few words with this man and he could find himself right at the boiling point. There was nothing he hated more than him. But seeing him served as a reminded to why he had trained himself so. He wanted to prove that he was the best or at least better then that elitist in every way! He adapted to front line combat and even learned a brand new fighting style with his claws as well as his chains. And with that arsenal together he couldn't find any situation he wouldn't be prepared for. He was certain that he IS the best! And he would prove with both intellect and might that he is the greatest!

"You know, I think I am in the mood for another round. Let's go, Zhang Liao!"

**_*** End Flashback ***_**

_"Hm. Right. That was when Wei was still aligned with Orochi. But I can't be distracted by any thing now. I must focus on my current objective."_

Yi and his troop moved quickly through the thick forest. He was sure he had plenty of time but he was not so foolish as to dally it away. And besides, he had already memorized this forest, exactly how long it would take to get out of it, and where he'd end up. He also knew that there was a small checkpoint just outside the forest. Once there he would shut the gates, buying him that much more time. Moments later he found the moonlights blissful glow, signaling he was out of the forest. What he saw below the moon however, was not very blissful.

"Date solders!" Yi cursed under his breathe as he skidded to a halt, placing a hand out so his troops did the same.

"Halt, Sima Yi!" A Date officer stood ahead his men and spoke, "We have received word to not allow you to pass!"

"What? Damn..." Yi mumbled to where only he could hear, "Masamune must have caught a whiff of what I was planning and sent a ninja troop ahead of me. Which means there's probably an ambush behind me if I try anything... Humph. No matter. I'll simply have to force my way through!"

Yi quickly swipes his wires ahead of him, cutting the officer down and taking out a couple of Date solders as well. He then dismounted his steed, just in time to see it shot dead. Musketeers. Two groups of them. On separate watch posts. Great. Yi then took hold of his fan and morphed it into a black shield before turning back to his archers.

"Archers! Stay out of range and watch out for a ninja troop!" Yi begins to block shells with his shield as they ricocheted into their own men. "Hold out until I defeat the musketeers!

Yi held his shield high in front of him, blocking every shot as he ran forward and past the downed Date troops. They would mostly just be filled with arrows moments later anyways. He readied his chain in his free hand. If he could time this right, he could eliminate both groups in one fell swoop!

Yi just barely peeked out of the side of his shield. The musketeers were circulating rounds. One group fired while the other reloaded. He had to do this while the one he was after was reloading... Now!

"Perfect!"

Yi wrapped his chain around the top of watch posts, and using the sheer momentum of the speed he collected to it, swung himself to the top. He then quickly slew the musketeers with his claws. But before the bodies could even fall, Yi dropped his shield and snatched two muskets from them. In one swift movement he aimed the muskets at the other nearby watch post and fired, killing both the musketeers atop it.

"Now that was good." Yi couldn't help but smirk at that move.

Sima Yi had just flawlessly climbed atop the watch post as the musketeers had finally finished reloading and, just before they had a chance to shoot, killed them. And then, using the now loaded guns, eliminated the remaining group. Oh, how he wished Zhuge Liang had just seen that.

After retrieving his fan, he jumped down from the post. "Alright men, let's move out before..." As Yi looked out at his men he saw that they were all laying in the dirt. "...That happens."

Well, this just keeps getting better and better. He at least thought his men could hold off a few messily ninjas! However, something was odd. No ninjas were in sight, nor Date corpses. Date ninjas weren't that good...

"Hm..?" Yi just barely heard the rustling of leaves as he immediately looked up, "Damn!" He quickly jumped back to avoid a chain similar to his own that slammed into the ground with great force. "What was that!"

As swiftly as he struck a slender ninja landed on the ground perfectly, gripping the chain back to him. Upon further inspection Yi noticed that it was the chain of a kusarigama, a Japanese weapon commonly used by ninjas. "My Master orders the death of all whom oppose him." The blue shinobi said plainly.

"Your master, eh?" Yi gazed at the warrior for a bit, trying to ascertain his identity. But he was a ninja so that would be difficult... "I know you not from within Orochi's ranks... You must be with the coalition! It seems my suspicions of an ambush were correct... Now heed me when I tell you you and I are on the same side."

"Deceit is for the weak." Apparently he didn't believe him as he readied his weapon.

"Ha... Fine. If you will not listen to reason then it appears you must end here. Prepare t-HOLY CRAP!"

As suddenly as he arrived, the ninja attacked with it's hand scythe! Lucky for Yi he had managed to morph his fan into a black sword and block the attack just in time. The ninja then disappeared in a dark blue blur only to reappear further off. Yi quickly sent one of his chains his way, only to have it knocked down by his own chain. With a snarl, Yi shot five strings out at the ninja this time.

"Foolish..." The ninja struck the ground with his fist as a small wall of flames appeared, engulfing the strings.

"Argh, what does it take to kill you?"

"..." He didn't even respond this time as he split into six copies of himself and formed a circle around Yi to ensnare him.

Well...that wasn't good. Neither was it when all six ninjas charged him! Sima Yi had to struggle immensely to block and dodge all of the attacks. He didn't even have time to morph his sword back into a shield due to the flurry of scythes, chains, and kicks! Yi, HAD to get this fool off of him!

Suddenly, Yi dropped his blade and released both his chains and did a full 360, swiping every single ninja away from him and then quickly zipping them back. But he didn't stop there. A purple light began to radiate off of his hands as he shot several purple beams of energy at every one of the ninja's duplicates, even shooting a couple of beams at random areas for good measure. And when the dust cleared from the attack, only Yi could be seen standing.

He was finally able to relax a bit. He panted as he began to speak, "Finally... I can get back to-Erk!" Yi's eyes snapped wide open as he felt the ninja's blade against his throat. He appeared out of nowhere, Yi didn't even have time to blink! This guy was fast...

"None can stop that which has no form."

"Tenacious little bastard, aren't you?" Yi grunted as the ninja pushed the blade closer.

Was this the end? Was this where the greatest mind in the Three Kingdoms were to meet his death! Yi could feel the blade about to grind through his skin, as he closed his eyes awaiting his fate...

**_SMACK!_**

...Was that is? Was he dead? No there should have been more of a slicing sound if he were. Yi slowly opened one of his eyes, and then the other to see a tall man, standing above the ninja currently on the ground.

"It seems the Heavens still favors my intellect."

"Heavens? Ha ha... What fools these mortals be." The man Yi recognized as his savior was an...odd looking one to say the least. He was at least seven feet tall, had purple skin with blue tattoos, red hair braided down to the small of his back, and by far the weirdest outfit he'd seen in a while.

"You call me the fool, but you're the one here to rescue me, are you not?"

"Humph. I suppose you are not too foolish then." Kotaro kept his eyes on Yi as they spoke, even as the ninja attack him. He simply raised one of his gauntlets and block the attack. "I am Fuma, the winds of chaos. Now let's see if your not too feeble." Kotaro blocked another attack in the same fashion.

"Please." Yi laughed just before blocking an attack with one of his hands, and countering with a slash to the torso, dispersing one of the ninja's clones. "I had everything under control even before you got here."

"Truly?" Two clones attacked him from his left and right only to blast them each with a dark ball of energy from his hands, not once taking his eyes off Yi. "And did your strategy happen to including the shadow slicing your throat?"

"Perhaps." Yi narrowed his eyes and turned on Kotaro, wrapping his chain around his neck. "Does yours involve your neck being snapped?"

"Heh heh heh..." Fuma grabbed the chain and crushed the metal with his bare hand. "How interesting." He then immediately went back to back with Yi as they were surrounded by the ninja's clones. "Ha ha ha..." He raised his fist as it shine a bright blue glow, "Come, Hanzo."

As those words left his mouth the six Hanzo dashed at the pair like lightning. Yi quickly sidestepped a chain one Hanzo threw and Kotaro grabbed it as it flue underneath his arm, swiftly jerking it forward, sending one of the Hanzo's with it, only to be met with Yi's claws as it dispersed. One down.

Kotaro was now dodging the attacks of three separate Hanzo's all vying for his head. He managed to avoid every single strike and was even able to block a few before he decided to round house kick one away from him, followed by grabbing the 2nd's skull and ramming it into the ground. But he didn't finish there. He then picked him up again and punched him through the gut, forcing him to disperse. Two down.

Sima Yi was now dealing with two Hanzo's, however two was a lot easier than six so he was able to evade every single attack with relative ease. He blocked one scythe with his glove and swiped his foot across the ground, tripping the Hanzo he had just blocked. With the other on the ground, Yi turned to deal with the next Hanzo just in time to catch the chain he had just thrown. He gripped the chain tight and then quickly jolted around, slinging the Hanzo at Kotaro, whom gladly finished him of with a powerful punch dispersing the third Hanzo.

Yi and Kotaro then looked at each other and grinned. In one swift movement Yi ducked as Kotaro jumped and his fist stretched over Yi, smacking down the Hanzo that had just leaped at him from behind. And while Kotaro was in the air Yi slung his chain under him, tripping and knocking over the other Hanzo attacking him. The two then turned around to their respective targets as Yi finished his with a beam and Kotaro finished his by slamming his elastic fist into his cut as a purple shockwave eradiated from the impact. And there went four and five.

The pair then turned to the other. Yi nodded in approval whereas Kotaro simply "Humph'ed". However, they both knew the battle wasn't over. The Fuma ninja then grabbed Hanzo right as he appeared beside him, holding him in the air by his throat.

"I am curious, Sima Yi." Kotaro grinned as Hanzo squirmed in his grip, "What do you say we do with him?"

"Ha. Kill him, what do I care?" Kotaro easily prepared to do so but halt as Yi raised a hand in protest. "Or...we could allow him to return to his master."

"Humph." The taller ninja dropped his smaller counterpart and crossed his arms, awaiting Yi's inevitable explanation as to why. He landed surprisingly well and got to his feet almost instantly.

Sima Yi paced around Hanzo as he spoke, "And he could give a message to his master. If this is the same Hanzo I know of then his master is Ieyasu, correct?"

"..."

He stopped his walking and took the silence as a yes. "Well then you can do me a favor and have him inform Cao Pi that I am returning to Wei. I'd rather not have to fight my way there again." He moved closer and made sure his eyes were locked to the ninja's. "Understand?"

"...Acknowledged."

"Good. Now be off."

The shadow did so and disappeared from sight in a mere flash.

"Hm... I suppose it is better to allow him to go. After all, life just wouldn't be the same without breaking a few of Hanzo's skinny bones every now and then." He chuckled.

"I am not one for such wanton slaughter. And so I ask you, why did you come to aid me, Fuma? From what I saw of you in your time with Orochi, you seem to appreciate such carnage. So why-"

"Do not confuse my intentions." He interrupted, "I simply wish to use you to forward chaos design and no more."

"Humph. I oppose to using rather than being used. But still, I must thank you."

"Ha." The demonic ninja turned and smiled down at Yi. "Thank pandemonium and nothing else." That smile remained even as he slowly faded away into the night.

Yi was now all alone as he picked up his fan and turned back along the road. "Now, my path to Wei is open." He raised his hand to the moon once again. "And with the grace of the moonlight to guide me I shall soon return home."

_Fade to black as Yi begins on his path to Wei..._  
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**_**_*** End of Chapter 1 ***_**_**  
**_  
_Introducing the latest segment in the Legend of Sima Yi, "Yuan Shao's Noble Guide to the Warriors!" The Noble Warriors Guide will appear at the end of every following chapter from here on out. The Noble Warriors Guide are to be funny shorts of various warriors with the one and only, Yuan Shao. Enjoy!_

**_*** NW Guide 1: The Nobelist of Legends ***_**

_The Noble Warriors Guide intro starts with Yuan Shao flying by the screen with rainbows shooting out of his ass and propelling him forward until the entire screen is covered in rainbows. Shao reappears and then slashes the rainbows with his sword until they disappear._

"I am a warrior. A noble, a warlord. My quest has been a long one. I have fought countless villains, struggled against various hell monsters, and even got to ride a moose. Yes, with the aid of my glorious army I have overcome many obstacles, tales have been written of my skills and will be for generations."

"You want to know my name? My name is..."

"YUAN-MOTHER****ING-SHAO!"

"Shaddup, prisoner!"

Yuan Shao could now be seen tied up in Wu Castle prison and had his face smacked in by one of the two snake generals guarding him. He rubbed his face from the wound since they forgot to tie up his hands.

"Oh, and I've been captured by Orochi and my army has been decimated. But at least I still have my helmet! It's gold! :D"

Suddenly screaming could be heard from down the hall, followed with the sound of swords clashing and death cries. Shao wonder what could be going on as he listened to the screams...

"SHU IS ATTACKING! WE'RE BEING DECIMATED!"

If only there was some clue as to what was going on... He looked on as one of his guards went to investigate. Now he only had one person guarding him...so naturally he got out his iPhone and dialed the number to his adviser, DeapThroat.

"Hello?"

"DeapThroat, I've been imprisoned by Orochi with only one guard that has his back turned to me. What do I do?"

"...SNAP HIS NECK LIKE A BADASS!"

Shao put up his cell and in one swift movement got to his feet and snapped the guards neck like a badass. He then immediately called back DeapThroat.

"K, now what?"

"Check his wallet."

Shao does so, flipping through his belongings. "3 Gold, a Helm of Disintegration, a map to Liu Bei's actual whereabouts, a pack of Stride gum-"

"Wait, wait, wait! Get the gum, that could be useful. Leave the rest."

Shao hangs up and throws the rest in a nearby trash can. As he did so he noticed the fighting stopped and footsteps came rushing at him! He turned his back so he could make a dramatic speech when they finally reached him. Right on cue, the Dragon of Chan Sha, Zhao Yun rushed into the prison!

"MY LORD!"

Shao stalled for even more dramaticness and quickly turned to allow the commoner to gaze at his marvelously noble visage. "I knew you would not leave me there! You have earned my praise, warriors! :D"

"...Ffffff-"

_The Noble Warriors Guide ending begins as Yuan Shao flies around a few times before crashing head first into the screen, shattering it upon impact_  
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**_**_*** End of NWG 1 ***_**  
  
Disclaimer: Well, here's my remake of Chapter 1! You guys tell me if you like this better or worse, or just don't give a damn please.


	2. Chapter 2 Sima Yi's Return

_****_**_*** Chapter 2 - Sima Yi's Return ***_**

And here he was. Xu Chang. Sima Yi's journey home was a perilous one, yet he managed to complete it. Yi looked around at the gates of Xu Chang, passing through them for the second time. Even in the blank midnight the city looked impressive. Thankfully, that ninja had done as asked and Yi was met with a guard captain and four of his men as a welcome.

The guard captain bowed as he began, "Master Sima Yi, it is good to see you return to the home of Wei. I am First Gate Guard Captain Fang."

"Indeed." Sima Yi was still looking around, still marveling at the massive castle and its amazing architect. "A pleasure to meet you Fang." He didn't give him a return bow. He rarely gives one to common troops, unless he's trying to show off to someone of higher stature around him.

"And you as well. Lord Cao Pi wishes an audience with you right away."

"And so he shall receive one." Yi finally brought Fang to his attention and meet eyes, "But before you escort me to him, I know but the bare minimum of Wei's current condition. Mind filling me in?"

"Um, very well..." The question caught him off guard but he explained nonetheless. "As of now, Wei is the strongest force aside from Orochi's. We have a great surplus of men and provisions. We have also gained many capable officers such as Guan Ping, son of the God of War and the Fledgling Phoenix Pang Tong and the ingenious strategist Mitsunari Ishida. And we are beginning to push back the forces of Da Ji rather effectively.

"Hm...I see... Anything else?"

In truth, Yi had already know every bit of that. He did his research before he came here. But it didn't hurt to double check now did it?

"Uh... Oh! Our alliance with Princess Tamako has proved most profitable."

"Tamako?"

"Why yes. You know, the 12-year-old Princess? The one rumored to have the greatest blacksmiths in all the land. We have offered to protect them from Orochi's forces in exchange for their blacksmiths to work on our weapons. Our blades are amazingly well crafted now."

"Yes, I knew off her. I simply didn't expect Wei to have an alliance with...her."

Though he'd never met her personally Yi had heard of Princess Tamako Hanayuuki. She's the only descended of Seishiro Hanayuuki, the leader of the Hanayuuki clan and he past away not long after Orochi formed this land. So she took over and has done well to keep her people going so far. "Done well" as in, they haven't all been brutally killed by Orochi yet.

However, he had heard that she was quite spoiled. But she couldn't be all that bad, he was sure. (lol chapter 8)

"Well..." Fang moved to Yi's ear and whispered "There have been rumors that she has a crush on General Cao Ren..."

"Ah, I see." Yi mentally laughed. Of course a crush would be all that was needed to get a little girls aid. "Well, I believe that's all I need to know for now. Take me to Cao Pi."

Fang nodded and ordered the men under him to stay put. Fang and Yi then made their way to the doors of Xu Chang, admiring the amazingly long hallways around them. Yi saw many soldiers run by on their way there, no doubt tending to their own duties, but he couldn't help but notice a few odd glances at him. Seems he wasn't entirely trusted here yet. Well, not like he can blame them. All the times he gave speeches to himself of taking over Wei, he was actually surprised they didn't behead him on the spot. But with the Orochi threat they know their going to need all the help they can get.

But even with the glares it felt...nice to be walking in Xu Chang again.

"Lord Cao Pi is just through these doors." Fang halted and motioned to a pair of large doors, snapping Yi out of his nostalgia trip as he pushed the right one open. "Lord Cao Pi! Here is Lord Sima Yi, at your request."

As Fang stepped into the room, Yi did the same as he saw for the first time in a long time the particularly large throne room of Xu Chang. In it was the fanciest of designs and, of course, a big throne for the lord to sit upon. Beside that was a stand for his weapon(s).

Sitting in that throne was Cao Pi, ruler of Wei. He was leaned back as if bored but he suddenly perked up and even slide a smile as he caught sight of his guests. "Ah, Sima Yi. It's been a while. Fang, close the doors."

"Yes..." Sima Yi returned the grin as well as granting him a bow as Fang did as ordered, "Too long, my lord." He unintentionally made the 'lord' part sound a bit sarcastic.

Cao Pi chuckled, "You don't sound too pleased calling me lord again though. So, Yi..." The warlord the stood up, reaching for one of his dual swords, and walked to Yi. "Why are you here?"

"I've come to rejoin my old home. Serving that snake serves me no profit but slaying it however would. And besides, I must admit I've missed some of the faces here."

"..."

Yeah, Yi didn't even try to make that last part sound truthful.

"...Okay, so it's no secret I pretty much hate all of you. But rejoining Wei would serve my purposes well."

"Oh?" Cao Pi quickly brought his blade to Yi's neck, so fast that it actually caused Fang to flinch. "And just why exactly should I welcome you back? You left Wei on your own accords, becoming a mere slave to power! You even stayed behind as your former "friends" broke off from that serpent and battled against us!"

Yi closed his eyes and calmly spoke, "It's true, given the circumstances and the extent of my betrayal you'd have been more likely to loop of my head..." Yi's eyes crept open as a smirk did the same. "But then again, if you weren't going to have me back you'd have never let me step foot in Xu Chang, correct?"

Cao Pi stayed his stance, showing a snarl at Yi...only to break into a laugh, lowering his blade "Ha ha ha ha! I see none of your wit has left while you were away. Very well. Sima Yi, I hereby reinstate your original status in Wei as Grand Strategist. Fang!"

Fang straighten at attention. "My lord!"

"You will now serve as Sima Yi's personal assistant. You will do anything he orders you to do. I shall have someone else stationed at the gate in your place."

The 'former' captain blinked for an instant, wondering if this was a promotion or not. "Y-Yes, my lord!"

"Good." Pi returned to his seat and holstered the blade, "Now Yi, you remember your original quarters? Well they are still vacant. Everything you left should still be there. Go, rest up. I heard that your journey home was a harsh one so you'll need it."

Yi bowed in response, "Thank you, lord Cao Pi."

"Oh, don't thank me. I just want you in top form for our battle with Da Ji tomorrow. I'll need your mind and your body in top condition."

"But of course." Yi's smirk remained as he turned to his new assistant. "Come, Fang. Show me to my room."

Fang nodded and opened the door and the two exited the room, reclosing the door as they left. Once he was sure they were out of ear shot Cao Pi's friend, Mitsunari Ishida, appeared from hidden behind the throne.

"That's mighty generous of you, Cao Pi. Giving him such a high rank, pretty much handing him Wei on a silver platter." He patted his fan against his palm as he continued, "Are you sure this is wise? Can we really trust him?"

"I know Sima Yi and he works best when he has power. We can trust him until this war has ended. After that, I'm sure he will make his move on me. But until then he should prove a most valuable tool." Pi turned his head at Ishida, "But don't worry, I won't let him forget that you still out rank him."

"Now that's what I like to hear."  
_**  
**_**_*** Hallway - Sima Yi and Fang ***_**

Fang and Sima Yi were making their way down the hallways of the massive castle, and he still saw the same glares and stares as before. He wasn't very surprised at Cao Pi's gracious acceptance. After all, one as talented as he deserves such stature. It was good to know Cao Pi recognized this. He wondered if Cao Cao would do the same if he were here today...

Honestly though, he was too exhausted to wonder about that now. He had planned on simply going back to his old room, laying down, and going to bed.

**"MASTER SIMA YIIIIIIIII!"**

But that all went to hell when he saw Zhang He.

"Zh-Zhang He!" Yi's voice was filled with terrified horror. His eyes wide with shock. And in the back of his mind he was praying there was a nearby window he could jump out of. But before he could he was tackled to the ground by a purple blur. Butterflies radiated from thin air upon impact.

"SIMA YI," The 'star general' Zhang He shouted in joy as he hugged Sima Yi's waist, almost crushing his insides. "I MISSED YOU! :'D"

"AAHHH!" Yi struggled to pry He as far away from him as possible but to no avail. "Get it off, get it off me! Fang, help!"

Fang reacted instantly and tried his best to pull one of his arms of his superior. "Lord Zhang He!" Unfortunately it was about as effective as the previous attempt. "Control yourself!"

"Get 'em off! Jesus, he's like one of those face-huggers from the Alien movies!"

"SIMA YI, OH WE MUST DANCE TOGETHER!"

"Bite me!"

**_CHOMP!_**

"OW! ****, I wasn't serious!" Yi reached for his fan and started hitting He's forehead with the bottom of the handle. "Get the hell off!"

AHEM!

All three men instantly glared at a man in blue robes, shouting "WHAT!"

Camera pans up from legs to head to reveal Guo Jia, Sima Yi's friend and ally.

"Zhang He," The man had a calm, soothing voice that was easy to the ears. A bit like Zhuge Liang, actually. "Zhongda won't be able to dance with you if your squeezing cuts off the circulation to the lower half of his body. Perhaps you should let him go?"

Ah, right. Yi had forgotten that Jia often referred to him with his other name. Normally, Yi would simply blast anyone calling him that. But he rather liked Jia, more than most of the people in Wei. He was another intellectually, and one he could relate to. They never had much interaction before as they only met once when Cao Cao was ruling. But after Orochi created this world, they fought together quite often. If there was anything he had to thank Orochi for, it would be for his time with Jia.

Zhang He stood straight up in a classic over the top anime style gasp, complete with an unexplained background change to match He's shock. "You're right! I'm so sorry Master Sima Yi!"

"You damned well should be you flaming imbecile!" The background was shattered like glass back to its original state as Yi fired a beam that sent He halfway down the hallway. During the fly he was turned upside down and as he landed his face skidded across the floor until he stopped, his body hitting the floor afterwords. Ouch.

Fang took a step away from Yi, who was still reeling with anger, and turned to Jia. He bowed in appreciation. "Um, thank you for your assistance Lord Guo Jia."

"Think nothing of it, soldier. If we let him Zhang He would have literally hugged Zhongda to death."

"Hm?" Yi turned as well and instantly cooled off, "Oh, Jia. That was you. My apologies, I was a bit too enraged to notice you. But as Fang said, thanks for getting that fool off me."

"My pleasure. I am simply glad to see you return to Wei. You seem tired. From what I've been told the way here was quite dangerous. You must be exhausted. Your room is further down the hall, on the left. Sleep, we will catch up tomorrow."

"Yes, thank you. And goodnight, Jia."

"Rest well."

The three bowed to the other as they each continued along their way.

Actually, Sima Yi didn't seem tired at all. In fact he looked rather lively. But Guo Jia always had a nack for seeing people beyond their exterior coatings. It was an impressive ability but it always annoyed him that Yi wasn't able to fool him.

Once getting over the nostalgic reminiscence, Yi and his assistant followed Jia's instructions and proceeded down the hall, making sure not to step on the now unconscious Zhang He along the way.

"Here we are." Fang opened the door and allowed for Yi to gander inside.

"It's...surprisingly clean." Yi said, peering across the room. "My bed and furnishings seemed to have remained untouched."

"Yes, we fixed it up for your return."

"I see... Then you have my thanks. Now, remained stationed at the door. No one is to disturb me. I need time to rest."

"Understood!"

Sima Yi nodded in approval and headed inside the room, locking the door afterwords. He let out a quick sigh in relief. He managed to take a few steps to his bed before he collapsed on top of it. He then shut his eyes and allowed darkness to overtake his sight. For tomorrow he would finally begin his campaign against the Serpent King... He smiled at the thought.  
_  
__Fade to black as Yi rests upon his bed..._

**_*** End of Chapter 2 ***_**_****_

**_*** NW Guide 2: The Nobility Knows No Bounds! ***_**_**  
**_  
_The Noble Warriors Guide intro starts with Yuan Shao flying by the screen with rainbows shooting out of his ass and propelling him forward until the entire screen is covered in rainbows. Zhao Yun then appears and throws Liu Chan at the rainbows, shattering them.___

_We now return to the scene where Zhao Yun "rescued" Yuan Shao..._

"-."

"Wow, can't believe that lasted for a whole chapter."

Zhao Yun buried his face in his palm. But then he raised his head as if to speak! And then just faceplam'd again. He really didn't know where to begin.

"It's quite alright, mah boi. People often can't find words when graced by the magnanimity of the glorious Yuan Shao!"

"But-You-Where is my lord Liu Bei?"

"I dunno. Probably dead. Now, take me to your leader so I may show him my face."

"I am the leader of this army."

"Really? Where's your hat?"

"...My what?"

"How can you lead without a hat? You must have a hat to lead! Me, Cao Cao, Dong Zhuo, even Meng Huo has a hat!"

"Well I don-"

Before Yun could continue Shao reached for a stool and placed it on his head. Naturally Zhao Yun was not pleased.

"That will have to suffice for now. Now, take me to your camp! I want some McDonalds."

**_*** Shu Camp ***_**

We now fade in to see Yukimura awaiting his friend, rushing to the camp entrance to meet him.

"Lord Zhao Yun! I'm glad that your...why do you have a bucket on your head?"

Yun sighed, his voice echoing from the metal. "First it was a stool. I took that off on the way here and he put something else on my head. I took that off and he put something else on. Now I have a bucket on my head."

"Uh...huh..." Yukimura blinked for a while and turned to Shao. "Um, so you must be Lord Liu Bei! It's great to finally meet-"

Yukimura was immediately pimp slapped by Shao.

"Bitch, do NOT confuse me with that peasant Liu Bei!"

"Wha-What the hell! Who are you then!"  
_  
__"Who am I?"_

As Shao grinned a sparkle appeared in his teeth and the background suddenly changed to pitch black with a spotlight on Yuan Shao. The camera spun around Shao as he spoke.

**_"I am the glorious, the almighty, the , YUAN-"_** The spinning then stopped as Shao waved his sword around and the background changed to a gold and yellow blend with the Yuan flag waving behind, **_"MOTHER****ING-SHAO!"_** Shao jammed his sword into the ground and took a dramatic pose to add dramaticness.

"...GODDAMMIT, I STABBED MY ****ING FOOT!"

Yukimura, now, he had no idea how to respond to this. Even as Shao rolled on the ground clutching his bloody foot. Zhao Yun, well, he was too busy bucketpalming himself to pay attention anyways. Yukimura turned to Yun.

"So, this is Yuan Shao..?"

"Yes... He's...I'm not sure what to call him. I fear that we will never find my lord Liu Bei..."

"Liu Bei?" Shao immediately got to his feet, somehow completely fine. "Oh, he's in Guan Du."

Yun lifted up his bucket to show his happy face expression. "You're sure! Then we must leave immediately! Yukimura, ready the men!"

"Yes sir!"

Yukimura ran to gather the troops as Zhao Yun went to prepare other things. Or, tried to. He ended up running into a tent about halfway.

"Yes, I'm sure he's in Guan Du. Almost a hundred percent positive. Probably definitely there. I'm hungry."

_Fade to black as Shao chews on a piece of gum...___

_The Noble Warriors Guide ending begins as Yuan Shao flies around with a bucket on his head a few times before crashing head first into the screen, shattering it upon impact__  
_  
**_*** End of NWG 2 ***_**

Disclaimer: Mm'kay, Chapter 2 Remake complete! But this chapter kinda sucks. Really it's just a filler chapter that shows how Yi got back into Wei. Chapter 3 is where the fun starts!


	3. Chapter 3 Battle Against Time

_***** Chapter 3 - Battle Against Time *****_

BANG!  
BANG!  
BANG!

"Lord Sima Yi! You must get up! I let you sleep as long as I could but the preparations for battle are about to begin!"

Sima Yi's eyes shot open as he recognized the voice of his newly appointed assistant, Fang. Not but two seconds after Fang's words he opened the door to greet him. "Let's go then."

Fang blinked twice as his superior walked past him. "Wow, he got up rather quickly." He was a bit surprised. Yi must not have even changed cloths last night.

"You coming?"

"Y-yes, my lord!"

***** Strategy Room *****

Yi and Fang reached their destination and opened the door inside to a large room. "Hm... Many new faces here."

Yi peered around the room, making note of the new additions. Firstly, there was the Shu officers; Guan Ping and Pang Tong. Next he saw a small woman in some rather revealing clothing, particularly around her outer thighs. Didn't know who she was surprisingly. He also saw the Wu veteran Huang Gai and several Wei originals were there as well. The Xiahou brothers, Cao Ren, the two Zhangs, Xu Zhu, Xu Huang, and Guo Jia. And there was of course Cao Pi and Zhen Ji right beside him. And let's not forget his new BFF Mitsunari Ishida. Oh, and Fang of course whom had taken his place at the exit like a good little guard.

The room had entered a silence upon their entry as all eyes turned to Yi. He certainly didn't feel to welcomed and judging from some of the shady faces, he wasn't.

"Well," Mitsunari spoke first, "now that our favorite egotist is here maybe we can actually do something progressive."

"Hmph." Yi barely responded as he took a place within the room, sitting in a chain next to Guo Jia. He assumed Jia had left open for him.

"Yes, well..." Cao Pi began as he moved beside Mitsunari, "As you all know we face the fox, Da Ji in this battle. We've been fighting her for a good while now and we are beginning to gain some ground. Da Ji's forces have now begun falling back into the mountains. However, when she gets there she will find the mountains too treacherous to climb. She will be trapped."

Mitsunari pulled down a map that was rolled up on the wall, showing a birds eye view of their battlefield, and point when necessary. "Now as you can see the path to the mountains is a narrow one-way trail with high cliff walls. And the walls are so high there's simply no way that Da Ji could have an ambush prepared above them so we've no need to worry of a fleet of arrows raining down on us. This battle will be a simple straightforward run. Soon we'll have her pinned in here, at the end of the trail at a wide open range atop a plateau and then she'll be ripe for capture as she finds there's no other way to go from there." Finally finished he turned to the crowd of officers. "Any questions?"

One man in the back raised his gloved hand immediately.

"...Yes, Sima Yi?"

"Are you an idiot?"

"What was that!"

Yi smirked at Ishida's angered remark before explaining, "You honestly think this fight would be that easy? Have you not put into consideration that Da Ji has more forces hidden at the top of the mountain? That she doesn't have traps littered along the trail? And also the fact that Da Ji already knows that path leads to a dead end? A child could have put such thoughts together!"

"Why you little..! How would you know-"

Mitsunari's rant was cut off as Cao Pi placed an arm in front of him. "Calm yourself, Mitsunari. Sima Yi knows this because of his time with Orochi." Seeing as his friend backed off he lowered his hand, turning to Yi. "Though he presented this information rather arrogantly, he's right."

"Humph. Well then oh great Sima Yi, anything else you'd like to share with us?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. Unless we catch up with Da Ji before sun fall we're all going to die in an instant."

The tension quickly heightened in the room as a brief silence took over, along with a few surprised and fearful faces until Mitsunari ended it. "And I'm guessing you know how she plans to do that?"

"Indeed." Yi continued as he moved to the map and pointed to the dead end, a large area that seemed to be made for a final stand. "The Soul Cannon, placed on the highest part of the mountain possible, here. It's an otherworldly device created and filled with the souls of those whose lives have been lost in combat. That cannon has been building up power since the beginning of time. If it fires, well, imagine a couple thousand-no-a million Lu Bu's verses a kitten."

Zhang He immediately stood, gasping and clutching his chest in surprise. "Poor kitty! D:" Yi immediately blasted him with a laser.

"Lord Sima Yi," The famous general Cao Ren questioned, "are you quite certain Da Ji has the cannon? From my time under Orochi I had heard of such a weapon before but...to think Da Ji has been able to harness it..."

"Oh, trust me, she has it. I had to help her transport the monstrosity before. Oh, and I should tell you, it's taller than this castle."

"But that's impossible!" Huang Gai, a face Yi was not used to spoke up next, "There's simply no way Da Ji could have moved such a thing to the mountains without our knowing!"

"She's using magic to cloak it."

Huang Gai paused as a classic sweatdrop slowly slid down his face. "Oh, well then there is a way."

"Yes... Now, I believe we should discuss how our force is to advance upon the mountain top. Any suggestions?"

"Yes, I believe I have a few." Guo Jia said, "Imagine if you were in Da Ji's shoes...er, tights."

...That particular analogy left just about everyone in the room not named Zhang He with a horrible mental image.

"Um, Jia, maybe skip the analogy..."

"...Yes, I believe that would be best for everyone. I suspect Da Ji will be using a rock slide against us in this battle. Just think, an entire force all lined up on a narrow path with boulders crashing down on them. The results would be disastrous."

Most everyone in the room nodded in agreement as Pang Tong had his own thought. "Guo Jia has a point... Huang Gai, would your bombs be able to stop some rather large boulders?"

"Yes," He nodded, "my men and I could whip up some extra powerful explosives for a surprise rock slide."

Mitsunari motioned to Gai, "Then get to it. If what Sima Yi says is true then we can't afford to waste anymore time."

"You got it! They'll be ready in a jippy!" Gai quickly got up and exited the room.

Xiahou Yuan turned to his brother asking, "...Who says "jippy" anymore?" To which Dun simply shrugged.

"Good, that solves one problem..." Yi spoke, taking over again, "Now, archers. They would also be perfect against a down hill enemy. Cao Ren, I want you to round up an armor troop for the battle. We'll have them ready to move to the front in a hurry if we happen to see a fleet of arrows about to riddle us with holes."

"Understood. I'll station them outside of the castle when we're ready."

"While you're at it make sure the men are equipped with spear units." Mitsunari added, "A cavalier charge is always a possibility and I wouldn't like to end up on the end of spear."

Ren nodded and exited accordingly.

"Alright, I think we've covered just about every plan that one of Da Ji's level could think of." Sima Yi said, subconsciously double checking the plans as he spoke. "However, some of you will have to be left behind for this battle. If the armies too large we won't be able to reach her quick enough. And we'll have to choose some capable men to handle the rear guard in case the fox has more forces hidden."

Pang Tong raised his hand, hoping for an easy job. "Hm...I dare say I wouldn't mind taking on the rear guard."

Mitsunari nodded with approval. "Good. You're reliable. I won't have to remind you that the rear guard is a forces life line. But then again, so is our home. I shall remain behind to take care of Xu Chang with Cao Pi."

"Excellent. However, you two and Pang Tong should have some more officers to cover you. Any takers?" Yi asked, scanning the room for takers as Xu Zhu slowly raised his hand.

"Um...me and Xu Huang could stay at the castle and guard the food."

Mitsunari scoffed. "Sure, just as long as you don't guard it in your stomach."

"And that's while I'll be here too." Huang said, "I won't let him eat up all of our provisions." Mitsunari nodded and brought his attention away as Xu Huang whispered to Xu Zhu, "I'll sneak you a pork bun." Naturally the man-child quietly giggled in anticipation.

"Brother Yuan and I will gladly take the rear guard." Dun volunteered.

"Very well." Yi nodded, "Huang Gai and Cao Ren will take to the front with myself-"

Mitsunari turned and snarled at Yi, "Wait, what? You think we're really going to let you have the advance force in the palm of your hand?"

"Well...yes."

"Has it not occurred to you that you're still not trusted here? We're not going to let you lead such an important task. Guo Jia should be the one in charge."

"I must agree with Mitsunari on this one, Yi." Cao Pi added, "While I know you would preform well Sima Yi I believe Guo Jia would be a better choice of command for you now. At least until the men, and Mitsunari, come to trust you."

"Humph. Fine. Jia, you take control of this battle. My skills are far too great for a mere fox anyways." Whether that was a stab at Mitsunari or Da Ji remained to be seen.

"Very well," Jia smiled and turned to Yi, "Then as commander, I hereby give control of this battle to Zhongda."

Mitsunari of course wasn't to please with that. "What! You can't do that!"

"On the contrary, I can. Lord Ishida, can you not see? If we do not allow Lord Sima Yi the chance to prove himself no one in our ranks will ever come to trust in him or in his abilities in battle."

"...Ugh... ...I don't like it but I can't argue with that. Alright, Sima. You take the front."

Yi returned the smile to Jia, "Thank you...Fengxiao." Fengxiao is Guo Jia's other name, though Yi hardly uses it. Unlike our anti-hero, Jia is not as picky about this name and will allow just about anyone to refer to him as so.

"My pleasure. Now I believe we should have a few more officers to aid in the front. Lord Zhang Liao and Lord Zhang He would be prime choices for this battle. With those two you should be able to clear out Da Ji in no time."

"I believe you are forgetting yourself Jia. Modest as you may appear you know as well as I do you'd be an invaluable asset against such tactics."

"Ha ha ha, very well. I shall also accompany you in the chase for Da Ji."

"Take Lady Nene as well." Mitsunari added, "She and her speed will come in handy for a swift attack."

Nene immediately hopped up and grinned at the mention of her name, "And if all of you die horribly I can run back and tell the others before they get torn limb from limb. :D"

There was a short silence.

Sima Yi decided to be the one to break it, "...I like her. Very well, Nene will come along as well. Now if there's nothing else, let's be going. Every second we waste is a second further away Da Ji is."

"Um...sirs?" Guan Ping pointed to himself, being the only one not given an assignment and feeling quite singled out. "What about me?"

"Yes, what about you?"

"What should I do?"

"Simple. Get a sharp or blunt object and hit the snake people with it. I figured your father would have already went over this with you."

"Alright, so I should follow you and aid in the front."

Yi scoffed in obvious sarcasm, "While I'm sure a kid like you is a mighty and unmatched warrior, we have enough cannonfodder on the front as is. Too many and it could serve to slow us down."

"Hey!" Ping roared, stepping up to Yi, "I'm not cannonfodder! And I am a mighty warrior! I am the son of Guan Yu!"

"I'm sure. And feel free to continue living in your father's shadow. Just do it in the corner so you don't get in the way."

"Y-you little smart-alick!"

"Something wrong with being smart?"

"Sima Yi!" Cao Pi's stern voice cut in, "That's quite enough. Just take the boy. He's served with the Demon King before so at least you know he can swing a sword. We can't waste any more time on this."

"Humph. Fine then, he can tag along. Be sure to thank Cao Pi when he tucks you in tonight, boy."

And on that unsettling argument the group of warriors all exited the room, all of which going about their respective duties before the battle started.

***** Path to the Mountains - Main Force *****

The Wei main force was now at the base of the mountain pass, ready to chase after Da Ji. All the important figures were placed atop horses but there weren't enough for the common soldier so they had to reside on foot. Cao Ren's armored unit was at the head of the pack with Huang Gai's bomb troop behind them. The rest behind them were common soldiers. In front of this massive army, from left to right, were Zhang Liao, Zhang He, Huang Gai, Guo Jia, Sima Yi, Cao Ren, Nene, and Guan Ping. These eight warriors would be the spearhead of the attack. Fang was also with the troop, but unlike the common men he was directly behind the officers. He was instructed to guard Sima Yi for this battle and that he would do.

"Zhongda..." Guo Jia tapped his invisible watch at Yi.

"Don't worry, I haven't forgotten." Yi began as he raised his fan, "Now men, today is the day we bleed that fox Da Ji dry! Charge!"

Yi aimed his fan forward as he finished his statement and charged up the mountain full speed, his officers and troops following with a cheer. The line of men was long and almost reached the canyon walls but there was still just enough room so that it wasn't shoulder to shoulder. Despite the uphill terrain against them the Wei troops were moving at good speed. It wasn't long until they finally began to see Da Ji in the distance. They were surprised to see her simply waiting on them, however Sima Yi nor none of the other officers even glanced. They were expecting this.

"He he he, right on time." Da Ji giggled as she stared down at her pursuers, "Now how about...wait a minute, is that Sima Yi with them! Agh, that traitor!" She snapped her fingers as she began to walk away. "I knew he was about to betray us one day... He better get skewered."

Yi's eye's widened as his horse bucked up, almost throwing him clear off, "Get down!"

When Da Ji snapped her fingers neither archers nor boulders appeared. But arbelisk. They appeared out of nowhere by course of some sort of magical transportation or cloaking. Arbelisk, for those of you that don't know, where wooden machines that fired ten arrows in a row at once at an angle in a continues never ending pattern. There were three of them and they had already begun firing rounds! Yi's horse made the mistake of jumping up and letting out a neigh at the wrong time as it's stomach was riddled with arrows, along with all the other horses beside him.

All of the Wei officers were falling off their now dead steeds left and right. Fortunately, it was the horses that were the only thing that saved them from taking their place. Taking advantage of common sense the officers all rushed behind their men before another round could connect as Cao Ren's armored troop moved in front, with Ren at the head.

"Men, keep your shields in front of you and advance slowly against the arbelisk! Let's go!"

"General Cao Ren is doing well leading his men." Zhang Liao noted as Ren's unit pressed forward, "Sima Yi, should we not follow behind them to keep from harm?"

"No. Good thing about arbelisk is that they can only fire in straight directions, unlike we humans. All we have to do is keep our heads down and wait for the sound of breaking wood."

The arrows were nothing against these elite warriors. Cao Ren and his troop were all in a perfect line, completely preventing the arrows from coming through to their allies. Ren was right in the middle as he and his men took single small steps right after the first, slowly progressing to the wooden contraptions until they were within range.

"Break off!"

Cao Ren then struck forth with his buckler blade, effectively crushing the middle arbelisk with one fierce strike. Upon his order the others in the line then broke free from their shields and began hacking at the remaining two arbelisk, quickly destroying them both. Ren and his troop turned to the remaining allied units and raised their weapons in a cheer.

Sima Yi smirked as got to his feet, dusting himself off. "Just as I planned. Now resume the march!"

***** Mountain Base - Da Ji *****

The fox, Da Ji, panted as she rushed past two stone gate doors, "Close the gates!"

Further up the mountain resided a DW style base constructed of stone, though much larger than your typical base. The base was filled with several of Orochi's troops and a couple of his officers as well. Da Ji had just passed though as she was running, the Wei forces not far behind her. She rushed up to a platform resembling a dueling ring to a sturdy looking man in samurai styled cloths.

"Damn... Those arbelisk should have been able to hold them off a lot longer than that. Stupid Zhuge Liang and his defective contraptions..."

"It wasn't Zhuge Liang's failing that caused the arbelisk to fall," The man said, a hint of dislike in his tone, "but the unforeseen opponent against them."

"What, Sima Yi? Sure he talks big but he's not that great. But then again, maybe your right... If so I need to hurry before-"

_**BOOM!**_

"...****."

The doors that Da Ji had ordered closed had now just been blasted open with a set from Huang Gai's explosives team. The blast also managed to kill several troops stationed near the gate. Many snake troops were rushing to the now destroyed gate to guard it. Unfortunately for them, the smoke the bombs created left them sightless.

"Where is the enemy? They're not coming through the-URK!"

The peons words were halted as his body was penetrated with several white wires. His allies simply stared in shocks as the strings retracted and his body falling to the earth. His allies were soon to join him as a chain swept across them, taking down an entire row of them. The smoke then cleared as the chain retracted to it's owner, Sima Yi, as he stepped out of the dust.

"No mercy for the weak. Take them!"

Yi crossed his arms and smirked arrogantly as the Wei troops stormed in, cutting down the frightened Orochi troops like shooting fish in a barrel. Yi himself soon followed to join the fray, hacking and slashing through everything that wasn't human.

The man stepped past Da Ji, "You should be going. They won't be able to hold this position for long."

"So true. As for you, you're staying here like you promised right?"

"Yes."

"Good, now remember..." Da Ji moved in and whispered in his ear, "Sima Yi was the one who ordered you home erased. Ta-ta for now!" She giggled a little as she skipped away.

"..."

The Wei troops were swarming over the enemy, easily over taking them with such fierce warriors fighting together.

Guo Jia casually pimp slapped a soldier with his shield, "I never would have expected a base such as this so far up the mountain." He quickly cut down another two men.

"Indeed." Ren agreed as he blocked a spear coming down on him, "It appears we have underestimated Da Ji this day."

"Ha!" Huang Gai smirked as he uppercutted one, "Nothing worth worrying about!" He chucked several bombs out at the enemies.

Though some were less effective than others...

"Ugly snake people!" Zhang He shook his head in disgust just before erupting into an epic dance complete with butterflies and his own special theme, "Behold ZHANG HE'S SUPER PRETTY BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS HYPER AWESOME SEXY BUTTERFLY PANDA BOOTY SHAKIN' FIRE-

"Goddammit, just stab something already!" Liao growled as he popped an enemy with his spear.

And some were downright scary...

Such as Nene mutilating warriors left and right, "ALL OF YOU SHALL RECEIVE TEH PUNISHMENT! :D"

Guan Ping was scared for his life and yet unable to turn his eyes away from Nene's bloody, bloody, carnage.

Sima Yi on the other hand wasn't lifting a finger to help in the battle. He was simply walking right across the center of it, Fang right behind him and guarding Yi with his life.

"Ha ha ha ha ha! Everything is going splendidly. I admit this garrison comes as a surprise but it's nothing my brilliance couldn't handle."

Sima Yi was absolutely intoxicated with his own mind at the moment. However he finally decided to step back into reality as he took a few steps onto a platform to find a single, normal, man waiting in front of the exit with weapons at the ready. Seems he intended on making a last stand for his lady. Yi would make sure to make this one suffer.

Without a word Yi shot out a chain at the warrior. Surprisingly, the warrior knocked it down with one of his two katanas.

"Hm...maybe I can make some sport of this one. Try this!"

This time Yi sent forth a beam of energy at the man. However, this seemed even less effective than the first attack as he unsheathed his second sword and used it to cut the beam in half! And to make matters worse the sword he used caused a shockwave to zoom toward Sima Yi! He barely had time to sidestep the counterattack!

"So this is no normal man... You! Just who are you?"

"I don't have a name. I am known only as "the Samurai". And you, Sima Yi, you must pay!"

"Pay? For what?"

"For the destruction of my home!"

The Samurai roared and immediately rushed Yi after this, striking with both his blades with the speed of a lightning bolt. The attacks were so fast and rage filled Yi didn't even have time to block them! The best he could do is duck and shift his body away from the sharp metal things. He knew he couldn't dodge these blades forever though... He had to do something!

And then, suddenly, Yi found an opening. His legs. He was so caught up in the fight, he'd left himself open. In one swift movement Yi zipped his chain along the Samurai's feet, tripping him. He was going to follow up with quick laser beam but he found himself only blasting stone as the Samurai rolled out of the way and jolted to his feet, blades again at the ready. But now Yi could regroup and it was his turn to go on the offensive. He took hold of his fan and morphed it into a black sword and readied for his attack.

At this point neither Yi or the Samurai had realized that Wei had annihilated all of Orochi's troops. They didn't even notice the flock of them all arrayed around the platform, watching the struggle with intent eyes as if a legit duel.

Sima shot his chain once more and wrapped it around one of the Samurai's katanas. Now normally this would be a good thing but the Samurai easily found a way to turn this around on our anti-hero. He jerked his blade back with such force that it caused Sima Yi to fly through the air right at him! The Samurai was about to hack him in half with his secondary sword, but thankfully Yi was able to block it with his own sword and regained his footing. The two were now in a fierce deadlock.

"So, I destroyed your home did I? Well you'd best get over it..." Yi loosed his chains hold on the blade as the chain slid back into his sleeve, "Soon!" And with his newly available hand blasted Samurai with a beam straight to the gut, sending him back a ways with sheer force.

The Samurai held his stomach, quickly forgetting the pain as he took a stance again. His eyes glared at Yi with a fierce hatred. "Get over it? You burnt my home to the ground! And I'm suppose to just get over it!" He was squeezing his sword so hard blood began to slither down and drip to the ground.

"People die in war. Homes get destroyed, I just happen to be the one that gave the order that time. This is the way of things. Acknowledge this or cease to be!"

"How can you speak of lives like they're so expendable!"

"Because they ARE. For the greater goal any life is expendable."

"And what greater goal could be made from so many deaths?"

"Peace, obviously. Obliterate all opposition and what's left to make war? It's simple enough to understand, is it not? Ah, but don't worry, in a matter of moments you won't have to strain your inferior brain to comprehend that or anything at all!"

No longer allowing words, Yi let out five of his strings and sent them straight toward the Samurai. He was able to stop a two of them with his swords but the rest got through, sticking in his arms and legs and piercing his flesh. Now Yi had him. The Samurai was unable to move. Time to end this. Yi holstered his blade and brought up his free hand to shoot one final beam at the warrior, nailing him in his torso. The attack was so strong it knocked the wires out of his body and sent him flying into the wall. Rock fragments went flying as well as blood spat from his mouth before his body slid to the ground, motionless.

Yi walked over to the fallen warrior and stared at him for a moment. A long moment actually. No one said at word during this time, just silence.

"Idiot. Preaching about lives while his interference may have cost the deaths of thousands. Everyone! Were going back after Da Ji! We can't let her get any farther!"

Sima Yi and his army quickly reorganized in rank and file and begun preparations to continue the march. However, one man didn't. Guo Jia. He reached into his robe as he moved to the Samurai's body, kneeling down after pulling out an elixir. He placed it next to the Samurai. He wasn't dead, and that liquid would restore him.

"Stay well, young warrior." He spoke softly, just above a whisper, "Weather you know it or not, you have a powerful being watching over you. She wishes you well on your journey and ask that you replenish your strength. You are needed for many battles ahead."

Jia then turned around ready to join the army as it was about to leave the garrison...but it suddenly closed shut, trapping Jia and the entire Wei army inside! Only Sima Yi, Huang Gai, Nene, and Guan Ping managed to make it past the gates.

"And perhaps maybe this one as well..."

***** Outside the Gate *****

Sima Yi turned around just in time to see the gate shut completely, a sharp sense of worry and anger entering his heart, "What just happened! Who closed the gate!"

"No one did my lord!," Huang Gai quickly responded, "Certainly not I!"

Nene sniffed the air twice, "This smells of naughty trickery!"

Meanwhile Guan Ping stared further up the mountain with severe stress on his face, "Um, Sima Yi..."

"Curses! There's only the four of us so we certainly can't continue without them... Huang Gai, how much more explosives do you have?"

"Enough to blast down the door. Enough to blast down the door and stop a rock slide, not so much."

"Maybe I can do some ninjitsu and make the door open?"

"Sima Yi, this really can't wait!"

"Alright, Nene get started on it just make sure it works!"

"Don't worry, I've seen her in action. She'll get it done."

"Ryn, Byo, Tou..."

"SIMA YI!"

"WHAT!"

"There's a boulder coming toward us. -_-"

"Sha, Kai-wait, what?"

"Curses..."

At this point the three "mighty warriors" around Yi were panicing. A gigantic boulder was about to crush them all and they had nowhere to run! Sima Yi had to think of something quick, for the boulder came closer and closer with each passing second... Suddenly, he had an idea. He looked to the gate, then the boulder, and then the two cliff walls over head. A branch was sticking out of one. It didn't look too strong but it didn't have to hold for long. It would do.

"Yes...if it works we can hit two birds with one stone... Nene! Teleport past to the others and tell everyone to back away from the gate!"

"Actually I don't teleport I just-"

"NENE!"

"Yes sir!" Poof!

"You two, grab onto me!"

"What?"

"DO IT!"

The two warriors did so and grabbed onto Yi's waist just as he zipped them up by latching onto the branch with his chain. Once he was certain he had gained enough distance Yi looked down to see if his plan had worked. The boulder past underneath them harmlessly and as it did so, busted through the gate door! The Wei troops had moved quick so not a one was even grazed. Showing off a smirk, Yi slide down in front of the base to be greeted by Nene and Guo Jia as the two let go of him.

Wei moral is rising!

"Excellently done." Jia complemented.

"Yeah!" Nene agreed, "I thought you were all gonna get flattened out there. Nice one."

"Yes, yes, you can all admire my brilliance later. But right now we have to stop that cannon." Yi checked the army and saw that they were all ready to charge. Pleased by this he looked up the mountain trail and aimed his hand forward. "All forces! Resume the advance!"

And thus the march continued. It was simply amazing at how fast the Wei forces reassembled and even more so at the speed they were charging. But with how well the battle was going moral was high and you could tell the men were beginning to become accustom to Sima Yi, and also learning that all his boasting comes well earned. It seemed Da Ji had planned on the boulder to take care of the Wei then and there as there wasn't even a simple cavalry ambush after this. It wasn't long until Yi and his men finally reached the top. What they didn't expect however, was the massive amounts of troops Da Ji had stationed here...

And the fox herself was there to great them first, surprisingly. "Oh, look. If it isn't Sima Yi and his band of merry men. Come to get blown to bits? See this cannon behind me? It's about to turn you and your home to dust. Hehehehe..."

Sima Yi and his army looked well onto the Soul Cannon behind her. It was indeed massive, though thankfully not as large as Yi had original thought it to be. Even still, it was a terrifying creation to behold... It already had a faint light illuminating from the inner barrel, showing it couldn't have much longer until it was ready to fire... "Well then it looks like we should skip the name calling and get straight to the blood. ATTAAAAAACK!"

And with that the entire attack force charged as the officers tore through the reptilian army. Eight mighty warriors, each one worth a thousand troops and then some all against the same enemy. Truly a sight to behold. Orochi's forces were actually doing quite well at the beginning of the battle. But their moral quickly began to drop as another wave of Wei troops past over the mountain trail. And then another. And then another... And soon only Da Ji and a handful of troops remained on her side. Sima Yi moved in on Da Ji as his forces began to finish up the remainder.

"Hey!" Da Ji pouted, "Th-that's not fair! You can't have all these troops after I squashed so many!"

"Ha ha ha! Foolish vixen! You should have thought of everything, like I did." Yi explained, "But I suppose not everyone can be as great as I. A tragedy really. Now prepare to die!"

While Yi was chatting with Da Ji he had actually morphed his fan into a sword and swung at the fox, almost cleaving her in two if she hadn't had jumped back in time. Her ears were now twitching with irritation, clearly not enjoying being deceived.

"Why you little..! I'll show you just how great I am! With my BALLS!"

There was a sharp silence after this off colored comment, both fighters taking a moment to register those exact words in their brain.

"...Pfft-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Yi burst into laughter, unable to control himself, "Did you-did you just-HAHA-say-HAHAHAHA! You-you said-HAHAHA!"

Da Ji hung her head low as her face turned a bright red, the embarrassment too much for her really. "Just-just shut up and die!"

Da Ji threw her orbs at the strategist that was quite literally rolling on the ground laughing. By some chance in hell he managed to avoid both orbs while he was rolling.

"Hehehehe, BALLS! HAHAHAHA! Oh my God, that was funny! XD"

"Grr... Just die, dammit!" In a fit of rage Da Ji leaped into the air and began bombarding Sima Yi with a barrage of fire balls, Musou style, "DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!" Each fire ball created a cloud of dust with the cloud growing larger and larger with every strike. By the time Da Ji was done Yi couldn't even be found amidst all the dust. However such a release had left Da Ji panting quite hard, showing her exhaustion.

"How...was that, huh?"

"Pathetic."

"What!"

Through the dust clouds below a chain could be seen zooming out of it and wrapping around Da Ji's ankle. She was pulled down into the cloud and was then met face first with the shield Yi had used to block her assault. The force of the blow was so strong Da Ji actually did a flip in the air before landing flat on her already bruised face. Yi morphed his fan, the dust cleared, and then his sword could be found right at Da Ji's neck.

"It seems you don't fully understand the situation, Da Ji. I am superior, you are weak. I no longer serve the Serphent. And now I no longer have hide my true abilities."

"Hehehe," Da Ji raised her head just enough from the dirt to speak, "Oh you're good, I'll give you that much. But you're not better than me. You want proof? You'll have it in about five minutes when that cannon turns you to dust!"

And it was with these words and an ear grinding giggle that Da Ji disappeared to return to her king...

Sima Yi growled and put his weapon away as he turned to his allies, Zhang He approaching him first as a thought suddenly hit him. "...Wait, if Da Ji could teleport why the hell did we have to chase her? She could have easily teleported here and just killed us all far ahead of time with the cannon."

"Plot device?" Zhang He shrugged.

"...A what?"

"You know, a plot device. Basically some sort of BS that makes little to no sense included simply for the sake of the story progression or to fill in a plot hole."

"Hm...for some reason when I hear that word I have the uncontrollable urge to attack something..."

"Nonsense, it's a totally natural thing in a story needed for-" Zhang He's reassuring words were silenced with a lazor to the face.

"Master Sima Yi," Zhang Liao interrupted, pointing to the cannon "I believe we have more important matters to deal with..?"

Yi looked to what Zhang Liao was mentioning. The sound of the colossal cannon charging could be heard. Da Ji was correct. The Soul Cannon was indeed about to fire! The men were panicing, and running around frantically. For an army that was ready to fight demons a few minutes ago this really didn't look too good... As far as he new there wasn't anything they could do to stop the cannon. This...this looked like the end...

"No... The Heavens have not abandond me yet! Jia!"

"Yes, Zhongda?"

"Get the troops to calm down and have them assemble by the cannon! And hurry! We've only got a few minutes left!"

Guo Jia nodded, and together with the other officers the men were back in shape within a matter of seconds, not even a full minute. Sima Yi stood ahead of his force right beside the cannon and eyed the cannon's base. Yes, it was exactly like he though. The base had adjustable wheels at the bottom, needed to get the device from point A to point B obviously, a kind that would automatically turn when enough force was applied. It could work.

"Alright, everyone! I need you to get beside the cannon and with all your might, turn it away from Xu Chang! I know it looks like it weighs over a hundred tons and it most likely does! But if we all work together and use all our might I know we can do it! Remember, if we don't do this your friends, your family, your home, and your own life will all be turned to ash! Now come on! We're turning this cannon east, to the ocean!"

Sima Yi was the first to act on this. He brought out both his chains and hooked them around the cannon's side and began tugging back at it with all his might. The officers under his command were the next to act, even Fang followed in suit. And finally the peons, captains, and sergeants alike all swarmed to it. They pushed and pulled as hard as they could. Everyone was doing their part, Nene even split into three clones but it wasn't enough...

"Heave, men! Do you really intend to die here! To let your families die! Heave with-agh!"

Thanks to cruel fate Yi's right hand chain had snapped as he was trying to encourage his men. However the chain didn't fall to the ground. Instead a man caught it. No, a Samurai.

"You! How did-?"

"C'mon," The Samurai Yi had previously fought smirked, "I thought you were too smart to die in a place like this. Now pull, Sima Yi!"

And now with the Samurai's unexpected help, the Wei warriors heaved as hard as they could and then even harder than that. And then, finally, they felt the cannon move! Finally! The entire army took a step forward as it's wheels adjusted slightly more, just a bit more and the wheels would do the work in turning it for them! Just a little more..!

***** ? *********

_**"Ryn, Byo, Tou, Sha, Kai, Jin, Retsu, Zai, Zen..."**_****

***** Mountain Plateau *****

There! That did it! The cannon finally began move in full! It didn't take much effort at all for the lot of them to move the machine into perfect position and aimed directly at the ocean! Just in time too, as you could hear the cannon about to fire.

"Everybody back away from the cannon now!" Yi ordered as the entire army scrambled with the last bits of their strength, several leaping to the dirt for cover as the decisive moment finally arrived and...

**BOOM!**

From the shot a bright light filled the air, filling their eyes with total white. And the sound wasn't there at all for the first moment, absolute silence, that was abruptly interuppted from the loudest of sounds any of them had ever heard that probably made half the army deaf. And the heat, just from being so close, actually left some burn marks on some of the closer peons. And keep in mind they're all in armor! From the right distance though it was actually comforting for some, but not for most. The light soon vanished in what felt like an eternity's time. Sight finally returned to the people there as well as their hearing. As all their senses returned everyone remained perfectly still, confused, thankful, scared, or a mix of all three filling their minds.

Guan Ping looked up at the cannon, smoke rising from the barrel. His gaze then feel back down the mountain, eying the tip of Xu Chang castle in the distance that was just barely in view. Next he checked the people around him, all seeming to be fine, and them he felt his own body to make sure he hadn't turned into a ghost or something. But...it was fine. Everything was absolutely fine. "We...we actually...did it. Heh. Heh heh." The Young Dragon chuckled as he fell down and rested on the ground, motionless in his relief.

And that was it. The Soul Cannon had finally fired and thanks to the efforts of Sima Yi and the men of Wei it's unforetold destruction was prevented. Well, except for the fish. They're all dead. Everyone was exhausted now. Nene collapsed atop her own clones, Guo Jia was leaning against a nearby tree, and anybody with a spear was currently using it for support. However, they did must up the strength for one last thing.

_**Three cheers for victory! Three cheers for Lord Sima Yi!**__****_

_**Hei, hei, HOOOOO!**__****_

_**Hei, hei, HOOOOO!**__****_

_**Hei, hei, HOOOOO!**_****

***** Mountain Peak *****

"Yes...congratulations, Sima Yi." A particular ninja mused from atop the mountain peak, far too high to be seen from anyone below. "You did quite well. But next time, chaos won't be here to save you. But to destroy you." The Fuma fiend crackled as he jumped back and free-fell down the opposite side of the mountain...

***** Mountain Plateau *****

Yi sat on the ground, much like most of his comrades at the moment. He smiled contently at his first victory under Wei again until he heard a "hm" from Cao Ren, whom he had just realize was sitting next to him.

"You know, in hindsight," He began, "it might have been better to turn the cannon towards Koshi Castle instead."

"...**** you, Cao Ren."

***** Xu Chang - Cao Pi & Mitsunari *****

"Mitsunari," The Wei Prince said, staring out the window of one of Xu Chang's outer hallways. "look."

"Hm? What is that?" Mitsunari pondered aloud, watching as a bright blue light of energy flue through the sky, "It's like a shooting star falling down to the ocean... It's the shell from the Soul Cannon isn't it?"

"Indeed. It seems Sima Yi was right all along. Perhaps you were a little too hard on him?"

"Perhaps. If so then I suppose I should make it up to him. I'm thinking, a celebration?"

_Fade to black as Cao Pi nods and the pair exit to make preparations...___

**_*** End of Chapter 3 ***_**_****_

**_*** NW Guide 3: Noble Reunion, Noble Showdown! ***_**__

_The Noble Warriors Guide intro starts with Yuan Shao flying by the screen with rainbows shooting out of his ass and propelling him forward until the entire screen is covered in rainbows. Wen Chou appears only to be struck by Guan Yu riding by on Red Hare while shouting "SORYA", the force of which sending him flying into the rainbows, shattering them._

***** Guan Du - Nightfall *****

"SHU IS ATTACKING! SHU IS ATTACKING GUAN DU CASTLE! READY THE CATAPULTS!"

The sound of armies clashing could be heard as the Shu army charged the walls of Guan Du Castle, where Zhao Yun's lord Liu Bei is reportedly being held. Fighting for their lord, the Shu army would stop for nothing. Even as boulders rain down, coupled with arrows their army would not stop as they battled the enemy army. Yukimura was at the forefront of the army, fighting down countless solders. Meanwhile Zhao Yun approached on his steed, knowing that as commander he must order the men, rather than fight beside them as accustomed. Just as well, Lord Yukimura can make up for him just as well as he himself could.

"Even still," Zhao Yun spoke to himself, "I wish I could be in there..."

"Very well then, as the newest edition of my army, I allow you to fight in my name."

Yun rolled his eyes, already knowing that came from none other than Yuan Shao. "Lord Yuan Shao, you are a part of my army now. Not the other way around."

"But you just called me lord."

"As a sign of respect, yes, but-"

"Good, you should always respect your lord."

"...You know what; just to get away from you I'm going to abandon my duties and go fight. I'm sure the men know what to do by now." With this brutally honest comment that phased Shao naught, the Dragon of Chang Sha rode into battle, blocking arrows on the way. Once he'd gained some ground he leaped off his horse and into the front lines, dropkicking an enemy trooper as he landed. He probably broke the poor lad's neck. Yun wasted no time in swiping away hordes of enemies and eventually made his way to Yukimura.

"Ah, Lord Zhao Yun!" He shouted, "Good, we could use your help!" In unison they both struck with their respective spears and cleared more and more men away. With the both of them they cleared away the enemy forces and made it to Guan Du Castle gate, now too close to be struck by arrows or boulders. "Great, now we just need a way to get through here."

"Yes, I'll order the men for-what is that?" Zhao Yun looked into the opposite horizon of Guan Du and saw a wave of something in the air. A wave of...arrows! He could swear they were coming straight for him! But they didn't however, instead striking the archers and men working the catapults on the castle walls above. Yun looked back down to earth to see a ram rolling towards them as well, and with no one on the walls to attack, it was safe to proceed.

"Ha ha ha! My plan worked perfectly!" Shao exclaimed approaching along side the ram, smiling, like a badass, and holding a torch for some reason or another.

"Yuan Shao? You ordered this? W-well done!" Yukimura exclaimed, fairly surprised. Zhao Yun as well couldn't hide his expression. Yuan Shao actually came in handy.

"Yes, yes, you can praise me later. Now we can break down the gates with THE RAM!"

The ram approached the castle gates as the army moved out of the way. Zhao Yun looked on, pleased, and awaited Shao to give the command to break down the gates. Instead he lit it on fire with the torch, the entire ram lighting up in flames in a mere instant.

"SHAO!" Zhao Yun immediately roared in objection, "Why on earth did you do that!"

"Hm? So we can break down the gates of course!"

Yun looked at Shao. Then at the burning ram. Then Shao again. Then the ram again. No matter how he tried he could not understand this 'plan'. "HOW! The one thing that could break it down is on fire!"

"Right! You see the ram was just a careful disguise for the bombs hidden inside of it. The enemy will never expect us to blow up their gate!"

Yun twitched in...utter shock at Shao's stupidity. "You just killed all the enemies, what enemies are we trying to-" Then, a thought occurred. "Wait... We are standing next to this ram..."

"Indeed."

"And it has bombs inside of it..."

"It does."

"...And it's been ablaze for a good minute or so now...

"Correct."

"So it will explode any second."

"Yes, yes it will.

"...EVERYONE BUT SHAO, PLEASE TAKE COVER!"

The Shu army ran, some tripping over themselves as they fled in terror, Zhao Yun and Yukimura making damn sure to get out of the way as it suddenly became everyman for himself as they tried to escape to coming explosion. Save for Shao who simple smiled, like a badass. The Shu army managed to gain enough distance before the bombs went off, shattering stone and dirt to pieces as the castle doors were blown off and Shao was nowhere to be seen. In fact, he appeared to have been incinerated. Pity that.

Now that the danger had passed the Shu army approached the now destroyed gate, Zhao Yun and Yukimura being the ones to examine the damage first. There was no trace of Shao at all. Not even chunks of armor or anything. He was right next to the explosion...maybe he was truly gone... Yun and Yukimura looked at each other, both thinking the same thing, and hi-5'd each other. No words were needed, the extreme happiness of both could be seen in their eyes.

***** Guan Du Castle - Prison *****

Zhao Yun, Yukimura, and a small battalion hurried into the castle and slew anything in their way until they reached the prison. There were cells abound but all of them seemed to be empty, until they finally got to the very last one.

"MY LORD!"

Zhao Yun opened the cell door and saw inside what he thought to be his lord, but was infact...

"Wen Chou!" Yuan Shao shouted, stepping into the room to greet his vassal.

"Ah!" Wen Chou looked up at his lord in glee, "Lord Yuan Shao! I had thought to never see you again, my lord!"

"I would never leave you behind Wen Chou, my friend. Now, do you still have that 20% off coupon for McDonalds, I'm quite famished."

"Erm, no my lord, it appears I lo-"

"GTFO, you're worthless to me now!"

"But since I work there you can still get it if I come."

"Wen Chou, my friend!" Shao hugged his 'friend' and proceeded to untie his hands. "Now let's go to-"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" Yun protested, finally coming to his senses to speak, "I saw you, you got caught in the explosion, how are you here now!"

"...I don't recall that. Now, Wen Chou, let's roll!"

"Yes my lord!" Chou and his lord, reunited, exited Guan Du and proceeded to McDonalds. As Zhao Yun just stood, unsure of the very laws of physics anymore, just utterly astonished by...everything Yuan Shao does... In his astonishment, Yukimura approached Yun.

"My lord, one of the men informed me that many of Yuan Shao's officers were found in Bai Ma Castle and Yan Jin Castle, some being his sons. What should we-"

"Execute them."

"I-I'm sorry?"

"Yukimura, you see how Yuan Shao is. Do you really want to deal with his sons as well?"

"...I'll give the order."

***** McDonalds *****

Yuan Shao and Wen Chou entered the fine establishment of fast food and approach the counter. There was a man drinking tea in the background but no one really paid him attention. Shao eyed the menu, even though he already knew what he was getting. The cashier soon came to address him.

"Hello, welcome to McDonalds, how may I-"

"Worship me."

"...Okay then. How may I help you?"

"I would like a Whopper, knave."

"Um...you mean a McDouble?

"No, I require a Whopper."

"Um...we don't sell those, that's Burger King."

"I demand a Whopper, with a 20% discount!"

"I'm sorry but we don't-"

"I will set fire to this restaurant if I am not properly satisfied."

"...Mm'kay, one Whopper, coming right up. That'll be-"

"Wen Chou, pay him."

"My lord!"

As Wen Chou went to handle the payment, Shao went over to the waiting section and took a seat next to a man with his legs crossed, sipping on some tea. "I dare say, that's a fine mustache you have there!" He said, halting his drinking for a moment.

"Yes, yes it is. That is a very noble helm you have on."

"Why thank you! It's so nice to meet a man who understands proper etiquette!" The tea-man took another sip, quite refined as he did so, "Hm... That color, that facial hair... Ah, you must be Zhang Jiao!"

"..." Yuan Shao would have already pimp slapped the tea-man for such a mistake but there was something about this fellow he really liked that made him not. However it was very apparent that the tea-man was wrong with the intense glare he sent him.

"Oh, that's not it? I'm sorry, I'm just terrible with names! Ah, ha ha ha haa!"

Suddenly a voice rang over the intercom, "One McDou...er, Whopper, ready at the front. One Whopper ready at the front."

Acknowledging this, Shao stood up, walking to the counter and placed his hand on the bag containing the Whopper...to find another hand placed at the same time. Shao immediately looked to the man that would dare put their hand on HIS food! "You!" It was him! The tea-man!

The tea-man also had an mutual feeling concerning the McDou-I mean, Whopper. He raised his obviously plucked eyebrow angerly, "Excuse me, just who do you think you are!"

_"Who am I?"_

As Shao grinned a sparkle appeared in his teeth and the background suddenly changed to pitch black with a spotlight on Yuan Shao. The camera spun around Shao as he spoke.

**"I am the holy, the magnificent, the superb and supreme, YUAN-** The spinning then stopped as Shao waved his sword around and the background changed to a gold and yellow blend with the Yuan flag waving behind, **"MOTHER****ING-SHAO!"** Shao jammed his sword into the ground and took a dramatic pose to add dramaticness.

"Oh, so that's who you are!" The tea-man's tone changed back to his regular one but his action of throwing his precious tea cup to the ground expressed otherwise. "Well allow me to give you my name." The tea-man took out a small, very slender botan and adjusted the camera with it as he spoke, dramatically making close ups as he spoke, "I am the renown... The feared... LORD YOSHIAKI!" Suddenly green text appeared on the screen in what seemed like paint blotches that said;

**Yoshiaki Mogami - The Weasel**  
"There are none in this world who can defeat me!"

"Impressive..." Shao noted, impressed with the tea-man. Surely he has come from a noble family as well! But trying to take the food of a Yuan is unforgivable! This commoner must be apprehended immediately!

Shao readied his blade, the Sword of Kings, and took a stance as Yoshiaki did the same... Both their eyes narrowed, adjusting their feet slightly as they both charged, simultaneously shouting,

"LET'S GO!"

_The Noble Warriors Guide ending begins as Yoshiaki flies around with tea shooting out of his ass and propelling him forward a few times before crashing head first into the screen, shattering it upon impact___

**_*** End of NWG 3 ***_**

Disclaimer: Welp, that's the Chapter 3 Remake. Terribly sorry for not updating in like, forever. How this turned out better than the original, because I sure think it did. As always gimmi' your feedback and I shall listen. Also, some of you that haven't played Sengoku Basara: Samurai Heroes/3 probably have no idea whom Yoshiaki Mogami is. If you want to know...go play that game. Seriously though, he's basically the Basara version of Shao. And Rose, I'm sure you orgasmed at the end there, make sure to clean up. :D


	4. Chapter 4 The Celebration

***** Chapter 4 - The Celebration *****

_The Wei army was taking a moment to rest, having just barely avoided a catastrophic death. The officers and soldiers alike were now finally beginning to regain their strength as Yi directed them to fall in line. And past the fearsome force, a Samurai could be seen approaching the Wei strategist Guo Jia._

**Samurai:** Guo Jia. I should thank you for the elixir...but...

**Guo Jia:** You want to know what I meant before? Don't worry Samurai. All shall be reveled later.

**Samurai:** But...who is watching over me? Who is "she"?

**Guo Jia:** She watches over me as well. Truly we are two lucky individuals.

**Samurai:** ...You're not going to answer me are you?

**Guo Jia:** No. Now leave this place Samurai. You have your own path to follow and it is not here.

**Samurai:** Hm... Very well. I look forward to meeting this "she".

_Jia watched as the Samurai headed down the mountain path. They would meet again, he was sure of it. So was "she". But now he turned to Yi. It was their time to go as well._  
_The Wei army took a long while to rest and gather their strength for the march back to Xu Chang. Thankfully, the march home seemed to go by much quicker and it was certainly more easier. During the march Sima Yi noticed a kind of...tension was lifted from this victory. It now longer felt like he was fighting with strangers. It now felt...like home. That is, until Yi actually got home and found Mitsunari and Cao Pi awaiting him...with this._

**Sima Yi:** *blink, blink*

_What was before Yi was not the solid concrete of Xu Chang but...streamers. A lot of them. A damn lot. Blue and white ones stretching all the way to the castle beyond the gate he was under. There were also a ton of men screaming cries of joy and victory. And at the very top of the opened gate doors was a blue banner stating "CONGRATULATIONS, SIMA YI!" in big bold letters with a crudely drawn chibi Sima Yi jumping in joy. All of this, just for him._

**Sima Yi:** ...What the hell is this?

**Cao Pi:** You don't like it? I didn't think you would. But the men do. Now come. We have food inside the--*is trampled by 8 officers + Fang*

**Mitsunari:** ...You alright?

**Cao Pi:** Yes...just, a couple of broken bones.

**Mitsunari:** If it's any consolation the footprints match your hair.

**Cao Pi:** **** you, Mitsunari.

***** Inside Xu Chang Castle Dinning Hall *****

_For these warriors the real party had only just now started as they dug into their respective plate fulls of various dishes. Especially Xu Zhu who probably had three of everything. The nine officers, Fang, Mitsunari, and Cao Pi were all arrayed along a particularly long table enjoying their food and the company of others. From left to right the warriors were placed as this;___

_Cao Pi at the end of the table followed by Sima Yi, Guo Jia, Fang, Zhang He, Cao Ren, Xu Zhu at the other end and looping around to Huang Gai, Zhang Liao, Guan Ping, Nene, Mitsunari, and finally returning to Cao Pi. With all these guess to serve the cooks and waitresses were literally running across the dinning hall as the plates piled up..._

**Sima Yi:** Serving wretch! More rice balls!

**Guo Jia:** Some more wine too if you would...

**Nene:** I demand more sushi! Sushi, sushi, sushi!

**Xu Zhu:** Baozi please!

**Huang Gai:** You've had enough as it is! Oh, but get the baozi anyways I'm still rather hungry.

**Cao Ren:** Make that two servings of baozi please.

_Needless to say, the waitress eventually passed out from exhaustion...___

_After several plates, two more waitresses, and seven more cooks, the warriors had finally had their fill. Cao Pi had dismissed dinner and given the warriors time to mingle and celebrate further as the troops did so down in the barracks as well. He also had Xu Zhu help the cooks clean since he eat most of the food. The warriors were now walking around the castle, engaging in their own conversations and activities._

**Sima Yi:** Jia.

**Guo Jia:** Yes, Zhongda?

**Sima Yi:** I've been meaning to ask you, your weapon... The rapier and shield. I've never seen you wield those before.

**Guo Jia:** Yes well, let's just say ambushes can be a troublesome thing when on the receiving end. There was an incident during this with a rather sharp piece of metal nearly spilling my brain open and it was then I decided a shield might not be such a bad thing apposed to a simple blade.

**Sima Yi:** Really? You fell into an ambush? I thought you better than that.

**Guo Jia:** In my defense I was up against your rival.

**Sima Yi:** Ha ha ha. So even the great Fengxiao cannot surpass the wiles of Zhuge Liang! I however would not have fallen for such tricks.

**Guo Jia:** Indeed. So the statue at the Wu Zhang Plains, that was just a fluke?

**Sima Yi:** Ha ha ha! I can predict the living, but not the dead!

**Guo Jia:** So I've heard. ...I wish I had been there for such a great battle.

_(Silence)_

**Guo Jia:** Lord Sima Yi, I am grateful to able to fight along side you. *holds up arm*

**Sima Yi:** *rolls eyes* Humph. Indeed. *crosses arms with Jia, forming a X* Imbecile...

_Meanwhile..._

**Zhang He:** Lord Cao Pi, I must say you've done wonderfully with the decorations. Although, the streamers are a bit...um...everywhere.

**Cao Pi:** Yes, I had Xu Zhu in charge of the decorations. I had intended this to be a punishment but I think he actually enjoyed it...

**Zhang He:** A punishment? Whatever for?

**Cao Pi:** I put him in charge of guarding the food. Worst mistake of my life.

**Zhang He:** But I thought General Xu Huang was going to stop him from eating?

**Cao Pi:** He tried. But when Xu Zhu wants food he's like the Hulk. He actually broke Xu Huang's ribs and fractured his skull just to get a pork bun.

**Zhang He:** O_O

**Cao Pi:** My thoughts exactly. Wait, is that Guan Ping heading over to Sima Yi?

**Zhang He:** Why yes, I believe it is.

**Cao Pi:** Oh dear, that's a blood bath waiting to happen...

_Back to Yi..._

**Guan Ping:** Lord Sima Yi.

**Sima Yi:** Hm? Oh, it's you. ...What?

**Guan Ping:** I wanted to say thank you on behalf of Huang Gai and myself. For saving us in the battle...

**Sima Yi:** Thanks accepted. Now I'm sure you have someone else to bother so you'd best get to it.

**Guan Ping:** Hey! I'm trying to say thanks, you jerk! You don't have to be such an ***!

**Sima Yi:** But if I'm not then how else can I get you to leave me alone?

**Guan Ping:** Y-you! Urgh! Forget it! *stomps off*

**Sima Yi:** Humph. Filthy brat. Someone ought to-

_**SMACK!!!**_

**Sima Yi:** OW!!! Jesus Christ, did you-did you just spank me!?

**Nene:** Yes I did! You are being way too hard on poor Guan Ping! Now either you change your attitude around him or next time I'll bend you over my knees and give you a real spanking! :O Paddle and all!

**Sima Yi:** ...Yes ma'am. _...You know, that should really bother me more than it does..._

**Nene:** Good! Now don't let me catch you acting like that again! *rushes after Ping*

**Sima Yi:** *scoff* Can you believe that vixen?

**Guo Jia:** She does have a point. You are being too hard on him. What is it you have against him so?

**Sima Yi:** What don't I have against the boy? He was part of Shu, one of Guan Yu's sons no less! And he's done absolutely nothing to prove why he should be given the rank of officer, especially a Wei officer! The most he's done is swing a sword.

**Guo Jia:** Hm...I see.

**Sima Yi:** Oh, I know that look. You're going to do something I won't like, aren't you?

**Guo Jia:** Ha ha. No, no...well...yes. But not at the moment. I'm feeling rather tired. I believe I will retire for the night. Good night, Zhongda.

**Sima Yi:** Bah, very well. I should check on the others anyways. Good night. *bows*

**Guo Jia:** *bows, then retires*

_The night continued on as the warriors returned to their minglement. Nene was eventually able to talk Guan Ping out of his childish rage and sent him to bed. Soon after the others thought it was time to rest as well and began pouring out of the room until all that remain was Sima Yi, Zhang He, Mitsunari, and Cao Pi. As Mitsunari then saw the young Cao off he turned to Sima Yi._

**Mitsunari:** Ah, Sima Yi. A moment, if you would.

**Sima Yi:** Hm, yes?

**Mitsunari:** I thought it would be appropriate if I gave you a former apology. For mistrusting you. I'd like you to know that you have my full support in the time to come.

**Sima Yi:** Is that so? I suppose I should be grateful. You are my superior after all. *bows*

**Mitsunari:** *returns the bow, and finishes with a nod before retiring*

**Sima Yi:** Humph.

_Sima Yi then decided it was time to head for his own bed and he began to proceed through the hallways, Zhang He close behind him._

**Zhang He:** Well that was absolutely wonderful! I'm happy to see Mitsunari trusts you now.

**Sima Yi:** What, are you blind? He wouldn't trust me to watch his monkey.

**Zhang He:** Really? Are you sur--

**Sima Yi:** Yes. Now, can you find your way to your room on your own or do you need me to hold your hand the way there.

**Zhang He:** ...Well actu--

**Sima Yi:** That was rhetorical.

**Zhang He:** Fine... :(

_Yi made a smuggish scoff as Zhang left for his own bed, leaving Yi all alone as he transcends the hallways to his room. Xu Chang may not have been the highest castle but it was certainly the widest. On his walk Yi began to really think about the situation. He left Wei to die, fought against them, and then returned like nothing had happened. And with all these new faces it almost seemed like an entirely different Wei. And to think; it really wasn't that long ago that he was sending an army on Wei's He Fei encampment..._

***** Flashback - He Fei Cliffside *****

_The sound of clashing metal could be heard all around. People dieing, limbs flying... Orochi's forces were waging a fierce battle against a Wei-Shu Coalition, and the battle wasn't going well for either side. Orochi's numbers and power would progress them further in, but precises and swift ambushes would only cause them to regain it back as the process was repeated on several points of the battle field. It was then that the command, Masamune Date, called in for support._

**Sima Yi:** Just look at this... All we're doing is wasting our resources...

**Zhuge Liang:** However, now that we have arrived the enemies defenses will falter by dawn.

**Sima Yi:** I still don't see why Da Ji ordered both of us here. I only would have sufficed. I suppose she's using this battle to see if we'd have the guts to fight our own men.

**Zhuge Liang:** Look at it this way; this could be your chance to upstage me.

**Sima Yi:** Good point. So should you start or I?

**Zhuge Liang:** I would be more than happy to do the honors.

_Upon uttering this the strategist waved his fan, giving a signal. This signal, however, caused something truly shocking. Cliffs from above the enemy outpost erupted in a blaze of fire and explosions, causing the very earth crumple and succeeding in both destroying the enemies elevated cover and causing a rain of rock upon the enemy base below. Even Sima Yi had to admit that was an ingenious move. Of course he would never actually let those words escape his lips._

**Zhuge Liang:** Ninjas. Marvelously useful. They can get just about anywhere.

**Sima Yi:** Tch... Just wait. Remember, you don't have kill everything in sight to win a battle.

**Messenger:** Lord Sima Yi! Your covert troop is under heavy fire by enemy archers! They cannot progress to the main camp!

**Zhuge Liang:** Must be Shu's archers.

**Sima Yi:** What!? How do you know!?

**Zhuge Liang:** Wei's are all dead.

_Liang then pointed down the cliff side Wei's watchpost...currently in flames. This of course warranted a snarl from Yi._

**Sima Yi:** Just send a freakin' assault force to take them out!

**Zhuge Liang:** Messenger, go and send some of the men in Keiji's unit to deal with the archers. Then have the reserve forces to reinforce the front line until the covert troop has taken the main camp...or supply base, Yi still hasn't told me where they were headed.

**Sima Yi:** ...Main camp.

**Zhuge Liang:** Excellent choice. Make it so, Messenger.

_The Messenger did as he was told. Upon this Sima Yi's sneak attack left the enemies front in ruins as Date forces punched through them, Keiji at the head. The main camp was taken and the remaining Wei-Shu forces retreated. Sima Yi still refuses to admit he was outshone on that day..._

_End Flashback_

_Fading back into reality, Sima Yi now found himself at his door. Upon further inspection he saw Fang stationed before him...asleep on the floor. With a chuckle he opened his door and went inside. Fang would be allowed to rest this night, he didn't expect anyone to bother him tonight anyways. Yi then found himself back in the comfort of his bed. After all, even a genious needs his shut eye..._

_Fade to black, as Yi sleeps the night away..._

***** End of Chapter 4 *****


	5. Chapter 5 Underground Raid

***** Chapter 5 - Underground Raid *****

_It was nearly dusk. The sun was just about to disappear into the night sky, and somewhere, underneath the very earth was a powerful reptilian force. It was one of Orochi's underground POW camp, and by the time of sun set an event is to take place..._

**Orochi Peon:** Hey, have you heard!? There's gonna be an execution today at sunset, in the gallery! Some snot-nosed girl.

**Orochi Sargent:** Really? Let's go check it out! I wanna see her get gutted...

**Orochi Peon:** ...You know, for a human, you're pretty ****in' freaky.

_Unfortunately for these poor saps, they had no idea of the man just a few feet behind them. He had managed to catch their little conversation and wasn't too happy with it. He gripped one of his dual Katanas and rushed them. Their bodies were on the floor before they even had a chance to raise their blades. The man before them raised his sword and slinged off the blood stains and slowly sheathed it._

**Samurai:** I have to hurry...

***** Underground Base - Gallery *****

_The gallery was full of men. Mostly snake men, but men nonetheless. And at the very back on a stand there was a young adolescent girl, head bound in a guillotine. Accompanying her was a incredibly large man, bigger than two of a normal man. He was shirtless and in a black executioner hood, right next to the lever that would seal her fate. Next to that was an Orochi generic officer._

**Orochi Officer:** This foolish child is to be the sacrifice to our master Orochi! Because of the foolishness of a mortal man she shall have her head drovin from her neck and her remains boiled! Now, executioner, pu--AH!!!

_The officer's arms began to spasm as his eyes caught sight of his chest now sporting a large hole where his lungs should be, purple smoke rising from the wound even as he fell to the floor like a twitching ragdoll._

**Sima Yi:** Sorry, hearing you reptilian simpletons ramble about how great Orochi is really get's old after a while. Now, I don't suppose you lot know where to find your prisoners, do you?

_Yup, Yi's here too. He could be seen at the very entrance of the Gallery, accompanied by his signature smirk at the tail of the mass gathered before him._

**Random Peon:** I-intruder! Kill him!

_Needless to say, they rushed him.___

_As if on instinct Yi withdrew his chains, swiping down wave after wave of enemies. If this was anyone else they would have checked to see if the girl was okay. But this is Sima Yi, so she could be dead for all he knows. He wasn't really worried about it. That is, until he noticed the executioner charging him at full speed, bashing through piles of his own men just to get to Yi_

**Sima Yi:** This could be a terrible bother...

_Just before the giant man got in range of Yi he reviled his weapon, an axe taller than Zhang He, and raised it up high before slamming it down at him. Luckily he was able to dodge the attack and watched in mild amazement as the resulting shockwave blew away several more peons._

**Sima Yi:** Such a terrible bother...

_It's times like these our anti-hero begins to wonder just how the hell he ended up in this predicament._

**???:** Don't worry, Sima Yi! We got your back!

_Yi looked around to see the face that came with the voice. Nene, blades at the ready to his right. And to his left, Guan Ping, his Young Dragon blade raised for battle._

**Sima Yi:** Oh, right. That's how...

***** Flashback - Xu Chang *****

**Sima Yi:** You wanted an audience, my lord?

**Cao Pi:** Yes. I was very pleased with how excellently you fared in the last battle.

**Sima Yi:** Except?

**Cao Pi:** Except you've still got something I may want even more than expertise in battle. Information.

**Sima Yi:** Ah, you want to know some of the secrets of the Serpent King I managed to dig up.

**Cao Pi:** Precisely.

**Sima Yi:** Hm... One thing does spring to mind. Not far from here, to the south-east, there is a base in Orochi's control. Prisoners Of War base. How many are imprisoned I can't say but it's over a hundred at the very least.

**Cao Pi:** Truly? My spies have reported of no such thing.

**Sima Yi:** That's to be expected. The base is buried underground. However, I have personally been to this base. There are two points leading inside. One in a cave, surrounded by guards and another hidden underneath a statue of a snake. Otherwise known as the "secret backdoor".

**Cao Pi:** Very well then. We march as soon as we're ready. I believe you should lead in this battle as well. Someone has to show them the way, after all.

**Sima Yi:** *unenthusiastically* As you wish.

**Cao Pi:** Good. Now, which generals should we send with you?

**Guo Jia:** Pardon me, my lord, but I may have a suggestion...

_***** End Flashback *** **_

**Sima Yi:** Why Jia would have suggested these two I'll never understand... But he did say he was going to do something I wouldn't like. I had no idea just how much I didn't like it...

**Sima Yi:** Do what you want.

_Yi immediately moved in to attack the executioner. And it's a good thing that he decided to get out his shield because if he didn't use it to block the horizontal sweep the executioner gave him, he'd have been in two pieces. However, the blow was strong enough to send him flying back. Luckily our anti-hero was prepared for this and sent a chain at him to latch around his arm. He had planed to use this to zip himself to the beastly man but he then found he had done it for him! Yi then quickly realized what was about to happen. And boy would it hurt.___

_Sima Yi flue straight toward the executioner and his gut was met with a massive fist, causing a mix of spittle and blood to splatter out of his mouth. But he wasn't done there. He then grabbed Yi's waist and slammed him against the ground, causing him to skid across the floor for a good bit. The man moved to continue his assault but he was halted...by Guan Ping._

**Sima Yi:** *mumbling* Dammit... Of all the people that could have stepped in... I'd rather have had Zhang He!

**Guan Ping:** Sorry, but your fight is with me now!

**Nene:** And ME! :D

**Executioner:** RrrrrRRAAAGGHH!!!

_This time the executioner was the first to strike. Just like before he intended to slam his axe down on Guan Ping. And he did so. But to his surprise the young Guan was able to block the attack with his great blade! Not that he wasn't struggling mind you, but he was doing considerable well. At least well enough for Nene to jolt around behind the executioner and deliver a fierce one-two slash on his back. He leaned back, yelling in pain and anger at the top of his lungs. He demonstrated more anger than anything though as he swung his axe in a complete 360 knocking back Nene, Ping, and the peons too scared to do anything but watch.___

_He followed by dashing straight to Nene, showing off incredible speed. Just as the kunoichi managed to regain her footing she was meet by a power-kick that sent her flying into a wall._

**Guan Ping:** Lady Nene!

_In a fit of rage at the execution for what he'd just done, Ping did nothing but B-line right to him to meet in a deadlock of blades. However, with rage comes power and he showed just how much power by brushing off the lock and slashing his foe's gut a sharp wound. With a blade that size the damage was immense and the pain even worse, even worse enough to send this man to his knees and holding his wound as he fell. Ping was sure he would be down for a while and took this moment to take in a few deep breaths and found he was deathly wrong. The giant stepped up and sent a knee straight to his chin, bashing him a good ways off and directly into the air.___

_The executioner was about to finish the boy while he descended but he had forgotten something very important. Of course, he was reminded as a chain was wrapped around his neck._

**Sima Yi:** Ha! It'll take more than a punch to send me down!

_The executioner growled in pain as the chain squeezed his esophagus and it didn't help when Yi wrapped a second chain around him. He then found himself on his knees and Yi saw this as the perfect moment to finish the giant. He leaped onto his back and began digging his heels into the wound Nene left him. Just a few more seconds of gargling for air that felt like hours had passed and finally, the giant was down for good.___

_Yi slowly retracted his chains and stepped off the back of this mighty warrior. He was tempted to see the face of the man who had caused him so much trouble but upon further inspection of his hood he saw that it was sowed into his very skin. Creepy._

**Sima Yi:** Nene, Boy. Are you dead?

**Nene:** Um, I think my butt's broken...

**Guan Ping:** I'm not sure but I think I lost over half my teeth.

**Sima Yi:** Humph. You two need to spend more time in the field. This was nothing compared to what could have been.

**Nene:** Um, are you sure you're okay? That was a pretty nasty hit you took.

**Sima Yi:** I'm fine. Now, we need to proceed into the rest of the base. The Xiahou brothers are running around here somewhere with all my troops so they've probably cleared out a vast amount of them.

**Guan Ping:** Speaking of troops, weren't the ones around here a little less...dead?

**Sima Yi:** Hm!? What the?

_The three looked all around them. The soldiers that were standing and watching the fight only moments ago were now all dead bodies littered around them. Judging from the wounds they came from a blade but not one of theirs.___

_...Wait. Wasn't there a girl in that guillotine when they first got here?_

***** Outside the Base *****

**Samurai:** Hm. Sima Yi and his friends were so focused on that warrior they didn't even notice me finishing off those troops for them.

**Girl:** Um, Rai-chan? Was that really him? Was he...

***** Flashback *****

_Sima Yi is standing in the middle of a burning village, a sickling smirk smeared across his face as the houses around him were being pillaged. He then let out a chilling chuckle as he turned away from the village, having done his duty as his Orochi warriors cut through this unfortunate village..._

***** End Flashback *****

**Samurai:** Yes. He was the one that destroyed our home. I don't know why he's turned against Orochi. I guess this is all just some game to him.

**Girl:** Hm...

**Samurai:** Ai.

**Ai:** Yes?

**Samurai:** I should apologize. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have been in so much danger.

**Ai:** Well you can't say it's really your fault! I was the one who messed up and got captured after all. That's why you had to fight for that scary old lady.

**Samurai:** Hm. Well, it's probably best to move away from this area. We'll find a town somewhere and rest up for tonight.

_The young girl Ai, gave a nod as she and the Samurai headed off in the forest somewhere. They had their own journey to continue now._

***** Gallery - Yi, Nene, & Ping *****

**Sima Yi:** Well, not like it matters how the enemy died anyways. As long as their dead. But I admit it does peek my curiosity. You two go on ahead and search for our allies. I'll stay here a while.

**Nene:** You got it boss!

_Yi watched as the two exited the gallery and waited a bit longer till they were out of earshot. Then he collapsed on the floor, holding his stomach in pain. That punch drilled him good. It was amazing he was able to hold it together for as long as he did. He waited a few minutes to regain his composure and pulled himself up again and headed after his allies._

_After meeting up with the other two Yi began leading them down the underground base's corridors as they eventually came across the dinning room. And what a sight was there. The small Wei battalion that had been pressing through the base while Yi look for the prisoners was doing quite well. Xiahou Dun and Yuan were at the head cleaving through this room and about to enter the barracks and beyond that barracks should be the prisoner cells..._

**Sima Yi:** I have an idea. Follow me.

_Neither Nene nor Ping had time to ask what that happened to be though as Yi immediately ran back into the hallway they came from and proceeded into the opposite direction. They passed about 3 doors before Yi stopped and opened the 4th. Inside were not put two reptilian officers and some of their troops guarding 2 exceedingly long rows of cells, all filled with potential warriors. ___

_Upon entering Yi drilled the two officers with lasers before they could call for help. Nene and Ping had enough sense to finish off the rest. Yi didn't bother looking for a key he simply ran to a lock and shoot it off with a laser and did so until all the cells were open. The men inside poured out to greet their rescuer._

**Sima Yi:** Attention! I am Sima Yi, your rescuer. Every single one of you are now indebted to me, so if you plan on leaving this place alive grab a weapon and follow me or I'll leave you here to rot.

_Now that was an intimidating speech. Each of the men did so by taking the blades off fallen Orochi soldiers, and some even ripped of studs from the table in the corner to bash people with. Judging from how the handled their weapons Yi concluded that they must have been mercenaries or soldiers at one time. Good. He nodded in approval as he saw all the warriors had something to fight with. Yi moved to the front of the room again and kicked opened the door leading to the barracks. It seems his assumptions had been correct.___

_The main force of this base had amassed in this room, using the beds as a barricade to halt the Wei forces, though they were already banging against it. But his sudden entertain and the prisoners that came pouring in after him left his enemies fear-ridden. And soon, blood ridden as well. He and his new force charged at the enemies and began taking out their revenge against the ones who imprisoned them. With lots, and lots, of blood.___

_Not long after this the door busted open, shattering the half-completed barricade as Xiahou Dun came charging into the fray._

**Xiahou Dun:** Raaagh--huh?

_The Wei force entered the room just in time to see Sima Yi sitting on the end of a bed, legs crossed, sipping a cup of tea with Nene._

**Sima Yi:** What took you so long? I think these fine warriors are ready to join us back at the castle.

**Xiahou Dun:** Uh... Sure. *blink, blink*

***** Xu Chang - Post Battle *****

_Sima Yi had taken back his new and improved battalion to Xu Chang, showing off the new ranks to Cao Pi who was very pleased with the out come of 150+ more warriors and a new underground base to use at their disposal. He saw his allies off as Mitsunari designed an appropriate place to send the new recruits. He tried to slip away back into his chambers but he soon found that foiled as he encountered Guo Jia._

**Guo Jia:** Zhongda, I see the battle went well.

**Sima Yi:** Yes, it did. That base has many advantages for later battles and stratagems. Oh, and the extra man power is nice.

**Guo Jia:** Indeed. Anything else?

**Sima Yi:** You mean of the boy?

**Guo Jia:** I do.

**Sima Yi:** ...He's not as useless as I previously thought he was but--

**Guo Jia:** Hm, hm, hm...

**Sima Yi:** Something funny?

**Guo Jia:** No, no. That was all I needed to hear. I'll take my leave for now. Until next time, Zhongda. *bows*

**Sima Yi:** Of course. *bows*

_And with that Yi returned to his chambers. It was already dusk when he left for the battle so there was no telling what time it was now. Truthfully, he just wanted to get out of sight before some took the time to think about something; all the years Orochi's captured warriors and all he comes back with are 150? Anyone would know there would be more bases like this. 100 more, to be exact. ___

_And Sima Yi knew the location to quite a few of them but going out to try and conquer all of them would just waste Wei's resources. No, he would simply retire for the night and hope that he doesn't have to deal with one of those "honorable" types rambling about how we HAVE to save them. Like that Guan boy. The thought of dealing with that positively grated against Yi's nerves. But now it was time for rest..._

***** Gallery - Midnight *****

_The camera appears and slowly zooms in on the executioner's hood. Slowly, slowly, creeping forward by inches until his shut eyelids are in plan view...and snap open. The Executioner slowly rises to his feet.___

_Fade to black as The Executioner let's out a fearsome war cry..._

***** End of Chapter 5 *****


	6. Chapter 6 Retaking of Chen Gang

**_*** Chapter 6 - Retaking of Chen Gang ***_**

**Sima Yi:** Chen Gang, eh? This will be interesting.

**Guo Jia: **Indeed. I cannot help but wonder whose ingenuity will shine this day.

**Mitsunari:** Well I certainly won't allow myself to lose to you two. I wouldn't be able to show my face in public again.

_Uh-huh, the three brightest minds in the Wei kingdom all on one stage. It had been decided on Cao Pi to see which of these three were truly the brightest in today's battle. When asked why he said "I think it'll be funny". _ With the aid of Cao Ren and Zhang He this fearsome triad were to tear through Chen Gang's defenses while Cao Pi defended the camp. Each strategist had their own plans for this battle, as well as the desire to show off their expertise..._

***** Wei Main Camp - Pre-battle *********

**Cao Ren:** Hm, I wonder why Lord Pang Tong didn't participate in this battle.

**Cao Pi: **He's been petrified for the past week.

**Cao Ren:** Petrified? How?

_*** Flashback ***_

**Pang Tong:** Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talkin' about...

_Within Xu Chang Castle Pang Tong can be seen kneeling on the floor, looking through a hole in the wall found beside a door labeled "Spa Room"._

**Pang Tong:** Oh, yeah... Look at those things flab... Yeah, yeah, go for the suds, go for the suds!

**???: **What are you doing, Pang Tong?

**Pang Tong:** AH! I wasn't- ...Wait a minute.

_Before Pang Tong were both Zhen Ji and Nene, staring puzzling at the hermit.__  
_  
**Pang Tong:** If your here...then...

_And then the door opened...reveling a horrid sight. Xiahou Yuan in nothing but a towl barely covering his junk.__  
_  
**Pang Tong:** O_O

**Xiahou Yuan:** Hm? Oh hey Pang Tong.

**Pang Tong:** O_O

**Xiahou Yuan: **Uh, dude?

**Pang Tong:** O_O

**Xiahou Yuan:** ...Yeah, gonna have a problem here.

_*** End Flashback ***_

**Cao Ren:** ...I really didn't need to hear that.

**Cao Pi: **Then you shouldn't have asked.

_Meanwhile..._

**Sima Yi:** So, who is our enemy again? Azie?

**Mitsunari:** Azai. Nagamasa Azai. He's one of those love and honor types, so he's all against Orochi.

**Sima Yi:** Then why are we fighting him? Is this imbecile so honor blind that he cannot see to reason?

**Mitsunari:** We walked to his castle and said surrender or get your ass kicked, how'd you think he'd respond?

**Sima Yi:** We didn't--! Oh, wait yes we did.

**Guo Jia:** If I may intervene, I believe Cao Pi is about to commence the attack.

**Cao Pi:** Everyone, assemble around me! Know your orders from your superiors and take positions! Today is the day we retake Chen Gang Castle! Sally forth!

***** Later at Chen Gang Wall - Guo Jia *****

_Alone, the famed strategist stood staring at the great wall before him. Sima Yi used to own this castle, he knew all to well the defensive and destructive powers of this wall. Above men were shoving in mounds of clay and rock into a series of wooden devices. This device lead down through the wall to a hole, aiming right at Guo Jia in the center. Upon loading, the contraption fires a fireball out at the enemy. This same fireball was heading straight for Jia who wasn't even trying to dodge it.___

**_BOOM!_**__

_A cloud of smoke filled the air, shortly vanishing to reveal a blue shield and the General Cao Ren who just halted the blow._

**Guo Jia:** Excellently done.

**Cao Ren:** Of course. My shield once fought to keep these walls together. Now they shall be used to smash them down.

**Guo Jia:** Now!

_Upon hearing this command, what appeared to be rocks around Jia were actually tan cloths that covered each fire bow unit arrayed around him, using the Arrow Formation. While the Azai troops were concerned on loading their rounds they didn't even realize the rocks creeping toward them. Now they will reap from their lack of perceptiveness. The arrows fired, the men and their defense all a flame. Jia watched as the flames engulfed the wall, creating a crimson sky above them.___

**_Wei moral is rising!_**__

_A perfect setting for what was about to happen next. The men atop the wall now had two choices: burn, or charge the enemy force head on. They chose the latter as Jia and Ren prepared to deal with the new opposition._

**Guo Jia:** *unsheathes rapier* Hm, I wonder how Mitsunari and Zhongda are handling their ends..?

***** Chen Gang Bypass - Mitsunari *****

_Mitsunari was just now finishing up the first defense of Chen Gang's bypass. As expected the defense were weak here. He was now up against a single Azai officer, flipping him up in the air with an uppercut of his fan and adding insult to injury by turning his back on the enemy with a grin. Enraged, the warrior jumped up. This was a mistake as Mitsunari's fan closed shut and an explosion left off underneath the warrior, ending him.__  
_  
**Mitsunari:** Yes, things are going quite smoothly. A bit too smoothly.

_As if on cue, Azai troops were spotted speeding down the mountain pass at his unit. They were mounted units, cavalry, and about to slice through his troops like a knife through butter._

**Mitsunari: **Ah, cavalry. Normally this would be a problem, but I of course have a trick or two up my sleeve. Please, sit back and relax.

_At a wave of the hand a new unit moved ahead of the Wei troops. A wooden device known as a Spike Barrier. A simple contraption of a wooden rectangle on 4 wheels with spikes in the front. Two rows of them, now blocking the path in front of the cavalry, unfortunately for them, they had too much momentum going. They couldn't stop. They plowed into the defensive array and collapsed before Wei. The head leader could be seen clashing to the ground dead right under Mitsunari's heel, only to receive a smirk.___

**_Wei moral is rising!_**

**Mitsunari:** As you can see, Chen Gang had it's own armory. I'd have been a fool not to take advantage of it. Now, resume the advance and we'll crush Nagamasa from the side! ...And make sure to make it into the castle before Sima Yi!

_Speaking of Sima Yi..._

***** Chen Gang West Gate - Sima Yi *****

**Oichi:** Halt! For my beloved I swear to defend this checkpoint!

**Sima Yi:** Your beloved, eh? Love has no place on the battlefield foolish woman!  
**  
****Oichi:** Perhaps so. That is why I won't feel any remorse when I defeat you!

**???:** EEEEEEEEEEEEKK!!! SHE'S SO CUTE!!!

**Sima Yi:** Oh dear God...

_Before Sima Yi even had time to finish his facepalm Zhang He had already zoomed by and began snuggling against Oichi's dress.__  
_  
**Oichi:** *blush* W-what are you doing!?

**Zhang He:** HO MY GOSH, YOUR DRESS IS SO PRETTY!!!

**Oichi:** Thank you? Um, personal space please...

**Zhang He: **OMGYOUHAVETOTELLMEWHODOESYOURHAIRITSSOSEXYAND--*is lazor'd*

**Sima Yi:** Zhang! Go to the gate and attack the enemy defense forces. Any more of your shenanigans and the reinforcements will arrive! No go!

**Zhang He:** Yes, Master Sima Yi.

_After Zhang He's eloquent leave of skipping, Yi and the woman retook their positions. Yi released his chains as Oichi brought out her kendama. Seeing such a toy on the battle field only further lowered his expectations for this battle. He honestly couldn't help but chuckle._

**Sima Yi:** With a weapon like that, you'd best have a sharp mind to back it up.

**Oichi:** Oh, I don't know...

_Oichi grinned smugly as she slammed down the ball of her weapon at Yi, causing an eruption of tangerine light as it landed. This quick strike managed to knock him back a bit but not enough to cause any damage._

**Oichi:** Mind or not, it always seemed to work just fine in the rest of my beloved's battles.

**Sima Yi:** Ha. I shall bury you in agony. Then see where your beloved gets you.

_Yi now rushed his opponent, knocking away her repeated counters with his chains. This worked until he was directly upon her to send a swift claw slash aimed across her chest. Unfortunately it missed and only succeeded in shredding a few bits of clothing and showing some blood stained skin above her bosom. This didn't appear to sit too well with her as she immediately counter with a bash from her toy.___

_This hit Yi directly on his spine and caused him to knee the ground. Of course, it didn't hurt enough to stop him from jolting around for another slash. This too however was dodged by a backward leap and countered with another sling of her Kendama. Yi saw this as an opening and managed to throw one of his chains and wrap it around the toy's string. He then slung his chain to the earth, causing Oichi to kneel as he quickly jumped over her. Doing this caused her arms and weapon to slip around behind her with Yi. He then began using Oichi's own string to tie up her hands around her back before letting go. Having nothing to support herself, she hit the dirt._

**Sima Yi:** Humph. As expected. Fang! Take her away! She could come in handy if Nagamasa proves to uncooperative.

_Fang, who had been preparing to have Wei's troops construct a barricade, now moved to the downed Oichi and lifted her to her feet. He made sure he had a good grip on her. Doing as ordered he took her back to Cao Pi's camp, neither even saying a word as they slunk off.___

_Sima Yi now turned his attention to the west gate as his troops began to halt the reinforcements. Zhang He had done well to rid the gate of enemies. It was times like these that forced Yi to remember that he wasn't entirely useless after all. He now looked to the gate itself and saw a problem. But he was expecting it._

**Zhang He: **As you can see, we've come across a problem...

_A top the gate was another contraption of Chen Gang, it's last outer defense. A large stone beam with two big balls on each end, spinning around just above the gate at a great speed. It was so long that it prevented anything from going near the gate without being flung away. This device was actually one of Yi's own inventions..._

**Sima Yi: **This installment stops rams from breaking through the door so breaking it down is out of the question. The best thing to do is to use catapults to shoot it down and then move in the rams.

**Zhang He:** Then I will send for--

**Sima Yi:** No. That will take too much time. Jia and Mitsunari would have already been inside by the time we finished. I will find another way. You and I both once defended this castle. Now I must think...

_Several moments had past until Yi finally moved closer to the machine. He eyed it, measuring it's speed. He then remembered that there was a leaver at the top of the gate that halted the invention and opened the gate for allied forces. Now to get to it...___

_He smirked and released his chains, wrapping one around one of the defense's ends. Zhang and the others watched in surprise and concern as he swung around in circles with it. Of course, this was expected. Yi then used his other chain to smack down the Azai on top the wall with great momentum. It was with this same swing his chain wrapped around the leaver, pulling it down as he spun a few more times. He could feel the device start to slow and retracted his chains as he hit the ground, heels skidding up dust clouds as he did so. Soon after, the gates had opened and the device nonoperational._

**Sima Yi:** Yes, I believe that was much faster. Now, into the castle!

_**Wei moral is rising!**_****

***** Chen Gang - Azai Camp *******  
**  
**Kazumasa:** My lord, my lord!

**Nagamasa:** Kazumasa, what is it?

**Kazumasa:** *bows* Lord Nagamasa, the enemy force has broken through the west, have already obliterated the defense force on the bypass, and have set fire to the front wall! The defenses are useless!

**Nagamasa:** What!? But how? How could they have breached our lines so fast? This castle's defenses rivaled that of Odani's!

**Kazumasa:** And also my lord, Lady Oichi...has been captured by the enemy!

**Nagamasa:** My Oichi? In enemy hands? No! We must get her back! Commence an all-out--

**???:** Whoa, there! Now wait just a minute, pretty boy! Don't go wasting your men just yet. I'll tackle the guys that got your woman for you with an ambush!

**Nagamasa:** *sigh* Yes. Yes, you are right. Kazumasa, send the west ward troops to the center and move the reserves to the eastern bypass gate. Prepare for an enemy attack! Gan Ning, I leave the westward enemies to you.

**Gan Ning: ***thumbs up* Heh heh.

***** Chen Gang West Hall - Sima Yi & Zhang He *******  
**  
_Sima Yi and his army proceeded further into the castle, successfully being the first of Wei's officers to step foot in Chen Gang since Orochi's time warp. Zhang He was close beside him, making sure to watch out for any more traps. However, there was a problem. It was quiet. Too quiet. Then it hit him. to his left was a wall designed for ambushes and they were about to go around the corner of that same wall. And to the front was an identical one separating this area from the main camp. Gah, how could he have been so foolish!?_

**Sima Yi:** Ambush!!!

_As expected Azai troops swarmed down from the surrounding walls. Fortunately, the split second the Wei troops had to grip their weapons may have saved well over half of them as they began to hack away at the enemy on instinct._

**Sima Yi:** Zhang, the men! Swing to the back and defend the rear unit! The rest of you bolster up and stay tight! We're in a pincer!

_The soldiers were already doing as told while Zhang He danced across the walkway until reaching the rear, hacking down countless along the way. Yi reached for his fan and was about to physically join the fray but stopped once it was in his hand as he heard a noise. A small jingle, almost soothing. Of course, he'd heard enough about Wu to know that bells on the battlefield meant their number 1 warrior was on the field. The pirate with bells, Gan Ning.___

_He morphed his fan into a sword and swung around just in time to block an airborne strike. If that had hit him, he'd have been cleaved in to. This pirate doesn't play around..._

**Gan Ning:** Hey, that was pretty good! I knew strategist were suppose to act quick but I didn't know it was that quick. Now let's see ya do it again!

_No time for a witty response as the pirate resumed his lightning fast onslaught. Yi struggled to keep up with the sharp edge of Sea Master's blows, almost too afraid to dodge and accidentally shift into a swift counter. He was patient however and managed to last until he saw a weakness and exploited it with his foot to Gan Ning's gut. This made him stagger back, giving Yi ample time to fire a handful of strings. The pirate was able to cut through a few of them but the majority landed in his body.__  
_  
**Sima Yi:** Don't struggle. It only makes the pa--what the!?

_Shockingly, Gan Ning was able to shrug off the needle sharp strings, even the ones in his chest, and rush the stunned Yi as he delivered a knee to his chin that made him do a flip. This flip was good for a counter though as he used the momentum to leap at Ning. This time it was his offensive. Yi began slashing and jabbing at his foe, black blade in his right hand and using the claws in his left gauntlet. Ning could only hope to dodge and dodge as he was slowly pushed back until he met a wall.___

_Normally this would mean the end of Yi's enemy but this one was fast so when he planned to jam his blade into his chest he ended up impaling the wall instead. Ning took this moment to move back in and slash Yi, but by ducking under the impaled weapon, his movement was halted. The swords ground together for a while before our anti-hero retook his handle and strung out his weapon while also forcing his pirate foe to jolt back.__  
_  
**Zhang He:** Master Sima Yi!

**Gan Ning:** Whoa!

_Seeing his ally in trouble Zhang He acted immediately and charged Gan Ning using a C4-like attack. He was able to dodge the attack easily enough but was surprised by how much that thing could have hurt him, as proven by the large 10 line gash in the stone wall. The pirate took a step back as the two Wei warriors surronded him. He then looked to the Wei troops just in time to see them finish off the Azai ambushes._

**Gan Ning: **Tch...

_This wasn't the time to fight. These guys were better than he thought. Ning decided to make a temporary retreat. He gripped his blade and ran diagonally across the wall overhead. Mid way he jammed Sea Master into the wall and used it as a way to propel himself over the top, bells ringing until he was out of earshot.__  
_  
**Sima Yi:** Hm. At least he was smart enough to know when he is outmatch. But still not smart enough to realize when defeat is an inevitability. Men! We return to the march!

***** Top of Chen Gang Wall - Guo Jia & Cao Ren *****

**Cao Ren:** Move it!

**Guo Jia:** Freeze!

_Guo Jia's capture of the wall was the fastest ever seen. In a matter of minutes he was able to connect 3 bridge layers and the Wei forces were already pushing back the Azai troops. Cao Ren could be seen plowing through foes like a bulldozer, shield in front and blade out for total offensiveness. Jia had just casted an ice spell, causing ice shards bigger than his sword to rain down on the enemy as it ended a row of them.___

_Like a flash of lightning and thunder an explosion could be seen to the east gate. As nothing came from the gate and smoke covered the way some Azai troops moved to investigate and prepare for attack. Big mistake. 2 spike barriers then mowed in from the smoke and ash to clear the way and soon following was Mitsunari and his unit joining the way. At this point the Azai moral was lower than dirt and it wasn't too long until they were all cleared away. After joining up with Mitsunari, Guo Jia's unit headed further into the castle. It was there the two forces came across Sima Yi's._

**Sima Yi:** So it would seem we've all made an equal amount of progress into Chen Gang... Tell me, which one of you caused the explosion I felt earlier?

**Mitsunari:** *smirks & raises hand*

**Sima Yi:** Yes, I thought you'd pull something flashy for this battle. Now Jia, I must say I'm impressed. You have done in minutes what Shu's Zhuge Liang could not do in hours!

**Guo Jia:** To be fair, if we had not had your information of this castle I would have never been able to take this wall in such time.

**Sima Yi:** Well, I'm certainly not going to deny that.

**Mitsunari:** Alright, alright, we can praise how smart we are later. With the main camp right through that gate up there I'd like to take it and be on our way already.

_With two consecutive nods the three and their units marched through the gate at a steady pace. Yi, Jia, and Mitsunari were the first to go through this massive gate. They had expected an army but were met with nothing. Before they could conduct a conclusion the gates behind them shut. And just as before Azai troops poured from the walls and further inside the camp. Sima Yi already knew who was behind this._

**Mitsunari:** Wait a minute, we're the ones who fell for an ambush? _Us?_

**Guo Jia:** No need to fret. An ambush is only effective against an unprepared enemy.

**Sima Yi:** And we know exactly how to handle this situation.

_The strategists wasted no time in forming a back to back triangle as the enemy enclosed upon them. This worked in their favor however as light began to radiate off them and electricity connect their hands. A wave erupted from them as they entered a Triple Musou. Sima Yi was now blasting through the crowds with sizzling purple beams that drilled his enemies, Guo Jia was now running at top speed and slashing from enemy to enemy, and Mitsunari was throwing his fan like boomerang in a kind of dancing motion as he proceeded through the enemies.___

_They ended their musou with Yi sending his hands into the air as a Yin-Yang symbol appeared below him that blew enemies away. Jia halted his rampage by holding up his shield as a wave of ice shot out from him that froze his foes on contact before they shattered to thousands of shards. Mitsunari stopped his dancing and flue his fan around him before catching it overhead. He then shut it as a multitude of explosions surrounded him and blasted through the surrounding enemies. Nothing was left alive. Nothing but a pirate with his blade over his shoulder.__  
_  
**Gan Ning:** Now that was something! But it ain't gonna be enough! You see this chest!? *pats chest* Yer gonna have to bust through this first!

**Mitsunari:** Sima Yi, why don't you leave this one to us? The faster Nagamasa's taken down the better.

**Sima Yi:** Hm. Very well. Try to keep this one alive, we could trade him for Wu troops later.

**Gan Ning:** Hey! I'm right here, ya idiots! You think I'm gonna just let you--

_Gan Ning was then interrupted as a giant ice spike rose from the ground directly in front of him._

**Gan Ning:** ...Okay then.

_Yi gave a nod to Jia and headed through a final gate to Nagamasa himself. It seems he was out of troops as there was only the daimyo himself that awaited him. He slowly walked toward his soon to be opponent, examining the architect of the castle. He remembered that he once stood in this very spot as Zhuge Liang's forces entrenched on his position and it had been left up to Cao Ren, Zhang He, and himself to defend it. He felt almost nostalgic._

**Nagamasa:** So you've broken through my forces and even captured my love. But I will not surrender like a coward! I shall fight with honor!

**Sima Yi:** What a brave man calls honors, a wise man calls foolishness. If violence is what's needed to end your resistance then violence you shall receive!

**Nagamasa:** *readies lance* Nagamasa Azai, Lord of Bizen, rises to battle!

**Sima Yi:** Hm. As you wish. *releases chains* Come.  
_  
__Nagamasa did so, lance in front like a mid-evil knight at joust. Of course, Sima Yi was prepared far before the battle even started and he demonstrated so by wrapping both chains around the lance and lashing it into the ground as it dug through the earth. Using the opportunity, Yi rushed his defenseless foe and kicked him high into the air, using his own weapon as a stepping stone.___

_Much to his surprise, Nagamasa was almost completely unphased by this. The young daimyo lifted his lance even higher than he was and sent Yi even higher than that. The force of this caused the chains to let loose and as the pair were airborne Nagamasa sent a volley of thrust at Yi, all of which just barely missed by shifting his body slightly to different sides. After having enough of shifting around, the strategist launched a beam at Nagamasa that sent him towards the ground and Yi higher into the air. Amazingly Nagamasa landed on his feet! But even worse he steadied his lance upwards and readied for Yi to descend. And then he would he would be skewered.___

_However, Yi didn't plan on ending his plans here. He reached to his waist and brought his fan into his hands and morphed it into a halberd. Now he was ready to descend and instead of meeting his end, he meet with a lock of the spears between the combatants, leaving them stationary for the moment until Nagamasa was forced to shrug Yi off and allow him to land._

**Nagamasa:** Most impressive.

**Sima Yi:** Likewise. Well, for a mere pretty-boy.

_Word's were not necessary after this point. A smirk and a grin sled across both warrior's mouths as another charge followed, already meeting in a flurry of strikes that left sparks flying off. Nagamasa had an advantage in power but Yi was faster than your average officers so they were left fairly matched. Yi tried a sweep at his legs but the daimyo managed to skip over it and quickly smack Yi's gut with the base of his lance that made him stagger for a moment.___

_He saw that this could leave him open and turned around and headed back to some stairs that led to the top of the wall he had past not to long ago. He mad it to the top and sliced a stone architect peering out on the edge, cleaving it off and then using it as a projectile against Nagamasa by kicking it back toward him while he was still moving up the stairs.. This took him by surprise but he was still able to move his free arm in front to lessen the blow.___

_Yi used this chance to move in and hammer his enemy, Nagamasa just barely capable of defending himself. Yi was landing a power house of blows on his lance by repeatedly slamming his halberd down against it. He could tell the mans hold would soon break. Surprisingly, he was able to thrust his body into Yi before this happened and pushed him back further to the edge. Nagamasa knew this was his chance to finish it. A faint blue light formed around him as he aimed his lance back farther and farther until he shot off like a rocket.___

_Nagamasa plowed into Yi with great force, great enough to make him break some of the stone on the edge as he went flying off it. Of course this didn't turn out as well as he'd planned when a chain was wrapped around his arm that pulled him away until he caught up to Sima Yi mid-trajectory. It was during this blink second that Yi was able to grab him and position him in front of the flying pair...right before they collided with the adjacent wall. The force of which was strong enough to leave an imprint and knock away Nagamasa's helmet right before they landed back on the ground, this time with Yi going first. By this time, Nagamasa was already unconscious._

**Guo Jia:** Zhongda? Zhongda, where are you!?

**Sima Yi:** Jia! Down here!

_Following the voice, Guo Jia and Mitsunari proceeded up the wall and eyed down to see Sima Yi kneeling on the ground and Nagamasa asleep by his feet.__  
_  
**Mitsunari:** Hey, are you alright?

**Sima Yi:** Fine! Just get some rope.

***** Wei Main Camp - Sundown *****

_Several hours later after the battle, Yi had had some time to recover and the Wei army had taken positions in Chen Gang. The 5 officers that stormed it's walls were now arrayed before Cao Pi with their three prisoners in row.__  
_  
**Nagamasa:** I do not wish to suffer a shameless death. End my life now, honorably!

**Oichi: **I wish to suffer the same fate as my lord.

**Gan Ning:** C'mon, what are you gonna do to me, huh!? Kill me, huh!?

**Cao Pi:** You all wish for death, do you? How appropriate.

_Cao Pi was pacing around behind the bound enemies, sword in hand, slowly and slowly until he came across Nagamasa. It was here he raised his blade and struck quickly...releasing his bonds._

**Cao Pi:** You shall join me in my cause to defeat Orochi and if you shall die then it shall be as part of that cause. Now rise. We have a long march back to Xu Chang.

_Nagamasa rose, stunned for a moment as his allies were untied by Wei soldiers. He had just been indefinably defeated and lost his castle and know he was asked to join his enemy?_

**Nagamasa:** Truly? To so carelessly recruit someone who was your enemy just a few moments ago... Is he foolish or...

_Nagamasa stopped himself. It had just occurred to him how much like his brother that was. This Cao Pi might not be so different from him... He looked to Oichi to receive a small and polite smile, and then to Gan Ning who just gave a shrug at this new found development.__  
_  
**Nagamasa:** I accept, Lord Cao Pi.

***** Xu Chang's Throne Room - Night *****

**Sima Yi:** Lord Cao Pi, a moment.

**Cao Pi: **Ah, Sima Yi, Mitsunari, and Guo Jia too.

**Guo Jia:** Yes, well you never told us who displayed the most cunning after the battle so we were curios...

**Mitsunari:** So tell us. Who's the brightest in the Wei Kingdom?

**Cao Pi:** Isn't it obvious? Me.

**Sima Yi:** ...What?

**Cao Pi: **Well if I hadn't been smart enough send you three to Chen Gang we would have never been able to capture it in such short time. Naturally, I should take all the credit. *exits, laughing all the way*

**Sima Yi:** ...Mother****er!

**Mitsunari:** That arrogant little..!

**Guo Jia:** Well that was certainly disappointing.

**Sima Yi:** That parasite tricked us so that we would fight more fiercely! That's why he thought this battle would be so freakin' amusing!

**Mitsunari:** Rugh! That he would trick us is bad enough! That we'd fall for it..!

**Guo Jia: **Actually that was quite ingenious.

**Yi & Mitsunari:** SHUT UP!  
_  
__Fade to black as the pair continue to bicker for several minutes...___

**_*** End of Chapter 6 ***_**


	7. Chapter 7 Rescue at Midnight

_***** Chapter 7 - Rescue at Midnight *****_

**Cao Pi:** Move, move, move! Take out the center first, we have to clear the way NOW!

_Chaos. That was the best way to describe this sight. Shu was under seige from a barrage of troops from multiple enemy forces and they weren't going to last long. It was straight midnight as the Wei troops enclosed to offer support to their ally. There wasn't even time to go back to Xu Chang when they heard of Shu's predicament, not but a few miles away on the march home. Cao Pi immediately ordered his army to help, not even allowing them time to prepare a strategy. However, Fang and a small troop were sent to Xu Chang to request aid so more reinforcements would not be far behind._

And it was here atop a cliff over head of the plains before them that Sima Yi watched, arms crossed, along side Guo Jia as the newly recruited Azai army tore through the enemy, center out. The one that stood out the most was Nagamasa as he swung his lance around from side to side as waves of men fell to their doom. He seemed to have no problem fighting for a new lord as he drove through a boar demon even.

**Guo Jia:** So, what do you think of our new ally?

**Sima Yi:** He's doing better than I expected. After the center threat is taken care of Shu's camp will be safe and we'll have a moment to pull something together and push back Orochi. Has Mitsunari returned?

**Guo Jia:** No, he's still scouting the area with Cao Ren.

**Sima Yi:** I see. We should hurry up and clear out the remaining enemies then, shouldn't we?

**Guo Jia:** True. Shall we?

**Sima Yi:** *smirks*

_Arms still crossed, Yi nonchalantly walked right off the edge of the cliff and allowed himself to fall as Guo Jia joined him. Before he hit the ground Yi reached for his robe and spread it out to make a makeshift parachute while Jia drilled his rapier into the adjacent wall to slow their decent until both warriors landed. Yi flipped out his chains and immediately began striking enemies and preforming 360's and 180's all the way as Jia followed in suit with his blade, swiftly jousting from one troop to the other._

The pair made their way further in and met up with Nagamasa. The daimyo was busy with a group of officers so he didn't notice the sargent about to slice open his back. Luckily, a five-string attack from Yi managed to stop him dead in his tracks as he stood their, frozen. Nagamasa turned to see what the noise he heard was and watched as the strings released and the man fell to his death, revealing Yi to Nagamasa's sight.

**Nagamasa:** Sima Yi, I must--

**Sima Yi:** Don't bother me with the "thank you" nonsense. Just repay me by following my orders.

**Gan Ning:** *cuts down the final enemy as Oichi and Jia join them* You always were an arrogant bastard, weren't ya?

**Sima Yi:** And you're not the first person to call me that. We're done here. Zhao Yun is inside the camp beyond. We shall met up and await our allies there.

_Nagamasa nodded and the 5 proceeded into the Shu camp. There weren't that many warriors and a lot of them Sima Yi didn't even recognize. The one that stood out the most had to be the old man in armor and his large hammer that was yelling some odd word into the sky. "Cheetos" or something like that. Ignoring him they moved into a Japanese style shrine like the one in Honnoji that served as the headquarters. They entered just in time to see Cao Pi receive a bow from Zhao Yun. Zhang He was also present in the corner._

**Zhao Yun:** Lord Cao Pi, I must thank you and your men for the aid.

**Cao Pi:** You have helped Wei before in battle. I was merely returning the favor, even if our last alliance ended in failure. And if Shu was gone that brings Orochi one step closer to conquest.

**Zhao Yun:** Of course. But we won't have long until the enemy retaliates. We've already learned that the enemy commanders are Masamune Date and Lu Bu.

**Sima Yi:** Masamune?

**Cao Pi:** You know of him?

**Sima Yi:** Indeed. We fought in several battles together.

**Cao Pi:** Heh. If it was anyone else who said that I'd be worried about you holding back. However, Lu Bu worries me more than a hot-headed brat. We need our reinforcements...

**???:** You rang?

_Entering the room was now Zhang Liao, Guan Ping, Nene, Huang Gai, and Pang Tong._

**Cao Pi:** Right on time. Now...

_Following was Mitsunari Ishida and Cao Ren as they moved past their allies._

**Mitsunari:** I wonder, did you really know I was about to come or were you just lucky?

**Cao Pi:** Bit of both. I believe you two have some information to share?

**Mitsunari:** Yes, but nothing good. The enemy forces, they number in the 100,000s. Not including their reserves.

**Guo Jia:** Are you quite sure? That's more than our troops combined have.

**Mitsunari:** Yes, and they have the officers to back it up. They've got Keiji Meada and some warriors from your time in their ranks as well as countless other Date and Lu Bu officers. Not to mention several key locations along the area in their control that need taking...

**Zhao Yun:** Then we must combine our forces and challenge this army!

**Cao Pi:** A bold statement, one that I'm sure would inspire your troops. But we need a plan. And we need to act quick. Pang Tong, your thoughts?

**Pang Tong:** O_O

**Cao Pi:** Thought as much. Oh well toss him in the ammunition pile, I'm sure we can throw him at something.

**Mitsunari:** Right, now some of you come with me and I'll direct you to the places we need taken out.

**Nene:** I'll--

**Mitsunari:** Not you.

**Cao Pi:** Zhang Liao, Gan Ning, you will accompany Mitsunari. Against you two no variation of forces could halt you.

**Sima Yi:** I will take down Masamune.

**Cao Pi:** Yes, I figured as much. Very well. Nagamasa, Guan Ping, Nene you shall cover Yi.

**Zhang He:** I want to--!

**Sima Yi:** No.

**Zhang He:** Ohhh...

**Guan Ping:** Lord Cao Pi, I'm sorry but I must ask that you allow me to fight with Shu and lord Zhao Yun just this once.

**Cao Pi:** You feel you must do this? Hm...

**Sima Yi:** It's fine. I could handle Masamune by myself if need be.

**Cao Pi:** ...As you wish.

**Guan Ping:** Thank you my lord! *bows*

**Cao Pi:** Good. Now there is the matter of--

**Guo Jia:** I will face Lu Bu. And all I ask are for Huang Gai's veteran skills and a handful of explosives.

**Cao Ren:** But Master Guo Jia, you realize the strength Lu Bu possesses?

**Haung Gai:** Bah! Us true warriors can put down a beast like that no problem! Lord Guo Jia, I'm with you all the way!

**Cao Pi:** Hm... Very well. If you are sure. Alright, we've wasted enough time. Oichi, Cao Ren, Zhang He, you shall stay the defense with Zhao Yun and I while Shu's main force keeps the enemy occupied. Now move out!

**Orochi Advance Force - Keiji *****

_In the direct center of the mass of green and white clad warriors Keiji Meada could be seen leaning on his horse like a bed as Matzukaze trodded along in line. The miscreant let out a long sigh. Shu was suppose to be on it's last leg so all this was was mop-up duty. He really didn't understand why he had to be here._

...Of course, it was better than running around Koshi castle bored as a rock any day.

**Keiji:** Maaan. I just wish it was _something_ a little more interesting.

**???:** Mind your tongue.

**Keiji:** Whoa!!

_The "mighty" Keiji had fallen off his steed in shock of the mystery voice. He scrambled around and then peered up at his steed to find it's owner...now sitting on the side of his Matzukaze, arms crossed with that same eerily amused face he usually bears._

**Kotaro:** Least you get what you wished for.

**Keiji:** Argh... You're here too? Now the enemy won't even have time to scream before we take 'em out. :(

**Kotaro:** At the heart of this battlefield, the whirlwind of bedlam shall be at its greatest.

**Keiji:** What do you mean?

**Kotaro:** I think you'll find this battle quite...interesting.

**Keiji:** I'm not following you.

**Kotaro:** ...I mean there will be many strong opponents here.

**Keiji:** ...I still don't--

**Kotaro:** Just grab your ****ing spear and follow me. -_-

***** Forest - Yi Team *****

_The pawns were in play and the battle would begin at any moment. Yi, and Nagamasa were now rushing through the forest on their mounts as Nene trailed them in a tan zig-zag flash from tree to tree. They were making good progress with no peons to wear them down. Their mission was to ambush Masamune and route him, nothing more, so troops would just be a waste. Besides, the front lines need them more than they do. Yes, it was going to be a simple dash to Masamune._

**Nagamasa:** Muskets!

_But of course, how often are things that simple in this story? A few yards ahead of them were two watch posts, housing two pairs of musketeers and a gate between them that prevented access beyond. They were already aiming straight at Yi and Nagamasa. If they fired..._

**Sima Yi:** Nene!

_The kunoichi already knew what to do. With a poof of leafs and a few rustles in the trees she was gone. The remaining two continued to charge the gate unhalted. Yi placed his heels on his steeds saddle and readied himself as he started to outrun Nagamasa. And then..._

Urk, gah, ough, waaaah!!

Above the watch posts four Nene's could be seen where the musketeers could not, all of them striking a victorious pose. Now Yi could move without worry. He waited until he was a bit closer and leaped off the horse and wrapped a chain around one of the left watch post's upper beams. Using the momentum of the horse and the power of the jump he was able to sling around to the other side of the gate. Whilst midair Yi was able to shoot off a handle full of lasers at the surrounding peons before landing right next to the lever that opened the gate and pull it.

**Sima Yi:** Take them out quickly! We can't risk alerting our prescience! And especially don't let them send out any scouts!

_As Nagamasa flew by the barely opened gate Yi was confident he had heard his orders as well as Nene. The base behind the gate was just a small supply base. Actually a good place to stash one. As Nagamasa rode by and plummeled through the green warriors Yi noticed something. These men were not Date soldiers, but Shu troops! But Shu forces had already reported loosing this base. They must have been defectors._

**Sima Yi:** What on earth are these men doing here..? Did Orochi send Shu forces to take down their former allies?

**Peon:** YAAAH!!

_Not__ even bothering to glance at the man charging him, Yi sliced his hand straight through the peon's torso and began walking, inspecting the base. He could see Nene and Nagamasa tear through what little resistance it offered. And then he noticed something at the far west wall. An ox? No, wood oxen._

Four more men now rushed Yi from behind. He heard their clumsy and confused footsteps before they could think of striking and immediately turned around to whip them all down with his chain as a 5th came into view. He was a good ways off. However that isn't a problem for Yi as he sent his chain out again and ensnared the peon before tugging him to Yi. Just before he bumped into Yi he drilled his claws into his gut, going in deep enough to pierce his liver. As the man became spasmodic with pain Yi's eyes caught something. On the opposite walls even more wood oxen lay! With a smirk he let the man drop to his death and moved to them. By this time Nagamasa and Nene were done with their job.

**Sima Yi:** You two, see those supply crates over there? Unload them into these oxen. If we set them back down the path then they can reinforce the front lines well.

**Nagamasa:** Are you sure? I don't think we'd have enough time for that.

**Sima Yi:** Time won't matter one bit if all out men our dead. The oxen can guide themselves, all we have to do is send them on the way. We don't have that many, now get to it!

***** Frontline Conflict - Shu Forces *****

**Guan Ping:** Xing Cai, look out!

_Upon hearing the cry Xing Cai jutted around just in time to see Guan Ping's great blade slam into the ground before a charging Lu Bu generic, creating an explosion on impact that eliminate him. Ping then landed next to the blade and used it to swipe down 2 more enemies before turning to Xing Cai._

**Xing Cai:** Thanks for the help. I feel a lot safer now that you're by my side again.

**Guan Ping:** Of course! It feels good to be back your side, Xing Cai.

**Xing Cai:** *giggle*

**Sargent:** DIE!!!

_Suddenly, two Date troops lunged at the pair about to hack them in halves but then..._

_**Bang!  
Bang!**_****

Magoichi: Hey! I'm the only one that gets to rescue the damsels here! Besides you're too young for her.

**Guan Ping:** Wha-what!? O_o

**Xing Cai:** *blush* Magoichi! How dare you!

**Magoichi:** Sheesh, check out the love birds. One joke and you're already boiling mad! Whatever, we've got more pressing matters on hand. C'mon, little dude! *charges*

**Guan Ping:** I'm not little! *follows*

**Xing Cai:** *sigh* Boys will be boys. _

***** Mountain Pass Outpost - Ishida Team *****

_The sound of crickets could be chirping as this seemingly peaceful part of the Date army eyed the battle that could be seen below its high peak. Few were actually guarding and watching for the enemy. This would soon cost them everything._

A single Date officer was pacing back and forth along the wooden wall he was lazily guarding. He paced and paced but then he stopped as he heard something. Bells. He looked up and didn't even have time to scream as Gan Ning's blade tore through his flesh. He let out a victorious snicker and looked to his right to see Zhang Liao had subdued some enemies on his wall just a quietly. They nodded to each other as they moved further up the base.

They reached a gate that lead further down the mountain. This way lead toward Masamune's advance base, which is where his reinforcements would come from. However they won't be getting very far when they seal these doors tight. They were about to do so when a body suddenly fell before them. They looked up above the gate to see Mitsunari standing triumphantly as the gate slowly, and quietly, crept shut and locked in place.

**Mitsunari:** I think it's about time we let these neanderthals find out where here, don't you?

_He looked over to a large wooden platform that held the majority of the Date troops here as they watched the battle below them. There was a big man with an ax there too. Little did they know that platform was the only thing stopping them from falling to a horrible death. Course, they figured it out real quick when Mitsunari waved his hand and the platform exploded as they all went flying and the platform fell apart._

**Gan Ning:** Whoa-ho! Nice fire works! Maybe signing up with you guy wudin' such a bad idea after all!

**Zhang Liao:** Yes, I agree. Good show Lord Mitsunari. Is this the last outpost?

**Mitsunari:** Yes. After all the work we did neither their reinforcements nor their reserves will be able to enter the battle. Now let's head back to--wait a minute...

_Mitsunari stalled as he saw the rubble of the platform moving. He show an irritated scowl as he saw a hand appear as a man was trying to pull himself back up. And wow was he a big man. He had the hand of a bear and as he began to pull more of himself up he saw the black hood around his head as he got one arm over. Why did he seem so familiar all of a sudden?_

**Gan Ning:** So big-boy survived it huh? Ah well, I got this.

**Mitsunari:** Gan Ning, no!

_He didn't listen as he jumped at the man, impaling his blade deep into his shoulder. This only caused the masked man to growl before grabbing Gan Ning by his torso in a single massive palm...and chuck him behind, off the mountain, sword and all into the rocky side below. The jingle of his bells could still be heard as he free fell out of earshot..._

**Zhang Liao:** GAN NING!!!

**Mitsunari:** Damn it...

_They stared, dumbfounded at what had just happened. And as the man pulled himself up and revealed his mighty axe Mitsunari finally remembered who he was. The one lady Nene blabbed to him about. That executioner... This was going to be a fight for their lives. Well let see what's going on with someone else, shall we? :P_

***** Frontline Conflict - Date-Lu Bu Forces *****

**Keiji:** YEEHAW!!! Let's get some!

**Kotaro:** Purge the land.

_The Shu and Wei troops were flying left and right. Keiji's brute force allowed him to make sweeps across the enemy until nothing was left but a pile of wasted bodies. Kotaro was moving so fast through the crowd you could barely seem him slaughter each and every worthless human mortal that stood before him. However, Keiji still felt...unfulfilled._

**Keiji:** C'mon, where are the REAL men at!?

**???:** Certainly not here!

_Just out of the corner of his eye the wild man was able to see the light blue lightning rush to him before he was able to block it with his spear. Of course, metal and electricity aren't the best thing to mix so he still got the **** shocked out of him. However he was still able to brush it off to see the two before him._

**Yoshihiro:** ...You know I'm right here.

**Ginchiyo:** Yes, but you're brittle bones barely qualify as alive let alone manly.

**Keiji:** Well if it isn't the devil himself! And his spunky sidekick!

**Ginchiyo:** Side-WHAT!?

**Yoshihiro:** *snicker*

**Ginchiyo:** You shut up! I'm going to fry that fool and then we'll see who's the sidekick!

**Yoshihiro:** Then who am I suppose to fight?

_Just then Kotaro appeared before Yoshihiro._

**Kotaro:** Boo.

_Right before power kicking him through a crowd of people._

Utterly ignoring this, Ginchiyo charged Keiji whilst tossing a few lightning balls his way as he dodged 2 and smacked down the last with the butt of his blade. This was costly however as Ginchiyo used this time to flipkick him up in the air. She lunged to follow his course but underestimated his resiliency as he quickly rebound and grabbed her by her arm, spun a full 360, and then slammed her into the ground. The wild one then descended on his foe blade first only to have her roll out of the way before jumping back as they entered a flurry of attacks.

During this time Yoshihiro had recovered and Kotaro was already rushing him. However as he was doing so Yoshihiro heaved his hammer up high before having it come crashing down on the ninja just before he had a chance to strike. Amazingly, Kotaro was able to block the attack with his gauntlets but the force was so huge it caused his feet to sink at least 3 inches into the dirt. the devil lifted his weapon for another blow but was too slow as Kotaro shot him with an orb of dark energy that, once again, sent him flying. This time into a mountain wall.

Dust filled the air after the impact and Kotaro already charged him yet again. This time though he recovered faster. Fast enough to spear through from the dust in a blue arrow-headed flash that sent the Fuma ninja flying back. Yoshihiro now went to do his charge but halted as he saw to clawed hands grab his shouldered and two clawed boots ram into his face like a sling shot. This made him stagger back in pain but he was still able to grab Kotaro by his sash and throw him into the air to set him up for a home run. But before he could complete his swing the ninja disappeared and reappeared behind him as he slammed his hand against the ground as Yoshihiro was engulfed in a purple radiation.

**Yoshihiro:** CHESTOOOOOOO!!!

_This didn't work as he had planned though as a hammer drilled him from the purple light that hadn't even sizzled the devil. This forced him away but wasn't anywhere close to the end as the pair resumed their fight._

Keiji managed to land a fist across Ginchiyo's face this time as he continued with a swing of the blunt end of his pike that sent her falling to the ground, holding her gut for a moment. She quickly tried for another jab to his head but failed as the strike was sidestepped and counter as the wild one flung her away with the blade of his pike. If not for her armor that would have killed her. But it did still hurt. A lot.

**Ginchiyo:** D-damn... Will I let my father down?

**???:** Do not worry, commoners! I'll save you all!

**Ginchiyo:** ...Oh you've got to be kidding me.

**Yuan Shao:** I, the honorably magnificent Yuan Shao, will defeat your enemies! Take this, fiend!

_Yuan Shao then clumsily threw his sword at Keiji hitting him square in the eye with the blunt part of his blade._

**Keiji:** Ow! Dude, what the hell?!

**Yuan Shao:** Ha-ha! I have defeated an officer! Now worship all your bases that are belong to me!

_Upon seeing this display of idiocy Kotaro decided it was time to stop playing with the devil and finish him off by grabbing him by his head and slamming him on the ground. It didn't kill him but he won't be moving for a while. Kotaro then turned to Yuan Shao._

**Kotaro:** Shao, what the hell are you doing in this story?

**Yuan Shao:** Oh noez! Kotaro! Take this, knave!

_Shao once again throw his sword like an idiot at the ninja. Naturally, he knocked it away with a flick of his hand._

**Yuan Shao:** ...****. *dials number*

**Deapthroat:** What?

**Yuan Shao:** I've encounter Kotaro! What do I do?

**Deapthroat:** Have you tried throwing your sword at him?

**Yuan Shao:** Ya, didn't work. Plan B?

**Deapthroat:** ...RUN, BIYOTCH, RUN!!!

**Yuan Shao:** This is not a retreat! But rather a move for my fu--*is C3'd*

***** Forest Outpost - Yi Team *****

Sima Yi: Hm... My idiot senses are tingling. Someone on this battlefield must be truly ignorant in it's purest of forms. Shao must be here. Anyways we've already sent all but 2 oxen's, hurry up! ...Hm?

_Sima Yi was watching as his two subordinates were loading the oxen until he saw a few pieces of cement and dust fall above him. He looked up the concrete wall he was leaning on and saw him. A date ninja had spotted them! Yi's eyes widened as the ninja disappeared out the base._

**Sima Yi:** Spy! Forget the provisions, Nene, go!

**Nene:** Hey! Don't you take that tone with me young man! I'm not doing a thing until you ask me nicely.

**Sima Yi:** ...What?

**Nene:** You heard me.

**Sima Yi:** ...GO AND KILL THAT ****ING NINJA YOU STUPID CONCUBINE!!!

**Nagamasa:** O_o

**Nene:** Eep! *poof*

**Sima Yi:** Nagamasa, we ride!

_Nene leaped gracefully over the outpost's walls and into the thick forest trees with the speed of a cheetah, vying to catch up with the ninja Yi had directed her too. She could hear faint footsteps of the horses behind her as the soon fell out of sound. She was surprising herself of how fast she was moving. She was just barely able to see the green ninja hopping from tree to tree before her but she knew he was there._

**Nene:** Got'cha!

_Apparently, the ninja heard that as he turned around and threw a handful of shurikens at her. Luckily she was trained to move quickly so dodging this was nothing to worry about. Dodging the handful of bombs he just threw, now that was different. The best thing she could do was cover her face and swing behind a tree as the explosion ripped through the bark. She flue onto the ground below from the blast._

**Nene:** Ow! Didn't your mother ever teach you not to play with fire! Hey! Are you listening!?

_Of course he was long gone by now. And of course this pissed off Nene to an amount that no descriptive powers I posses could describe. Well actually that right there about summed it up. Anyways, she split 2 clones of herselves and went back after the ninja, catching up to him in no time. This time she was serious. And a serious Nene is a deadly one. The Date ninja had no idea she was there until one of her jumped ahead at him, missing a slash from her blade and cleaving a tree in half instead._

Shocked, the ninja jolted around to another direction. This wasn't much better as he saw another Nene standing before him on another tree, arms crossed and eyes flamed with anger. He was so startled he didn't even notice the real Nene come flying at him from the side and digging her blade into him as they came crashing down below onto the path, digging up the ground as she rode him for a moment. Satisfied, and sure that he wasn't going to be spying on anything ever again, she pulled out her blades and dusted herself off.

**Nene:** Ah, nothing like a brutal killing to calm the nerves. :D Time to go find the o--huh?

_As Nene turned around she stopped dead in her tracks. Before she could even confirm what she was staring at, something bopped her on her head and darkness engulfed her sight._

***** Frontline Conflict - Shu Forces *****

**Guan Ping:** HUURRAGH!!!

_The Young Dragon roared as he slammed his blade on the ground full force and a blue arrow shaped shockwave traced the ground as it collided with enemies until there was nothing but a smoldering path before him. Magoichi and Xing Cai halted their movements in surprise of this._

**Magoichi:** Whoa, dude! Now that was wicked. ...Not that I couldn't do better I'm just running low on ammo, you know how it is...

**Xing Cai:** I'm sure. _

**Magoichi:** Fine then. Check this out! Oh, and you might want to back up.

_Magoichi kneeled on his knee and began loading and manipulating his gun as Xing Cai and Guan Ping made their distance. He loaded countless rows of ammo from his coat and turned to the white clad warriors before them, nothing but a huge grin on his face._

**Magoichi:** Yeah, time to go automatic!

_Magoichi pulled the trigger hard and steady. Suddenly his one-shot musket began spitting off rounds like a fully automated SMG as he waved it back and forth. The enemy soldiers were mowed down in seconds as their screams of panic ran through the air. Once he saw that the only thing left breathing was behind him he got back up and reloaded his musket before turning to his comrades._

**Magoichi:** What can I say? I told ya so? Nah, that's too light.

**Guan Ping:** Wow...

**Xing Cai:** That was amazing!

**Magoichi:** I know, I know, we can all adore my mad skills and rugged good looks later now.

**Xing Cai:** No, not you! Your gun.

**Magoichi:** My...what?

**Guan Ping:** Yeah, you must have payed a fortune to get a craftsmen to make it that effective.

**Magoichi:** Wha? No! I made it!

**Xing Cai:** Heh heh, yeah right. Like you'd be able to work a gun like that all by yourself.

**Magoichi:** No! I'm a master at this kind of thing! I even helped make Ieyasu's cannon-thingy and believe me you have _**no**_ idea how complicated that freakin' thing is!

**Xing Cai:** Right, of course. Now are we gonna get moving or what?

**Magoichi:** T_T But, but! Agh...fine. Let's go.

_Guan Ping lead the three forward with Xing Cai close behind and Magoichi sulking after them, grumbling something about "ungrateful punks". Their little show actually did a good job of pushing back the enemy forces as they moved further in. Magoichi and the others quickly pulled themselves together and moved forward into battle as they began hacking, slashing, and shooting their way in. They eventually met up with the advance force to find them struggling against the enemy. Too be more accurate, 2 enemies. Kotaro Fuma and Keiji Meada._

**Xing Cai:** Oh no!

_They arrived just in time to see Keiji standing tall above Ginchiyo, about to deliver the finishing blow on the Tachibana lady._

**Magoichi:** I got this! *aims* Adios Keiji!

_He fired his shot and waited for his old buddy's lifeless body to roll over. However a warrior of Keiji's calibur can practically sense danger. He didn't even look to see the bullet he just turned his spear around and smacked the iron ball straight down. He immediately turned to Kotaro who was forcing back Shimazu's hammer._

**Keiji:** Bro, we got trouble!

_Fuma said nothing. Simply turned his head to see the three new warriors that had entered the fray, no sick smirk or grin. Just an unamused stare. He swiped his foot across Yoshihiro's feet, causing him to fall, before bursting forth at Magoichi with lightning speed that left a blur._

The musketeer fired a few rounds at the ninja but with his zig-zagging motions not a one made contact before he used the moment to ram his shoulder against him, full force, that sent Magoichi flying. He then heard foot steps. The boy was charging him. The ninja turned to his new foe and met him halfway as he drilled an uppercut on his chin, taking off some skin and blood with his claws as he dove into the sky.

Now he turned to the final interloper. The woman. He zoomed straight to her and jumped just before collision in order to land a boot on her shield she used to block the blow. The kick was so strong though it sent her flying regardless and probably left a dent in her shield. And now he halted. In a matter of seconds he had three more bodies around his feet as the same glare he had when he began still lurked across his face.

**Kotaro:** How uninteresting.

**Yuan Shao:** *waves cell* I have Pong on this thing! That's always interesting! :D

**Kotaro:** ...You know you just killed a really badass moment there, Shao.

**Keiji:** Kickass, Pong! :D

_Naturally, Keiji and Shao wasted no time in engaging in an epic battle of the pongs. Kotaro could think of no better response than to simply facepalm himself. Suddenly, he noticed something on the mountain. A large dust mound was storming down it and coming right toward them. What on earth was that? They'd soon find out._

***** Mountain Pass Outpost - Ishida Team *****

_Mitsunari rolled out of the way to avoid a vertical strike from the massive executioner. As he stopped her folded open his fan and tossed it at him, hoping to cut a hole in his chest but was surprised as it bounced of his rhino like skin and perfectly back into his hands. He raised up and started running around to dodge another hit._

This time Zhang Liao took his stand against the behemoth and used his blade to send a slash straight down the Executioner's back. He expected this to cause him to back down but he soon found his hide near impenetrable as he brushed it off, and swung the end of his ax to bash Liao away. He charged after him as Liao regained his footing and skidded across the ground as he came to a halt. The Executioner raised his foot high and slammed it down on the general hard. He raised Blue Wyvern in defense and held back the enourmus foot as best he could. But he could already feel his strength weakening.

However he quickly gained it back as a green beam Mitsunari shot from his fan crashed with the Executioner's face. It hurt his eyes a bit as he took a step back and took his foot off of Zhang Liao. He shot two more at his head but was blocked with his free arm, his massive biceps taking the blast for him. The Executioner then rushed the strategist and grabbed his torso before lifting him up in the air and slamming him back down. God, how that hurt like hell. Normally he would end this by crushing Mitsunari's skull but he had learned from before and instead turned and threw him like a baseball at Zhang Liao.

_Liao was somehow able to stop his charge meant for the Executioner midway and catch Mitsunari in his arms. He kneeled and tried to put Mitsunari back on his feet but was forced to stop as he saw the Executioner running toward them once again. Liao griped his blade tight. He knew he had only one shot at this._

The general raised blue Wyvern high and threw it like a javilen at the Executioner. He found it hit his mark as the blade dug straight into his chest...piercing his heart. Liao smirked as the man stepped back a few times, holding his chest. It seemed like forever had passed as he stared at the blade inside his body.

**Mitsunari:** Uh, shouldn't he fall over now and, you know, DIE!?

_The Executioner did no such thing. He raised his gaze back to the pair and let out loud and terrible yell. If not for the sounds of battle clogging their ears, the men below them could have heard it's ferocity. He finally stopped and began taking slow, careful, steps at the two. At this point, he'd already forgotten about the polearm jammed in him._

**Zhang Liao:** That's impossible! You mean cutting through his heart won't even stop him!?

**Mitsunari:** Well if that won't do it, then let's see about blowing him to pieces!

_Mitsunari, now on his feet, closed his fan shut as the Executioner's eyes fell below. He was standing right on top of a cache of bombs Mitsunari had set earlier right as they exploded. He tried to block it with his axe but the explosives were far too close. He was sent flying and landed on his back, almost sliding right off the mountain cliff. The way he landed forced the now blood covered Blue Wyvern to retract upward were mostly the blade was in him now. However even with all this the Executioner was still able to get back to his feet. But this time, it took him a bit longer._

But now Mitsunari and Zhang Liao were out of ideas. They stared in silence, hoping for the voice of some ally to come aid them, anyone. But no, they heard nothing. All they could hear was a jingling noise.

...Wait.

**Gan Ning:** Yippie-kai-ey-mother****er!

_From the abyss of the mountain the one and only pirate, Gan Ning, leaped out from behind the Executioner. The man had no time to react as Gan Ning grabbed onto his shoulder and swung himself around as to impale his Sea Master blade right into his upper-left chest. He stayed there hung on his shoulder to keep him occupied as he looked to Zhang Liao._

**Gan Ning:** Yo Zhang Liao, time to get your blade back don't 'cha think?

_Liao knew exactly what Ning had in mind. The Executioner was backing up and was just an inch from falling off the mountain. He gave a nod to Mitsunari and ran straight to the giant bracing himself as he rammed his shoulder, along with the mass of his body weight, right into him as Gan Ning simultaneously leaped off him with Sea Master and using his own body as a spring board. Mitsunari watched as Ning landed perfectly back on the ground and as Liao and the Executioner went flying off the mountain._

**Gan Ning:** Hell yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about! C'mon, lets go after 'em!

**Mitsunari:** What the-!? Are you insane!?

_Of Course by this time all Mitsunari could hear was Gan Ning yelling "yeehaw" as he jumped off the cliff after them. Mitsunari hesitated a moment before finally deciding to follow after them. How they thought this was a good idea he would never know._

Gan Ning was running down the rocky and slanted mountain he had climbed not to long ago and was quickly gaining momentum. Mitsunari on the other hand took an easier approach and was gradually sliding down the mountain, creating a dust path behind him as his boots skid and shifted from rock to rock.

Further down the mountain the Executioner was grinding down, the rocks digging into his back as he made a considerably larger dust cloud that could clearly be seen by an observant eye in the below battlefield. And standing on his chest was Zhang Liao who had just now ripped his blade from his enemy's body and was now using it to slice it up again. Liao landed in many good hits but even as he was falling the Executioners was not able to regain his footing but could still use his axe and his arm to strike at Zhang Liao. The pair engaged in a melee of strikes as Liao dodged and blocked the assualt while the Executioner pushed passed the pain and went on the offensive, although still blocking the occasional blade with his axe.

It wasn't long until they began to get close to the bottom. Liao could see the battlefield out of the corner of his eye and knew he didn't want to be on this man when they crashed. He looked to his right to see Mitsunari catching up with them.

**Zhang Liao:** Lord Mitsunari!

_Ishida nodded and slide his way further to them until he was right beside the conflict. He waited as the two swung their weapons at the other until he saw an opening. It was then he lunged out from beside them and drilled the Executioner's face with his fan as he flue past them and returned to grinding to the right. Using this opening Zhang Liao swung Blue Wyvern in an uppercut fashion that dug into the Executioner and as he did so flipkicked him unto the air as Liao landed and began his own grind._

It was now when the Executioner was airborne that Gan Ning made his turn and jumped at him to nail him with the strongest dropkick he'd ever got hit with. The force of which increased his decent considerably. Slipping out a smirk the pirate landed and went back to running down the mountain. The three made sure to catch a good view of the monsters crash landing into a pile of his own troops, squashing them all.

Amazingly when the three reached the end of this mountain themselves they however managed to gracefully and perfectly land on the flat surface below. They and the people around them stood for a moment, shocked and in awe of what they just pulled off.

**Mitsunari:** I can't believe what we just did...

**Gan Ning:** Hah hah hah! Now THAT is what I call awesome! High five!

**Zhang Liao:** *hi-5's Ning*

**Kotaro:** Well done, warriors of old. Now we shall see how you fair against...

**Keiji:** The craziest wild cat in town!

**Kotaro:** And the fiendish arts of the Fuma.

**Yuan Shao:** AND the nobility of Yuan Shao!

**Gan Ning:** Uh...ain't'chu on our side?

**Yuan Shao:** Really? Damn. Can I defect?

**Kotaro:** No.

**Keiji:** Hey, I think that'd be a great--

**Kotaro:** No!

**Zhang Liao:** ...Actually you know we wouldn't mind if--

**Kotaro:** NO GODDAMMIT!

_Having enough of this foolish baffling, Kotaro rushed the three newcomers to signal the start of the battle..._

***** Date-Lu Bu Main Camp *****

Masamune: What!? What do you mean our frontlines have been massacred!?

**Scout:** I-I'm sorry my lord! But with the massive Wei reinforcements we've been decimated on all sides! We've lost contact with all our reserve units with the mountain base destroyed and the frontlines--

**Lu Bu:** SILENCE!

**Scout:** WAAAH!!!

**Lu Bu:** Cao Cao was a weakling and his son is no different! If you maggots can't take them and a few Shu renegades down I'll do it myself! Outta my way!

**Masamune:** Hey! You can't leave the camp, you're suppose to be the commander too!

**Lu Bu:** Bah! What good is a commander if all he does is bark orders! I am a man of action! *mounts Red Hare* Hiya!

**Masamune:** Hey! Get back here! Are all Chinese guys like this?

_Ignoring Masamune utterly, the mighty Lu Bu rode out of the camp at full speed, only he and his halberd in tow. He rode until he reached a narrow passage that separated the main camp from the battlefield he so longed for. He wasn't too far to his destination as two pairs of eyes followed him like a hawk..._

**Guo Jia:** Do it now.

_**BOOM!  
BOOM, BOOM!**_****

Lu Bu: What!?

_**BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!**_

_Red Hare began to neigh and panic at the incredibly loud sounds that rang through the horses eardrums. Lu Bu was too busy trying to figure out what just happened to even think of calming the steed down as he looked forward to see a rockslide come through in the narrow walls that sealed off his way forward. He then jerked behind to see another pile come down behind him to prevent his retreat. Now he knew. It was a trap. He dismounted Red Hare and sent it as far away as possible as he scanned above for an ambush._

**Lu Bu:** You! I know you're there! YOU DARE TRY TO TRICK THE GREAT LU BU!!! Come out so I can impale you!

_Above the valley..._

**Huang Gai:** He's calling for you. Don't worry! Together we can annihilate him!

**Guo Jia:** ...Huang Gai, may I have one of your more potent bombs?

**Huang Gai:** Of course!

**Guo Jia:** Thank you. *puts it in his robe* Now light the signal for Lord Cao Pi. I shall deal with Lu Bu. Alone.

**Huang Gai:** What!? But Lord Guo Jia--!

**Guo Jia:** Do not fret Huang Gai. I have a plan. *smiles*

**Huang Gai:** Very well. You've never disappointed before.

_The warriors nodded to each other as Huang Gai went to do so. Guo Jia readied himself and equipped his shield and rapier. He looked down below at the impatient beast below and threw down a rope he'd tied to a sturdy rock before. He then used this to slide his way down to Lu Bu. As he landed he slowly walked to the much taller warrior and eyed him coldly._

**Lu Bu:** ...This? This scrawny man is all that stands before me? You dare waste my time!

**Guo Jia:** I may appear like an inadequate fighter, but I believe you'll find I have a few tricks up my sleeve. Like this.

_Lu Bu raised an eyebrow at this as Guo Jia aimed his shielded hand at him and a wave of ice flue out at the warrior like a blizzard. At first he was able to stand his ground but it didn't take long for the ice to take effect and blast him into the pile of rock that blocked the way to the battlefield. Jia saw this as an opportune moment to strike and he did so, rushing straight to the downed Lu Bu. However, he underestimated the rate that he'd recover. Just before he was in range to use his rapier Lu Bu arose to his feet and used the butt of his halberd to C2-uppercut Jia into the air._

He continued the counter by grabbing Jia's ankle and slamming him down on the ground before him. He would have finished it off with the jab he used at Jia next but he was somehow able to roll out of the way of the razor sharp blade. He immediately got to his feet...only to be close-lined by Lu Bu. As he did this Jia's chin was hooked onto his arm as the beastly man ran forward and then released him, sending Jia right into the opposing rock pile. As he hit some of the rocks shifted but luckily none fell down.

He didn't waste time opening his eyes at this point. He already knew Lu Bu well enough by rumors to know he was planning another attack so instead he raised his shield. Good call as Lu Bu's fist collided with it. This would have torn a normal man's knuckles apart but to Lu Bu this was nothing. He followed with a twirl of his halberd that Jia had to duck to avoid but since he made a full 360 he was able to use the other end to bash the strategist into the valley wall.

However this motion caused one of the more higher rocks to fall at Lu Bu. This didn't pose a threat though as he shattered the rock with one swing of his blade. Thankfully though, this was all the time Jia needed to send an ice shard straight into his back. Naturally, this got Lu Bu pretty pissed. But he wasn't as mad he'd usually be when he turned around and saw Guo Jia kneeling down and clutching inside his robe painfully.

**Lu Bu:** Hah! What's the matter? That last attack too much for you?

**Guo Jia:** *cough* Yes, that last was...rather good. But!

_In less than a second Jia impaled his rapier in Lu Bu's right leg with his free arm and jumped up, latching his arm around Lu Bu's as he revealed the now lit bomb from his robe._

**Guo Jia:** I think this one will really blow you away.

**Lu Bu:** What the hell!? Get off of me!!

_Lu Bu shooked and shooked and pushed Guo Jia as hard as he could but the smaller man's hold was impeccable. He absolutely couldn't shake him off! And with a sword in his leg he really couldn't move from that spot so he was stuck there with Guo Jia and a bomb. He could actually hear the fuse getting shorter at this point. Lu Bu then stopped pushing and started punched Jia in his face mercilessly._

**Lu Bu:** Are you insane!? That blast will kill you too! MOVE DAMMIT!!!

_But it was too late. The fuse was gone. He paused for a microsecond that seemed like hours...hours of his impending doom. And then..._

_**BOOM!**___

It went off. Lu Bu was so close to the rock formation he actually blew straight through it, clearing a path. Jia on the other hand was facing the opposite direction so he was sent straight across the valley into the adjacent rock pile. He crashed hard into the rocks and slide down on his backside.

Lu Bu was now lying on the ground, freed from the imprisonment the rocks presented but in immense pain. To make matters worse the sword was still jammed into his leg. As it turns out the bomb was softened by his armor so he was still alive to feel the agony. Growling in his torment Lu Bu reached for the rapier in his leg and ripped it out as fast as he could, tearing out a scream with it.

**Lu Bu:** AAARRGH!!! DAMN THAT PATHETIC FOOL!!! TO THINK THAT A WEAKLING LIKE HIM COULD DO THIS TO THE GREAT LU-agh!

_Apparently, the blast did a number on his side too as yelling made that hurt. Snarling and showing his teeth Lu Bu through the sword straight at Guo Jia. Fortunately his aim was off and the blade landed just beside his head, mere inches away._

**Lu Bu:** Tch. Whatever, probably dead anyways. All he had was a robe to protect him.

_Lu Bu, unable to walk, called for Red Hare who somehow survived all this and moved toward its master. He pulled himself up atop his steed with nothing but sheer upper body strength. He was too hurt to go into battle now. He would have to get his revenge against Wei later. For now he weakly rode his majestic horse out of the battlefield..._

And meanwhile, Guo Jia lays utterly motionless as his body rests against the rocks behind him. His eyes were shut and the sword still dug in beside him. He didn't even seem to breathe until a sharp gust of ice cold air ran past him that pierced his lungs back to life as he took a long deep breath and began panting. He looked at his hands to make sure this was his he was looking at and not his spirit's.

**Guo Jia:** Fascinating... Hm?

**Huang Gai:** L-lord Guo Jia! I heard the bomb go off and I came back to see you lying here and I feared the worst. Are you alright?

_Jia took a moment to look at himself. His robe was shredded from the blast and he had a great deal of bruises and cuts to match them. He then saw that his blade was embedded beside him. He also realized that Lu Bu was gone. With a soft smile, Jia rose to his feet and released his blade._

**Guo Jia:** Yes, I just...need to rest when we get home. The bomb went off a bit closer to me than I had wanted it too but Lu Bu has retreated, for that much I am sure.

**Huang Gai:** I'm relieved to hear that! But you still do not look that well. I lit the signals and lord Cao Pi should commence any minute now. We've done enough for this battle. Let us return to base.

_Jia nodded and followed his ally. But as he he did so he looked at the hand he had held the bomb in as it exploded. It was perfectly fine. Not even so much as a smudge._

***** Forest - Yi Team *****

_Meanwhile, Sima Yi and Nagamasa rode after Nene through the forest at full pace. Upon hearing the shriek that they knew for sure was hers, Yi had ordered them to move as quickly as possible. They moved in closer until they came across a single warrior. A tall man, holding a long polearm. ...And standing above an unconscious Nene. Yi and Nagamasa immediately dismounted to meet the new opposition. Yi was the first to step up, snarling._

**Sima Yi:** If she's dead, I guarantee I'll have you screaming for weeks.

**???:** She is only unconscious. Lord Zhuge Liang has ordered me to defend this area. He had thought that there may be a covert unit moving along the path and it seems he was right.

**Sima Yi:** Bah, as I thought. I knew he was behind this opposition.

_The man reached down with one hand and lifted up Nene before tossing her Sima Yi's way, easily catching her. She was fine._

**Sima Yi:** I should have expected you wouldn't be able to harm a woman, Guan Yu. Despite what that rumor about Diao Chan may suggest.

**Guan Yu:** Humph. I'll give you one chance to leave without wound.

**Sima Yi:** And you know I can't take that chance.

**Guan Yu:** Very well. Prepare yourself!

**Nagamasa:** Wait! You are the one claimed "God of War", correct? Lord Sima Yi, please, let me fight him.

**Sima Yi:** Sure, what do I care? Just get him out of the way.

**Nagamasa:** Thank you. Lord Guan Yu, I, Nagamasa Azai, challenge you to a duel!

**Guan Yu:** As you wish. Let us begin!

**Nagamasa:** Hurrragh!!

_Nagamasa saw that Guan Yu was ready and charge similarly to his final attack on Sima Yi at Chen Gang. The blue iffenities irradiated off him as he plowed through Guan Yu, knocking him back a ways even as he guarded with Blue Dragon. The war God however still landed on his feet just as well and countered with his own charge, almost gliding forward as he spun Blue Dragon in front of him, the blade creating sparks against Nagamasa's lance as it drilled it repeatedly._

Eventually Nagamasa's guard broke and left him open as the end of Blue Dragon slammed into his gut and then followed by lifting him up and ramming him back on the ground hard. Naturally, this left him down for a while. Guan Yu raised his blade and twirled it around above heard for a while until he struck down with all his might.

However, his blade met only dirt as Nagamasa moved out of the way and quickly began slashing with his lance that made the war God jump back to avoid. He got up and charged again as he and Guan Yu entered a flurry of blade on blade action, each man striking with their weapons with inhuman speed. Nagamasa jabbed his lance at Guan Yu only to have it blocked time and time again, sparks razing from the clashes until one jab landed into his shoulder.

_this didn't block the Shu warrior like he had intended. Guan Yu had taken enough blades to withstand a little poke and drove Blue Dragon across his chest that left a large wound, blood already dripping from it. What Guan Yu didn't realize though was that Nagamasa could take just as much as he could and proved it by slamming his shoulder into him as he flue straight into a tree. He hit so hard he stood in place for a moment before sliding to the ground._

And if he had stayed there any longer he would have been skewered as the daimyo's lance could be seen impaled in the tree where his head formally was. Unfortunately now his weapon was stuck and Guan Yu took this moment to strike with Blue Dragon. Time seemed to slow as the blade of the war God's weapon came toward his skull. He would have lost it if he hadn't caught a second wind and forced his lance straight out the side of the tree, blocking the blow and dealing a slash to his arm yet again before they entered a deadlock.

Suddenly creaking was heard as they soon saw the tree was falling right at them! They quickly broke the lock as the bulky wooden plant fell before them, blocking their way to each other. They stopped and breathed heavily as they stared at each other. Surprisingly to Nagamasa, Guan Yu stepped out of his battle stance.

**Guan Yu:** Well done, lad! You have fought well! You may pass.

**Nagamasa:** May-*pant*-pass? You forfeit?

**Guan Yu:** I am too wounded to continue fighting. My arm is nearly broke. You have won, Nagamasa Azai.

**Nagamasa:** Well-*pant*-it was a good duel then.

**Guan Yu:** *nods and limps to his stead, clutching his shoulder as he mounts* I take my leave! *rides off*

**Sima Yi:** Humph. I didn't expect him to finish the fight. Still, well done Nagamasa. Guan Yu is not an easy foe to defeat.

**Nagamasa:** You flatter me. But, his name was "Guan" correct? Isn't there a young warrior here with that name?

**Sima Yi:** Guan Ping. Yes... Nagamasa, I believe it prudent to not mention this to him, or anyone else for that matter. It would simply cause unwanted drama and I'm sure no one here wants to deal with any of that.

**Nagamasa:** I see. I will do as you ask. What about your love?

**Sima Yi:** ...My what?

_Nagamasa points to Nene, still cradled in Yi's grasp._

**Sima Yi:** What, this thing!? *drops her*

**Nene:** OW!!!

**Sima Yi:** No such thing exists between me and her.

**Nagamasa:** Oh, er, sorry I just assumed from your reaction when you saw her and the concubine remark...

**Sima Yi:** No. -_-

**Nene:** *gets up* Ow... Why is it every time I fight I hurt my rear end!? So what happened while I was out?

**Sima Yi:** Nothing. You two get ready, we'll be upon the main camp soon. I want to finish this now.

***** Shu Main Camp - Cao Pi & Zhao Yun *****

Cao Pi: There's nothing quite like turning a battle completely around, is there? Guo Jia has lit the signals, fire the catapults and the cannons! Annihilate the enemy!

_Before the battle it had been Guo Jia's plan to close off the Orochi forces escape route with bombs since the only way past the battle field was through Shu's camp or through Date's. And the way to the Date had been sealed in an ambush against Lu Bu. The Shu forces made sure to fall back as the Orochi forces pursued and once they got as close as they could, death from above._

However the Shu and Wei forces both would have taken considerable damage if it hadn't been for Sima Yi's provisions keeping moral up. Jia had expect Lu Bu to move out earlier than he did and could have lost some good men.

**Zhao Yun:** Uh, Lord Cao Pi, you do realize Pang Tong is being loaded onto the catapults?

**Cao Pi:** I do.

**Zhao Yun:** Just checking.

**Pang Tong:** O_O

**Fang:** Fire!

**Pang Tong:** O_O *takes down 4 officers on impact*

**Cao Pi:** Huh. Took down more than I thought he would.

***** Frontline Conflict - Orochi Forces *****

_Kotaro stopped just in time to watch a rock from a catapult slam the Executioner to the ground as the Shu and Wei forces turned around and began decimating the Orochi army. How the hell that beastly man could survive all that not even he knew._

The Ishida team had already retreated back to set the attack as Kotaro and Keiji tried to survive the doom raining down on them. As for Yuan Shao, no one really knows what happen to him but then again no one really cared where he went anyways.

**Keiji:** Whoa. We're gettin' creamed! And not in the good way!

**Kotaro:** There's a good way for that?

**Keiji:** Uh...

**Kotaro:** ...Disgusting. Nonetheless you are correct. The mortals won't be able to last for much longer. You'll have to retreat if you want to survive.

**Keiji:** Yeah, probly. Buuut, that doesn't mean we can't give 'em something to remember us by, huh!? Whad'a'ya say, Fuma?!

**Kotaro:** *smirk* The wild ones strike.

**Keiji:** Hell yeah!!! RAAAAAGGH!!!

_The wild ones ran headlong into the Coalition force, side by side, as they drilled straight through their lines. Blood and guts spattered in the night sky as the pair hacked, slashed, and bashed through anyone stupid enough to come against them. Side by side they pushed on and on until they couldn't even see their allies. And of course, this meant they were surrounded._

Like that matters. They immediately moved back to back and let come what may.

Kotaro cut down 2 foot soldiers like butter, the first sign of the on coming slaughter. Another rushed him only to slam against the ground by a sweep of the ninja's boot as two more followed, spears aimed. However Kotaro was easily fast enough to dodge the spears, catch them under his arms, break off the blade, and then pierce it through the hearts of its respective owners before grinding his heel down on the former soldier's neck as a satisfying crack ripped through the air. Now he just couldn't help but smile at that.

Keiji was tearing down rows at a time. 3 would run toward him, and 2 of the 3 would get cut down while the final got smacked by the end of his spear, sending him further into the crowd. Once this happened a few times you'd think they'd learn but apparently people weren't that smart back them. The wild cat slammed his spear into the ground as a shockwave sent a row of them flying off and following up with a 180 twirl that hacked down nearly half a dozen men.

_Keiji continued with his assault, only growing more and more brutal as he fought on. He laughed heartfully as he jammed his pike into an officer, digging into his gut and ribs. He then flung his weapon upwards as the officer went airborne and waited. When he started to come back down Keiji hooked him in between the two prongs of his spear and used all his might to drive him into the earth. Needless to say, what's left of that guy was little more than a bloody mess._

Kotaro dug his boots into the faces of several men this day, whipping his arms across those to far reach as he felled countless rows. 2 more leaped at him only to met their end as Fuma caught them by their necks, slamming them to the ground as a 2 matching purple cylinders irradiated from their bodies as they were destroyed right under him. He then slowly looked up at the men before him, his cruel visage now engraved in the minds of countless men. He quickly arose and stretched his arm to a single soldier, grabbing him by the head as he was pulled up close to him. He admired the mans eyes for a moment...before his gauntlet shined blue and his skull was crushed in an instant. He smiled once more as the body fell.

Fuma looked directly at his prey, all of them shivering in fear of his and Keiji's might. They were all beginning to back away slowly. The pair looked back at each other in the corner of their eyes and each took a fast step forward. This was more than enough to cause the enemy troops to flee in terror. Kotaro was about to pursue after them but stopped upon noticing the bomb just below his feet.

**Kotaro:** Mitsun--

_**Boom!**___

The blast was strong enough to send the ninja zooming back through the air and it did so. Luckily though he was able to recover and land on his feet as he skidded across the field. He looked up to see Mitsunari and Zhang Liao staring him down.

**Kotaro:** And the pirate as well.

_Fuma looked over to Keiji who was now under attack from the one and only Gan Ning. They both seemed to be enjoying that crazy fight. But then he stopped for a moment and raised his left gauntlet as he blocked a tri-spear from behind._

**Kotaro:** The Crimson Samurai of the Forgotten Age.

_Yukimura pulled his spear back and readied himself as his friend, Mitsunari, and Zhang Liao rushed to his side. Kotaro turned and waved his fingers in a "come on" motion._

**Kotaro:** Let's make this quick. I have somewhere to be.

***** Forest - Yi Team *****

**Sima Yi:** It's almost time.

_Sima Yi rode along, his allies in tow as they reached the end of the forest. The forest was above level of the enemy main camp so when the three burst forth from the trees they landed in the middle of the base, already hacking down and slashing up everything as they ran by on their steeds. By the time a Date scout had time to yell "enemy ambush" they had already killed 1/4 of it's inhabitants._

**Masamune:** What the hell!? G-get the rifles, now, NOW!!

_**BOOM!!!**___

Masamune's whole world nearly just shattered as he looked upon his weapons and ammunition storage. All of it was in flames, all of the countless guns he brought in to battle gone. Sure there were a couple of his men running around on fire but his guns...

**Masamune:** Hm?

_Masamune noticed someone tapping on his shoulder. Curious, he turned to look and found his eyes locked with the center of Sima Yi's palm. The strategist couldn't help but smirk as a purple beam erupted into Masamune's face, sending him flying and his helmet going off._

***** Frontline Conflict - Orochi Forces *****

_The wild pair and their 4 enemies were in flurry of lightning fast strikes that no normal man could ever hope to keep up with. Keiji on Ning and Yukimura and Kotaro on the other 2, all of them were moving around the battle field trading opponents and blocking for the other in perfect unison. Truly a sight to behold. Even more so that the pair could hold off against this onslaught._

Suddenly amidst the flash of steal and sweet, Kotaro halted all movement. He raised only his right arm and left leg to block the on coming attacks as if they were nothing.

**Kotaro:** The winds beckon.

_Without another word the Fuma ninja disappeared into the night as Keiji pulled off his attack._

**Keiji:** Oh yeah, you know, I'm fine! I'm only outnumbered and behind enemy lines, nah, I'll be okay. You go ahead and leave me behind, Fuma! ...Douchebag. Now how'm I gonna get outta here..?

***** Date Main Camp *****

Sima Yi: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

_Sima Yi was laughing like a punk as Masamune tried his damnedest to hack him in two with his saber. Yi was easily able to dodge the helmetless Masamune thanks to his hotheaded anger preventing him from focusing. Whether he actually thought this was funny or he just wanted to piss Masamune off remains to be seen but either way Masamune had had enough as he pulled out his pistols and fired right at Yi._

Of course, he soon stopped when they started to ricochet off his shield. Masamune stopped and panted hard as Yi morph his shield back to a fan.

**Sima Yi:** Ah, Masamune. I always wondered if all that hot air and bluster was from a skilled young mind, or just a snot-nosed kid. I now see it is certainly not the former. You can't even touch me! Ha ha ha!

**Masamune:** SHUT UP!!!

_Masamune immediately began firing upon Yi once again. Only this time instead of blocking he slid around the line of fire and right next to Masamune, his hand on his chest as a laser blew him off a distance, forcing him to drop his guns even._

Weakly, the Oshu Lord raised his shivering hand from the dirt and tried to reach his gun...only to have Yi's foot come crashing down on it, cutting him off. He looked up just in time to see Yi's black sword at his head as Nagamasa and Nene joined them, having finished up the Date defense troops.

**Nagamasa:** Shall we tie him up?

**Nene:** Actually I happen to have some handcuffs you can borrow! :D

**Sima Yi:** ...A bit disturbing, but it works.

_Yi turned to Masamune and began fiddling with the metal cuffs, trying to understand how these things worked without having to ask one of them. Not like Masamune was going anywhere. He almost had it but stopped as he heard 2 consecutive thuds and then 2 more separate, louder thuds. He turned back around to see a much taller man standing over the unconscious Nagamasa and Nene._

**Sima Yi:** Kotaro!?

_Yi only had the time and speed necessary to dodge the first 2 unprovoked fist the Fuma sent his way but couldn't halt the knee to his torso that sent him flying and crashing to the ground. Fortunately he was able to recover quickly and get back to his feet._

**Sima Yi:** What are you doing here!?

**Kotaro:** Sometimes I'm not even sure why I go to places. The winds of bedlam direct me as they please.

**Sima Yi:** So...you intend to live up to the promise you made so many nights ago.

**Kotaro:** Precisely. Now show me your darkest thought!

_Yi morphed a shield and charged at Kotaro full speed as he did the same. When they met time seemed to slow as Fuma made the first strike, his shining blue fist just barely missing Yi's skull as he moved to dodge. As he did so Yi slung his claws across the ninja's gut, unable to hit anything but a few chains as he preformed his own dodge. However before they finished passing each other Kotaro spun around mid-dash and drove his left fist at him only to have it blocked by Yi's pitch black shield. Time reverted to normal as the completely passed each other and skipped across the dirt ground to turn back around._

Both stared at each other for a moment as Yi's fan morphed to normal and he holstered it on his waist as he released his chains as replacements. Kotaro on the other hand cracked some of the bones in his knuckles. They charged once again. But this time Yi had a plan and before Kotaro was in range to attack but already readying himself for one, Yi threw one of his chains at him. As Kotaro's fist became open Yi wrapped his chain around it and steered Kotaro around him as he rammed his heel into his back to force him against the ground.

As he was in this position Yi stood on top of him and grabbed his fan with the hand that didn't handle the chain and morph a spear. He raised it high and thrusted it down at Kotaro's head, mere inches from impaling it just before he stood up to headbutt Yi's chin. The headbutt was strong enough to send him into the air and he was high enough for Kotaro to use his chains against him. He swung his arm down and with it Sima Yi into the dirt as the chains released. He continued by stomping his foot into Yi's spine twice before he was able to roll out of the way and get to his feet.

**Sima Yi:** Dammit...that last tussle really hurt...

**Kotaro:** How dull.

**Sima Yi:** Dull? Ha! Let's see how dull you think this is! It's a little something Masamune inspired me!

_Sima Yi aimed his spear at Kotaro as the spear turned into a musket! He took but half a second to smirk his trademark grin before unloading onto Kotaro, bullet after bullet zooming after him. However this was even less effective than a firecracker. By a mix of amazing speed and inhuman precision Kotaro had caught every single shell fired from Yi's pitch black musket._

**Kotaro:** ...

_Fuma chucked back the bullets as Yi caught them in a single hand, remorphing them into a sword and sheathing it. Though, he made sure to snarl while doing it. Well that didn't work. Before he could think to try something else Kotaro was already in front of him and Yi was already dodging blows. However he had had enough of dodging and the pair entered a full on melee of fist to fast to describe. Neither side doing much better than the other. But in a swift movement of his chain Yi was able to sweep the metal coil along Fuma's feet that sent him to the ground. Now he had him. Yi took out his sword and embedded it down at Kotaro. However, he disappeared and the only thing the blade met was the cold hard earth._

**Yi:** What!? Where did he--urk!

**Kotaro:** Any last words before I sever your spine?

_The ninja had reappeared behind Yi in the blink of an eye and now his claw was pressed tightly against his back, dead center, where his spine was. Yi was unable to move...or so he thought._

**Sima Yi:** Just three.

**Kotaro:** Amuse me.

_Yi quickly and steadily wrapped one of his chains around Kotaro's neck..._

**Sima Yi:** GO TO HELL!!!

_He used all his might to force his chain forward, almost tipping himself over in the process as Kotaro was sent flying into the still flaming ammunition pile. Yi checked his back to see he was perfectly fine. It's a good thing that worked...but would flames be enough to finish of him?_

Meanwhile in the flaming rubble Kotaro began to think to himself, utterly ignoring the sneering flames around him...

**Kotaro:** _Never have I been so close to death. That little maneuver almost snapped my neck... How interesting._

_Yi looked around to see where he would appear next. He was surprised when he saw the ninja leap out of the flaming wreckage completely unscathed. He was even more surprised as he was Kotaro keep going higher and higher in his jump...and that he was a setting duck. Yi immediately shot his chain at him and as expected he grabbed it and jerked Yi up to his level._

As they clashed in mid air Yi's sword was met with the cursed steel of Kotaro's gauntlets. He broke lose his chain and used his freed hand to jab the ninja's gut, his claws just about to enter his flesh as he disappeared in a dark flash. Now Yi was stuck in mid air, awaiting the next attack. It came quicker than he expected.

Kotaro now entered a cycle of appearing and disappearing around the airborne strategist, smacking and bashing him around in several places. Luckily after the first few licks he was able to predict his moves and block and dodge the blows as they decended. Kotaro began teleporting around him rapidly as Sima Yi now started to counter the blows, spinning round and round as they fell and fought. It was moments away from when they hit the ground that Yi was able to grab him, forcing him to stay in place as he drove his sword down...straight into the dirt. Kotaro had disappeared just before they landed, evading the attack. Yi calmly stood to his feet as he began to hear the Fuma's voice crawl into his skull, however he was no where to be seen.

**Kotaro:** Well done, Sima Yi. More than once this night you brought me close to eternal darkness. As your reward, the winds shall blow elsewhere for a time. For a time.

**Sima Yi:** Pfft. Masamune?

_Ignoring the fiends final words, Yi immediately turned to where Masamune was kneeled on the ground. Note the past tense in that last sentence._

**Sima Yi:** Right, of course he ran off.

_He latched his fan back around his waist and walked to his still unconscious comrades, looking down at them. Right before he kicked both of them in the center of their faces._

**Sima Yi:** Get the hell up or I'm leaving you here!

_Naturally the both jumped up, Nagamasa holding his nose and praying the boot mark wouldn't stay for long. Nene on the other hand..._

**Nene:** Sima Yi! How dare you kick a lady! In the face!! Do you not have any manners at all!? I should spank you until your hiney turns red!!! :O

**Sima Yi:** I, uh...fine whatever, *mumbles something incoherent yet similer to the word "sorry"*. We're returning to camp.

**Nagamasa:** But what happen to Masamune? And how did we end up on the ground?

**Sima Yi:** I'll fill you in on the way. For now, the enemy commander has retreated. This battle is over and we are the victors. We ride.

***** Koshi Castle - The Next Day *****

_It was almost sunrise as what was left of the Date and Lu Bu army returned home, wollowing in their defeat. Everyone was down in the mucks. Well, except for Keiji of course, who was now resting on a stone snake statue just beyond the castle courtyard with architect long enough for him to lay down on. He rested his head against his hand and yawned as he watched the rays from the sun starting to peer over the grounds of the castle. His eyes slowly rolled over to the demonic Fuma ninja who had just appeared next to the statue._

**Keiji:** Mornin', Fuma.

**Kotaro:** I see you survived the battle.

**Keiji:** Yeah, no thanks to you. Turns out that big guy with the mask and the axe was still hangin' around and he helped me get outta that mess. I did like going up against Yukes again though.

_A mental photograph of Keiji and the Executioner fighting off the Coalition appeared in Kotaro's mind._

**Kotaro:** Interesting...

**Keiji:** Yeah, but Masamune's not doing too well. This battle really got to him for some reason or another. He hasn't left his chambers all day.

**Kotaro:** Masamune is still too young to disperse any useless emotions to weigh him down like remorse for fighting a former friend such as Yi and ourselves were able.

**Keiji:** True dat, my chaotic little buddy. So, you see any mayhem in the near future through your freaky ninja skills?

**Kotaro:** Humph. *turns around* Just one thing. What we experiance today, was nothing compared to what's to the pandemonium that's to come. *disappears*

**Keiji:** Heh heh heh, well, I can't wait for the next rumble then! Hahahahaha!

_Fade to black as Keiji's laughter fills the mourning sun rise..._

...Fade back in as Cao Pi, Mitsunari, and Sima Yi reside in the throne room. Fang can be seen rushing into the room.

**Fang:** My lord! We have an unexpected guest coming to see you! We tried to tell him to wait for your approval but...

**Cao Pi:** No need to fret. Zhao Yun was so grateful for the aid in the battle last night that he sent one of his officers to join us.

**Sima Yi:** Truly? I wonder who Zhao Yun has to spare that he would--

_Yi's voice stopped completely as they saw the man that stood before them, mouth a gap. Mitsunari actually dropped his fan in shock and Cao Pi could be seen tightly gripping the arms of his throne._

**Cao Pi:** No way...

**Sima Yi:** You've got to be ****ing me...

**Mitsunari:** It's...

**Yuan Shao:** Greetings, commoners! You are now all part of the new Yuan Shao army! Worship my nobility! :D

_***** End of Chapter 7 *****_****

I'M NEVER MAKING A CHAPTER THIS ****ING LONG EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!


	8. Chapter 8 Royal Hanayuuki Brat

**_*** Chapter 8 - Royal Hanayuuki Brat ***_**__

_It was the morning after the great battle that determined Shu's destiny and Cao Pi and two of his most wisest strategist stood in the throne room after receiving a visit from an unexpected guest...__  
_  
**Yuan Shao:** Rejoice, peasants! I own you now! :D

**Cao Pi:** That's it. Sima Yi, prepare the troops. We have to let Zhao Yun know that we will not stand for an insult like this brought to our doorsteps.

**Sima Yi:** On it.

**Mitsunari:** Whoa! Now hold on just a minute! Do you really think that's necessary?

**Cao Pi:** Mitsunari. They just sent us the dysfunctional, mentally stunted Yuan Shao. Now if they had sent us a steaming bag of ox ****, I could handle that. But this!? This means war!

_And of course by this point Sima Yi was already handing out spears to the men in the background.__  
_  
**Mitsunari:** But we just rescued them! Besides, he can't be that awful.

_Cao Pi then lazily pointed to Yuan Shao, who had now just finished hanging up the following pictures on the throne room wall.___

_/2009/10/05/funny-pictures-zen-mastah/___

_/2008/04/08/funny-pictures-caturday-nite-fevr/___

_/2009/10/04/funny-pictures-engage-tiny-attack-mode/__  
_  
**Yuan Shao: **EPIC!!!

**Mitsunari:** ...Actually, you know I've got some extra bombs in my room.

**???:** Ha ha ha ha...Lord Cao Pi, please reconsider this.

**Cao Pi: **Hm? Shouldn't you be resting after the wound you suffered, Jia?

_Slowly walking into the room Guo Jia could be seen smiling slightly as he entered the room to reveal his new strategist robe. In truth it wasn't much different from the first._

**Guo Jia:** It was not as bad as Huang Gai made it out to be. Anyways, I believe having Lord Yuan Shao in our ranks may not be such a hindrance. He does have his own army after all.

**Cao Pi:** Truly? ...You do realize this is YUAN SHAO, don't you? Even if, who would we have to deal with him? The man instinctively makes everyone in the room want to stab kittens everywhere he goes!

**???:** !!!!!!!

_Sima Yi stopped handing spears, eyes wide as he recognized that squeal from anywhere. He braced himself for the following groping he was going to have to endure before blasting Zhang He out the window...again.___

_...But he was surprised when he B-lined straight to Yuan Shao._

**Sima Yi:** *blink, blink* Huh.

**Zhang He:** OH LORD YUAN SHAO YOU HAVE RETURNED!!!!!!! WE MUST GO SHOPPING AND LATER, DANCE!!! DANCE UNTIL THE MOON SETS!!!

**Yuan Shao:** Ah, my most loyal retainer! How have you been, what with the defecting to Wei and all?

**Zhang He:** Sextastic! Oh, I love what you've done with the throne room!!! :O

**Yuan Shao:** Epic, isn't it?

**Guo Jia:** ...Well that seemed to work out pretty well. Lord Zhang will have no problem with looking after Lord Yuan Shao while we integrate his army into out own. Besides, we just exhausted a great deal of resources to aid Shu. It would not be prudent to attack again.

**Sima Yi: **And if having him here keeps that annoying danny-boy off my back, and I mean that more literally than you think, then I'm with Jia.

**Mitsunari:** Makes sense.

**Cao Pi:** ...Very well. You have persuaded me. Have Zhang He show him around and give him a room...in the dungeon. Far away from me. Oh, and have someone strip down these God awful posters as well.

***** Xu Chang Hallway - Sima Yi & Guo Jia *****

_About half an hour our so after this mornings intrusion from Yuan Shao, Zhang He was assigned his duties as Mitsunari went to go see to his army. As for the rest, they went about their duties. Some such as the two strategist walking side by side down this hallway however, don't have to do much work. Well, at least not anything that couldn't wait until tomorrow._

**Sima Yi:** So...Yuan Shao, eh? Didn't you fight him once?

**Guo Jia: **Yes, the battle of Guan Du. I remember the fear and the flames of Wu Chao as his forces were burnt to ash. That battle ensured Cao Cao's rise to power.

**Sima Yi:** So how is it to have him as an ally now?

**Guo Jia:** Not as odd as I thought it would be. But it's good to have another army added to our own. Well, it certainly doesn't seem to bother him that much either way, ha ha.

**Sima Yi:** Hm. Indeed. From what I heard he had a few good officers under his belt. Yan Liang and Wen Chou stick out the most.

**Guo Jia: **Yes, they are. Caused many Wei officers a great deal of trouble, they slew a few others that defected from Lu Bu. Wei Xu, Song Xian, and even some of our own. Guan Yu just made them look bad.

**Sima Yi:** And their lord certainly wasn't the brightest apple in the barrel.

_Jia let out a small chuckle and continued walking with his ally. They continued on in silence for a moment before Yi asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.__  
_  
**Sima Yi:** Are you sure you should be out and about?

**Guo Jia:** I don't see why I shouldn't.

**Sima Yi:** Cao Pi ordered you to take the day off, get some rest and recuperation. It's not wise to go against a superiors orders.

**Guo Jia:** It's almost refreshing to know you're still too proud to just admit you're worried about my wounds. If you'd said that to anyone else it'd have just come off as if you didn't want to talk to them anymore.

**Sima Yi:** *scoff* Bastard.

**Guo Jia:** I'm perfectly fine, Zhongda. My wounds were minor. I was just a bit too close to the bomb than I had expected. Though I appreciate the concern.

**Sima Yi:** I just don't want you to die before I'm done using you for my plans.

_They both knew that was a flat out lie as they entered silence once again. Yi could remember it well, his reaction upon seeing Jia's form after the battle. His robe was virtually shreds, and blood and dirt was smeared across his flesh. The fact that he had to use Huang Gai as a crutch didn't really help much either..._  
**  
**_***** Flashback - Shu Main Camp *****_

_Sima Yi and everyone else in Wei had returned to the Shu camp. Their losses were great but Shu was saved from death. Zhao Yun had passed out wine and food from what was left of the wood oxen Yi had sent. It was in this night they all enjoyed a moment of drink. However, one team had yet to return..._

**Sima Yi:** Fengxiao!

_At the entrance of the camp was Huang Gai, supporting Guo Jia's right half of his body as they limped further inside. Yi, Guan Ping, and a few others swarmed the pair._

**Sima Yi:** Jia, what happened!? Don't tell me you let that savage cause you this much pain.

**Huang Gai:** No, no, Lu Bu was taken care of! Just...Lord Guo Jia had a close encounter with one of my bombs...

**Sima Yi:** Are you telling me this is because you were too senile to properly place a few bombs!?

**Huang Gai: **What!? Of course not!!

**Sima Yi:** Bah, we'll worry about your punishment later, get him to--

**Guo Jia: ***weakly* Zhongda.

**Sima Yi:** Hm? What is it?

_Jia slowly released his arm from Huang Gai's, wobbling a bit until he regained his footing. He brushed himself off a bit before speaking once more._

**Guo Jia: **This was entirely my failing. I miscalculated when handling the bomb I asked Huang Gai to give me. However, I will be fine with a nights rest.

**Guan Ping:** Are you sure? These wounds look pretty rough...

**Sima Yi:** As much as I dislike saying it, he's quite right.

_Jia looked down at himself, burnt and bruised skin and tattered robes. It's true, these wounds looked bad and looked even worse under the remaining clothing but he knew he'd be just fine. Though it didn't look like it. Smiling lightly, he placed his hands behind his back and began walking around the camp and picking up a bottle of wine, taking a drink._

**Guo Jia:** As you can see, I'm perfectly fine. Ow.

_He reached down and held his side where the explosion had been closest and Yi and a few others took a step forward._

**Guo Jia:** Well, maybe not perfectly...

_The Wei and Shu warriors around him each let out their own tiny chuckles at the remark as the night continued on..._

**_*** End Flashback ***_**

_Yi and Jia each began laughing as they continued down the hallway from reminiscing of the later night. Truly they were a match made in heaven._

**Sima Yi:** It is unfortunate that we only met once before in our time. Heh, I suppose that's one thing I can thank Orochi for and mean it.

***** Xu Chang Courtyard - Mitsunari & Nagamasa *******  
**  
**Nagamasa:** Wow. Yuan Shao must be a great leader to have an army of this size all willing to fight for him.  
_  
__Mitsunari and Nagamasa stood atop a flight of stone stairs leading into Xu Chang as they stared at the yellow and golden clad army before them. Mitsunari had been given the task of appointing them into Wei whichever way he thought best. He only knew Shao for a few minutes and he couldn't handle him so they decide to leave him out. Instead he brought Nagamasa, since his force was in the same boat as Shao's was._

**Mitsunari:** Oh, you'd be surprised. Well, ready for your speech?

**Nagamasa:** *nods* Ahem, your attention please! I am Nagamasa Azai, lord of the Azai clan. It was not but a few days ago that I...

_At this point Mitsunari had already began to zone out. Not because he couldn't handle the speech, boring things like this were part of his job. his mind however was elsewhere, a thought having been sparked up after seeing Guo Jia again this mourning. His mind flowed with thoughts of the night after they had made it back to Xu Chang. Everyone was tired and all of them headed to their chambers, including Mitsunari..._  
_  
_**_*** Flashback ***_**

_Mitsunari stretched and let out a quiet yawn as he proceeded down the hallway. He and Cao Pi had made sure everyone headed to their rooms for the night and got well rested. There wasn't a sound in the entire castle...until his walking brought him up to a door. He almost walked pasted it but stopped, taking a few steps backwards.__  
_  
**Mitsunari:** _I hear...voices? At this day of night? Wait a minute...this is Guo Jia's room.__  
_  
_He slowly and softly pressed his right ear against the door, trying to hear the voices more clearly. One voice he recognized as Guo Jia. The other...the other was a bit too faint to decipher. He pressed harder and focused on the conversation.__  
_  
**Guo Jia: **Yes, I understand that it was incredibly reckless of me.

**???:** ...

**Guo Jia:** Yes.

**???:** ...

**Guo Jia:** I understand. But...

**???:** ...

**Guo Jia:** I had to know, my lady, the full extent. Just how much I could--

_Mitsunari lost track for a moment. My lady? Who does he have in there? Maybe he was getting more "recuperation" than rest... The strategist then took a gamble, feeling he had to see who he was with. He eased the door open slowly as he just barely peered one of his eyes through the crack. He was just now able to see Jia in his sleep wear but then..._

**Guo Jia:** What? I'll take care of it.

_Mitsunari immediately bent straight up and kept a hand on the door, making it seem as though he'd just walked to the door as Jia slung it open in front of him.__  
_  
**Guo Jia:** Lord Ishida?

**Mitsunari:** Ah, Guo Jia. I thought I heard a voice on my way to my chambers and...

**Guo Jia:** Oh, must have been sleep talking. *opens door further* I often dream of participating in my late lord Cao Cao's battles. Chi Bi, Wu Zhang...

**Mitsunari:** I see... You did sound as if you were being chewed out by a Cao in there. I'll let you get back to rest, you need it.

**Guo Jia:** Good night to you, Lord Ishida.

_***** End Flashback *****_

**Mitsunari:** I still think that sounded a bit too clear for sleep talk...

**Nagamasa:** Lord Mitsunari? Mitsunari?

**Mitsunari:** Hm? Yes?

**Nagamasa:** I'm finished with my speech. I didn't think it was that boring but...

**Mitsunari: **No, no, you did fine. They seem much more at ease. Alright, men of the Yuan clan! Listen up!  
**  
******* Xu Chang Dungeon - Zhang He & Yuan Shao *****

**Zhang He: **And here we have your room!

_Shao walked skittishly into the stone covered room. It was rancid. Blood, dust, and bone fragments were slung across the walls, everything in the room was either rotten or rusted and there was a partially complete skeleton hanging from a noose on the ceiling. Chains were latched onto the walls and sharp torture devices were everywhere. And the smell...that made Xu Zhu's armpit sweat smell good._

**Yuan Shao:** I love it! :D

_Shao then noticed the posters of Lyndsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Miley Cirus on the walls._

**Yuan Shao: **You expect someone as noble and awesome as I to rest in this...this piss hole!?

**Zhang He:** Well we do have a free room right next to lord Cao Pi's... Though he did say specifically to put you in the furthest room from here...but I suppose doing the exact opposite wouldn't hurt. :D

**Yuan Shao:** Precisely old chum! Now let's--

_Ring, ring!_

**Yuan Shao: ***answers cell* Hello, commoner.

**DeapThroat:** Shao-Bzzzt-map. Impor-bzzzt-. Urgent-bzzzt-NOW!

**Yuan Shao: **Bored now. *hangs up* Now let's annoy the hell out of Cao Pi! :D

***** Dining Hall - Sima Yi & Guo Jia *****  
_  
__Sima Yi and Guo Jia could now be seen sitting across each other from a table, awaiting their brunch from the serving waitress as they happened to have missed breakfast. A few other officers were enjoying their own plates of food around the vast hall as well. Everyone was relaxed as this day was their day to rest after a long battle and after all, don't they deserve it?_

**Guo Jia:** Hm...

**Sima Yi:** Tired of waiting are you?

**Guo Jia: **No, no, I'm sure the soup will be here soon. It just occurred to me that when I challenged Lu Bu I did not see Diao Chan and she was not reported anywhere else correct?

**Sima Yi:** Yes, she wasn't at the main camp either.

**Guo Jia:** So then where was she? Lu Bu isn't the brightest individual but he wouldn't risk leaving her alone at a base or at Koshi Castle. Especially not with Dong Zhuo in the same army...

**Sima Yi:** An interesting thought but hardly one that concerns us. Unless your hinting at kidnapping Diao Chan...

**Guo Jia:** No, no, that would just send Lu Bu on a blinding mad rage to kill us all. It's just--ah, thank you.

_The waitress had finally arrived with the pair's bowls. She placed them, along with some sake bowls and cup, down before the strategist and bowed._

**Waitress:** Careful, it's quite hot.  
_  
__Yi nodded the waitress off and dipped a spoon into the bowl, taking a small sip to see just how hot it was. He nearly burnt his lip as he set it back in the bowl._

**Sima Yi: **Bah, worthless servant...  
_  
__Jia on the other hand raised his palm above the soup and released two or three ice cubes into it. He then dug his spoon into it, spun it around in the steaming hot liquid for a moment or two, and took a sip out of it. Now it was just the right temperature._

**Sima Yi: **Ha ha ha! Pouring ice into your soup to cool it. So simple and yet ingenues at the same time.

**Guo Jia:** Please, I was simply using the resources I had to hasten my objective. Certainly nothing ingenues.

**Sima Yi:** Even still, no normal person would have thought of that. They'd just waste time blowing on bite after bite.

**Guo Jia: **Ha, perhaps so. Oh, I'm sorry did you want--

_Jia words were cut short as both men stopped in their tracks as a dark blue blur appeared at the end of the table and after a micro second of flashing it took form into a figure Yi had remembered from a battle many nights ago._

**Sima Yi: **Ninja, what business have you here?

**Hanzo: **I have a message of dire importance for your master.

**Sima Yi:** Oh great, I guess now Wu wants our help as well then? When did Cao Pi get so damned generous...

**Hanzo:** The Hanayuuki clan has been reported moving to this area.

**Guo Jia:** Ah, yes, they are the clan with the greatest smiths in the land. We've had an alliance with them for--

**Sima Yi:** Yes, yes, I've done my homework. I know everything about them. In return for protection from Orochi, they make sure our weapons are the best. Why are you telling us this, ninja?

**Hanzo:** Princess Tamako is with them.

_At the sound of the name "Tamako" silverware could be heard dropping into plates all around as everyone in the hall tuned in to the conversation._

**Sima Yi:** ...And? So the 12-year-old who somehow or another became leader of the clan is coming herself, she probably just wants to play with Nene.

**Nene:** *from far back with big anime fashion head* HELL NO!!!!! I'M NOT PLAYING WITH THAT SPOILED LITTLE RAT!!!!!

**Guo Jia:** Zhongda, you've never met the Princess in person have you?

**Sima Yi:** No but I did hear she was a little...insufferable.

**Nene: **A LITTLE!?!?

**Guan Ping:** Lady Nene, please!

**Guo Jia:** We've met her before...it was...horrible.

**Sima Yi:** On a scale of Zhang He to Yuan Shao?

**Guo Jia:** Yoshimoto Imagawa.

**Sima Yi:** ...We have to warn Cao Pi now.  
**  
******* Throne Room *****

**Cao Pi: **I see... That is most troubling.

_Cao Pi sat atop his throne as usually, nervously planning on how to deal with this new event. In the room was many of Wei's core officers as well as Hanzo Hattori, all in about the same shape as Cao Pi. The Wei warlord raised his head, finally deciding how to go about this._

**Cao Pi: **Alright, you lot deal with this while I hide out in the dungeon for the rest of the day.

**Mitsunari:** ...What?

**Cao Pi: **Yeah, see ya. Make sure to tell her I'm off taking care of something important.  
_  
__Without so much as a glance back at his officers the young warlord stood up from his throne and slowly walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. They all stared in a blank shock._

**Nagamasa: **Heh heh, it's...it's a joke I'm sure. He'll turn right back around with the real plan. I'm sure.

...

...

...

**Oichi:** ...Is she really that bad?

**Sima Yi:** From what I hear she's near Yuan Shao's level. Speaking of which where the hell is--

_Just then the door was forced open yet again by the same hands as before, Cao Pi's. He calmly walked into the room, leaving the door open as his retainers continued to stare._

**Cao Pi:** She saw me. Shao let her in. She want's to see all of us in the throne room. Now.  
_  
__Large gulps could be heard from multiple officers in the room. Cao Pi waved at them to follow as they all exited the room. One officer however turned around.__  
_  
**Mitsunari:** Assassin, aren't you going to head back to Ieyasu? You can be sure to let him know we appreciated the heads up.

**Hanzo:** My mission was to ensure the meeting did not go out of hand. I shall act as a guardian.

**Mitsunari: **Well with someone with Sima Yi's temper here I can see why Ieyasu would think that would be necessary. Most appreciated.

_The pair were about to head for the door as Nene's head suddenly popped through._

**Nene:** Mitsunari! You get in here this instant! You're not getting out of this one!! You too, you teddy-bear sleeper!

**Mitsunari:** ...You sleep with a teddy bear?

**Hanzo:** **** you.

***** Throne Room - Every Single Wei Officer *****

**Cao Pi:** Oh, she's sitting on my throne now. Of course.

**Sima Yi: **..? The hell? He always threatens to execute me when he catches me sitting there. _

_The Wei officers poured into the room like cockroaches, including Hanzo, skittering and forming around the tiny little girl resting sideways in the throne with legs resting over the chairs arms. Her cute innocent smile had everyone in the room...scared ****less. To her sides were one of her personal maids and on the other was Yuan Shao, for some reason or another. She kept the smile as she hopped off the throne and began to speak._

**Tamako:** Hello everybody. I'm Princess Tamako Hanayuuki, leader of the Hanayuuki clan. I don't think I know all of you.

**Gan Ning: **...Well I think the little tyke's alright, I dunno what you guys were so worried about.

**Cao Pi: **O_O

**Tamako: **HOW DARE YOU REFER TO ME AS ANYTHING OTHER THAN PRINCESS!?!?!?!?

_Before Gan Ning had a chance to react at this sudden burst of anger the pirate was already having his chest drilled into by the multiple tiny fist of the princess, finishing with a kick to the nads that sent him over a foot into the air. Gan Ning was now huddled into the floor messaging his groin in a pile of his own shame._

**Tamako: **So how's everybody doing today? :)

**Sima Yi: **O_O

**Nagamasa:** O_O

**Oichi:** O_O

**Yuan Shao: **:D

**Cao Pi:** We, we are doing delightful now that you've taken the time to grace us with your presence. *nudges Zhang Liao*

**Zhang Liao: ***nods and drags Gan Ning out of the room*

**Tamako:** Yeah, well it gets boring over at the castle so I thought I'd hang out with some of my friends. ^_^

**Sima Yi:** *whispers* Jia! What the hell, you never mentioned she goes ballistic!

**Guo Jia:** *whispers* I thought you already knew all about her?

**Sima Yi: ***whispers* Oh, screw you!

**Tamako:** HEY!!! I'm speaking!

_Yi and Jia immediately straighten their backs like boards, directing their full attention to the little princess._

**Guo Jia:** I, I'm terribly sorry. We were just...discussing, er-

**Sima Yi:** How awesome you are.

**Tamako:** *turns her back* Hm, that's true I do do some wicked awesome things don't I? I guess I'll let that one slide this time lowly peasants.

_The hands of Guo Jia, Mitsunari, and Nagamasa could be seen rushing to cover Yi's mouth as he muffled out something incoherent._

**Sima Yi: **MOWMY MEAMANTM!?

**Tamako:** So where's that adorable little cute man at?

**Sima Yi: **Adorable little cute man?

_Yi looked around the room to see who would possibly risk missing this meeting. At first he thought of Guan Ping but he was standing right beside Nene, as usual. For some reason she was pouting. He then thought of any other candidates. Pang Tong was short but he was in the corner farthest away from Xiahou Yuan, though apparently this was enough to snap him out of his trance as that "O_O" look was gone now. Xu Zhu was cute in a kiddy kinda way but he was off in his own world rubbing his stomach next to Xu Huang. So then who...__  
_  
**Sima Yi:** Cao Ren? He's the cute one? Actually I do remember Fang saying something about that before...

**Tamako:** You know where that hunk of manly rock is? :D

**Sima Yi:** Er... Cao Pi?

**Cao Pi:** ...

***** Somewhere in Xu Chang *****

**Cao Ren: **Meow, meow. (This is the perfect disguise.)

_Slowly waddling along through the hallways of Xu Chang, the Wei general Cao Ren could be seen...inside a small sized Hello Kitty costume. Otherwise known as the "Wei Mascot Costume" they bring out around Halloween. He ran across many soldiers along the way but the only thing they could think to do was to stare blindly..._

**Cao Ren: **Purr, purr-ow~. (Now I'll not have to worry about that freakishly strong child. I'm so sly. ^_^)  
**  
******* Throne Room *****

**Cao Pi: **Unfortunately he was sent to...patrol a base under Orochi threat.

**Tamako:** Hm? Really? Are you sure? Okay! *hops back on the throne* So anyways I trust our super special uber weapons are serving you well with stabbing stuff, huh?

**Mitsunari:** Yes, your smiths have proven most useful. Without them half of us in the room would be dead right now. Isn't that right?

_Several faces such as Xiahou Dun and Xu Huang hesitantly, but willfully, nod in agreement with the strategist._

**Tamako:** He he, I told ya they would! I come from a long line of amazing smithereens, we could take a broken burnt up sword and make it a work of art! Like this one time--

**Guan Ping:** *whisper* Oh lord, she's starting rambling about how awesome she is. Again.

**Nene:** HUMPH!

**Oichi:** Um, lady Nene, what has you so upset? You seem worse off than any body.

**Nene:** No reason at all. Humph! Certainly not something to do with her being an insolent spoiled brat! HUMPH!

**Guan Ping: **Nene doesn't like to talk about it, Lady Oichi. Here, come in closer... *whispers something incoherent*  
_**  
**_**_*** Flashback - Tamako's Castle ***_**__

_Nene, Tamako, and one of her maids now holding a plate with some finely crafted china on it could all be seen standing in the hall. Tamako was furious and totally chewing out the maids hide. Incidentally this maid is the same one standing next to the throne at Xu Chang now._

**Tamako: **You think to make my play guest wait so long on a cup of tea!? HOW DARE YOU!?!

**Maid:** I, I'm so sorry Princess!!

**Tamako:** I demand you apologize and bow to us for every exact second you kept her, and ME, waiting!! :O

**Maid:** B-b-b-but Princess!

**Nene: **Hey! Don't be so mean to you maids! They work very hard just to keep you happy and you just yell at them! Now if you don't straighten up your attitude I'm gonna spank you until your rear turns red! D:

**Maid:** O_O  
_  
__Exactly 2.3 seconds later Nene could be seen bent over Tamako's lap as the princess proceeded to mercilessly paddle her backside, even beyond the point where it turned red._

**Tamako: **YOU NEVER EVER THREATEN TO SPANK THE PRINCESS!!!!!

**Nene:** *crying* I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, PLEASE STOP!!!! I HAD NO IDEA THAT HURT THIS MUCH!!!

_***** End Flashback *****_****

**Oichi:** Oh-oh my... o_O

**Nene: ***tears forming at the corner of her eyes* Children should not behave that way!!! D':

_Unfortunately, Princess Tamako was STILL rambling about her uber prowess in normal everyday activities and smithery. However not all the room had a story about Nene to keep them occupied as over half the room was already bored out of their minds. Xiahou Yuan for example was banging his head against the back wall, hoping the light blows would eventually knock him out. This continued for a long period until suddenly a ringing could be heard as Tamako halts and turns to Yuan Shao.__  
_  
**Tamako:** Hey, your tiny thing is distracting me.

**Yuan Shao:** K. *does nothing as the ringing continues*

**Sima Yi: **Oh my God, he's so freaking stupid...

_The princess's eyes narrowed as she leaped up on top of the throne and drove an axe kick straight down upon Shao's skull, embedding his face into the stone floor below. No, I mean literally embedding it. There is now and forever will be an imprint of Yuan Shao's face in the ground beside Cao Pi's throne. If not for his helmet that probably would have cracked his skull open. Conveniently during this Shao's cell flew out of his pocket and directly into Tamako's hand. Her teenage instincts kicked in as she immediately learned how to operate it and flipped it open._

**Tamako:** What commoner dares to interrupt my fun time!?

**DeapThroat:** Quickly, let me speak to Sima Yi! The fate of the world is at stake! ...Not really, but tell him that so he'll pick up!

**Tamako:** He's busy. *crushes the cell in one hand* Where was I?

**Huang Gai: **Somewhere between uber and awesome I believe.

**Tamako: **Ah, right. Nice memory old timer! Now as I was saying...

_And thus the agonizing preaching began yet again. A couple of death glances were sent to the Wu veteran for starting her up again but they went away as they returned to listen to her speeches about how she did minuscule things like tie her shoe with one hand, climb and save a cat from a tree, and legally bought all the turtles in the world. Why the latter, I have no idea. Everybody felt like death until..._

**Tamako:** So as I said before my skills with the weapons crafting is over nine thousand.

**Zhang He: **Pfft, your "skill?"  
_  
__The room went totally silent as if a gun shot was fire._

**Tamako: **YOU DOUBT MAH POWAH!?!?!? *lightning effect*

_And in a sudden flash of anime style movement Tamako had jumped across the room and rushed out to the blacksmiths chambers of the castle, leaving a gust of wind behind. With her where the weapons of three officers. Zhang He looked to see that not one, but BOTH of his Peacock Talons were gone as he gasped in fright! Yuan Shao, whom had awakened from his slumber, couldn't help but snicker at this...until he looked down and saw the Sword of Honor was missing as well. And even worse was that Hanzo, the innocent bystander in all this, had his Shadow Fang ripped from his grasp.__  
_  
**Hanzo:** ...Unpleasant.

**Sima Yi:** Ha ha ha, serves you right, fools!

_And naturally as Yi looked down his fan was gone from his waist as well._

**Sima Yi:** What the hell!? She took my FAN!? How the HELL is she going to make that better!? It's a ****ing FAN!!!

_Yi then removed his smirk and glared at Zhang He, saying nothing...moments before wrapping a chain around his throat, choking the life from his body._

**Cao Pi:** Yi, let him go.

**Sima Yi:** ...

**Cao Pi:** Yi...

**Sima Yi:** ...

**Zhang He: ***turning purple*

**Cao Pi:** Sima Yi!

_The strategist hesitantly removed the metal coils from his ally's neck as he regained his breath. He scoffed loudly as the chain retracted into his sleeve. He immediately turned and rushed out of the room after Tamako. After all, how often do you come across a shape shifting fan?! If the little princess damaged it too much then...well then he was going to rip Zhang He's intestines out and make him look at them. Soon after he was gone Yuan Shao followed along, Zhang He in tow. And Hanzo, well he had already disappeared in his ninja flash to chase after her. Cao Pi then turned to the maid._

**Cao Pi:** So...just how is the princess when it comes to blacksmith?

**Maid: **...I'll have our smiths make some new weapons for your allies.

***** Hallway - Cao Ren *********

**Cao Ren: **Meow, meow, MEooow! (I should seriously consider dressing up as this for Halloween!)

_As the short Cao Ren continued his trek down the halls of Xu Chang, wobbling from one foot to the other, Princess Tamako could be seen rushing down the hall behind him with all four of the formally mentioned warrior's weapons. However as she zoomed past she halted directly in front of Ren, eyeing his costume curiously._

**Cao Ren: ***nervously* Me-ow? (Please don't kill me. T_T)

**Tamako:** ...Oooooh, it's Hello Kitty!

**Cao Ren:** *sigh* Meow, me--YEEEEWWW!!! (Well, that was a close one now wasn't--ACK, MY ROCKS!!!)

**Tamako:** I hate Hello Kitty!!

_In case you couldn't tell by the clever innuendo, Tamako had just kicked Cao Ren in his groin since she was unable to deal pain with her fists at the moment. Feeling accomplished after this she now began skipping down the rest of the way to the smiths room. Cao Ren was left to wallow in his pain just as Gan Ning, on his knees and rubbing his manly parts.___

_That kick hurt so much infact that he was left on the ground even by the time Sima Yi and the other three caught up. And when you see a Hello Kitty on the floor in that situation you can't help but stop for a second._

**Sima Yi:** What in blazes is this thing doing here!? It's not even Halloween yet! ...Wait, Cao Ren?

**Cao Ren:** Me...ooow... (Yup.)

**Sima Yi: **Since you're on the floor in pain I'm guessing Tamako went though here. Which way?

**Cao Ren: ***weakly gets up and points left*

**Sima Yi:** Very good then. You lot, come. Hm?

**Zhang He:** ...

**Sima Yi:** Oh, I don't like that look in his eyes...

**Zhang He: **...OH MY GOD HELLO KITTY IT'S SO FREAKIN' ADORA-*is lazor'd*

**Cao Ren:** Meow? *is lazor'd*

**Yuan Shao:** :D *is lazor'd*

**Hanzo: ***disappears and reappears to dodge lazor*

**Sima Yi:** Hm. I feel a little better now.

_Sima Yi and Hanzo now continued on ahead, Zhang He and Shao following once recovering. They transverse the corridors, following the trail of frightened soldiers. They moved as fast as they could but once they entered the smiths room they were met with Princess Tamako...standing over their weapons with a blacksmith's apron on. However she was in the way of the weapons and they couldn't see them yet.__  
_  
**Hanzo:** Shadow Fang.

**Tamako: **Oh goody, you're all here. ^_^ So which one of you want's their new weapon first?

**Yuan Shao: **I demand you return my sword to me at once!

**Tamako:** ...Uh, you don't want yours yet. _ Here you go butterfly man!

_Tamako reached behind her and shuffled her hands around a bit until she pulled out both of Zhang He's weapons...well, technically it was just the one. During the "smithing" his talons were fused together, a few of the blades were missing and one was just barely hanging on the base, and somehow or another the base part was morphed into a putrid green and black color.___

_Zhang He fainted upon sight. Tamako, shrugging it off, kicked him away and threw the talon on him, probably impaling him.__  
_  
**Tamako:** Well he handle that better than I thought. ^_^;

**Hanzo:** Shadow Fang!

**Yuan Shao:** My sword! :O

**Tamako: **Watch the tone. Here.

_The little princess once again reached behind her, fiddling away with her arms until she somehow felt the correct weapon. She whipped it out to reveal the Sword of Honor...bent and jagged, much like a lightning bolt would be. Thankfully at least the handle was left untouched, as Shao felt for himself waving it around a bit.__  
_  
**Yuan Shao:** I love it! :D

**Tamako: **Seriously?! Thanks! Here's 10,000 gold. ^o^

**Sima Yi:** O_o

**Tamako: **Now let's see who's ne--

**Hanzo: **_**Shadow Fang!!**_

**Tamako:** Next! Here you go, mister gloomy! I think you'll really like it!

_After another reach behind her back Tamako brought forth the new and improved Shadow Fang._

**Hanzo: **You...

**Tamako: **Behold, THE MEGA LAZOR SHADOW HANAYUUKI FANG OF **DEATH** MK. 9001!!!!!!!!!!!

_The ninja wasn't able to speak at this point. His kusarigama's basic shape was there but it had so many attachments to it could barely be called such a weapon. On the back of the blade was a gun barrel the size of a musket which made it unbalanced, the blade itself was so long it looked more like the scythe a reaper would use so that made it even harder to hold, along the chain spikes were added all across it so trying to swing it would just get his hands cut all to hell, and finally on the end instead of a light weight was a Mega Particle Cannon larger than Ieyasu's boom stick that shoots an incredibly powerful beam at the enemy but to activate it one must state that he "is'a firin' his lazor" in bold letters. It also came with a scouter holstered on the handle so he could tell his enemies power levels.__  
_  
**Hanzo:** ...

**Tamako:** C'mon, you gotta admit that's awesome.

**Hanzo:** ...

_No longer saying a word, the ninja grabs his weapon and drags it out of the room slowly as best he can. At this point, Sima Yi REALLY didn't have high hopes for his weapon._

**Tamako:** Sima Yi! Your fan.

_This time considerably faster than before the Princess reached behind and pulled out Yi's fan...exactly the same as it was before, only now with a small Hanayuuki clan symbol on the handle along with a tiny anime fashioned head of Tamako smiling wide. Yi took the fan, eying it. He wasn't exactly pleased but after looking at the previous weapons he knew it could have been worse so he figured it better to count his blessings now and thank her._

**Sima Yi:** Yes, well, thank you for the...enhancement of my fan...

**Tamako:** Yeah, yeah, you can worship me later. Begone!

**Sima Yi:** Um, but... You gave Shao--

**Tamako:** JUDO CHOP!

_Naturally from an attack as powerful as that the resulting blow to his neck knocked him out on the floor next to Zhang He, swirls where his eyes should be as the screen blackens..._

***** Medical Room *****  
_  
__...The screen fades back into color as Yi's eye's slowly start to open. His vision is blurry as it comes into focus he sees a particularly beautiful face, exactly like that of a woman's coming closer to his, only inches away from contact as he was able to fully recognize the face._

**Sima Yi:** AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! ZHANG HE JUST WHAT THE HOLY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?!?!?!!?

**Zhang He:** Oh, how marvelous! I thought a passionate kiss would awaken you from your slumber, and it had done so before it even happened! Now, let us see if the real thing can completely rejuvenate you Master Sima--  
_  
__And by this point in the discussion Yi had already blasted He with a laser that sent him into the ceiling above and out into the air until a star effect could be seen.__  
_  
**Sima Yi:** I freaking HATE that creature!

_Yi looked around his room. He found himself surrounded by medical tables, Yuan Shao, and Nene in a nurses outfit. Apparently she's the new nurse. Though the thought of her psychotic hands operating on him wasn't exactly something he'd want her doing. Maybe if she didn't have sharp instruments at hand..._

**Nene:** Goody, you're awake! I thought I might have accidentally killed you while I was operating. :D

**Sima Yi:** Right now with that "Princess" in the castle even something like that doesn't frighten me...

**Nene:** Oh no, after she knocked you out the *voices goes deeper***_ evil little hellion of meanie stink_** *returns to normal* went home out of boredom.

_Yi let out a breath of fresh air at that. He DID NOT want to deal with that scary little girl ever again. Just as this happened Yuan Shao's cell started to ring yet again._

**Sima Yi:** ...Didn't Tamako crush that thing in her hand?

**Yuan Shao: **Who's Tamako?

**Sima Yi:** -_-

**Yuan Shao:** *answers* Speak, commoner. Yeah, here he is. *tosses the phone to Yi*

**Sima Yi: **Hello?

**DeapThroat:** Finally! Do you have any idea how many times I've tried to get a hold of you on this thing?

**Sima Yi:** Why didn't you just call my cell phone instead of Shao's?

**DeapThroat:** What's a cell phone?

_Naturally, Yi threw the phone against the nearest wall and shot a laser into it for good measure. About half a second after that a techno version of the DW6 theme began to play from his phone. He reached into his robe and answered angerly._

**Sima Yi:** Hello..?

**DeapThroat:** Hi! I just realized I can call your cell phone! :D  
**  
****Sima Yi:** ...I don't know who you are, I don't know what you want, all I know is I want you dead.

**DeapThroat:** Meet me in Xu Chang's dungeon! We have something urgent to discuss in private! Oh, and bring Shao with you as well.

**Sima Yi:** You just contra... Okay, sure whatever I've dealt with way too much stupidity today to argue anymore. *hangs up* Shao, follow me.

**Yuan Shao:** K.

***** Hallway - Mitsunari *****  
_  
__As soon as Princess Tamako was gone from sight, Mitsunari was focusing on stabilizing the moral that was shattered upon her visit. Some such as Gan Ning however, they won't be back to normal for a while. As he scavenged the halls for any more wounded souls he came across Hanzo making his way for the exit, his new kusarigama clipped onto his waist. He approached the shadow with haste, fearing that he'd simply disappear in a flash like he likes to do so much._

**Mitsunari: **Ah, Hanzo. You're leaving now?

**Hanzo:** The day has lifted, and the shadows roam free again. Now is the time to return to my master. Your men?

**Mitsunari: **They're fine. We appreciate you staying to help keep the peace...and sorry for your weapon.

_Hanzo nodded to his former enemy and began to proceed to the exit once again. However, Mitsunari's hand was placed on his shoulder as he stopped once again, peering his head to his side to see him out of the corner of his shrouded face._

**Mitsunari:** Oh, and ninja, the next time you want to spy on us for your lord, remember that Wei only gives warning once. We're not blind. You don't want to show your head here again unless you want it cut off.

_And with this Mitsunari's hand was released from the shinobi's shoulder as he moved to take care of his other duties. Hanzo let out not a single sound as he took in the threats before disappearing into the darkness once again..._  
**  
******* Dungeon - Yi & Shao *****

**Sima Yi:** Alright, I'm here. Now come out of the shadows.

**Yuan Shao:** The noble Yuan family commands it!

**???: **Over here.

_Yi and Shao both turned around to catch the figure of a man in a trench coat with matching hat and dark round glasses. His face and body was hidden by the shadows so only the outlining of his body could be seen. Yi raised an eyebrow at this figure._

**???: **My name...is DeapThroat.

**Sima Yi: **Right, so what do you want of me?

**DeapThroat:** I have come to tell you the tale of a young samurai, a samurai of great strength and his dark tale. His name...is Mitsuhide Akechi. You have not heard of his tale during your time in the ranks of Orochi but you may have heard of him before.

**Sima Yi:** Yes...from what I heard he was quite the clever one.

_A black and white flashback sequence will now commence as DeapThroat tells the story of Mitsuhide. Now scenes of Mitsuhide speaking with and bowing before Nobunaga shows on the screen, flipping to different scenes of the same nature as he speaks._

**DeapThroat: **Mitsuhide Akechi was Nobunaga Oda's greatest vassal, gaining his trust and respect and becoming more closer to him than any other. Perhaps even more so than his own wife. However, back in the samurai's time he betrayed his lord, challenging him for his own ambitions and realizations.

_Mitsuhide and Nobunaga SW2 fight cutscene now takes place, ending with Nobunaga being shot in the back._

**DeapThroat:** But in the final moments of the pair's climatic battle, neither found themselves able to kill the other as neither wanted a world without the other. But then some douche bag came by and shot Nobunaga, but that's a different story. It was around this time that Orochi started sucking up people into his world, and after this incident where Nobunaga was returned to the living...

_Mitsuhide and Nobunaga now shown fighting together back to back._

**DeapThroat: **Mitsuhide returned to being his vassal, fighting for his lord against Orochi. But the warrior was not the same after that. His ambitions filled his subconscious mind with the desire for darkness, dark powers that surpassed even Nobunaga. The raging desire that he could no longer hide sent him into despair and then...

_The screen flashes to show Mitsuhide's face, skin pale and eyes bright red with blood._

**DeapThroat:** Well then he hit rock bottom as you would say. Darkness enveloped him and now he is wondering the land. His motives, I can't say. Where he is, I don't know. But I can tell you this much; he's looking for blood.  
_  
__Flashback sequence ends._

**Sima Yi:** So this samurai, you think he will surface soon?

**DeapThroat:** No, I think he already has and you just haven't heard about it yet.

**Sima Yi:** And why are you telling me this?

**DeapThroat:** Isn't it obvious? I'm Yuan Shao's adviser, so you and him needed to be warned about it.

**Yuan Shao:** :D

**Sima Yi:** So...Shao has an adviser named DeapThroat, that apparently lives in Xu Chang's dungeon, that is also a semi-all knowing figure within this insane creation the author calls a story?

**DeapThroat: **Yeah, pretty much.

**Sima Yi:** Right, well, you're full of it, Shao's mental, and I'm going to bed now.  
_  
__Yi immediately left for some well deserved rest, leaving Shao and Deapthroat behind._

**DeapThroat: **...Wanna play Pong?  
**  
****Yuan Shao:** Hells yeah!  
**  
******* Hallway - Just Outside Yi's Room *****

_Sima Yi was tired. With the princess' visit and the previous battle which he was still a little sore from, he needed another nights worth of rest. He was in the hallway to his room and almost there to the door as well until he heard the frantic sounds of footsteps tapping against the floor, echoing throughout the empty and silent halls of Xu Chang. Upon further waiting he saw the source of the noise approach him, bowing before him._

**Sima Yi:** Fang? What are you doing here at this hour? And why are you so panicked?

**Fang: **M-master...Master Sima Yi! We've lost all contact with one of our western bases! As well as the village that was built around it! We sent a small unit to investigate, and now our spies report that they have disappeared.

**Sima Yi: **What? It couldn't be...was he really telling the truth all along? ...I see. Send a 500 man squad to see about what had happened. If they do not return by in the morning, I shall direct this to Lord Cao Pi.

**Fang:** Yes, my lord!

_And with that Fang returned to his sprinting, running as fast as he could to gather the necessary troops. Yi moved to his door, putting a hand on the doorknob before stopping to think to himself about the situation. If DeapThroat was really speaking the truth then..._

**Sima Yi:** ...Mitsuhide...

_Yi opens the door and closes it shut on the camera, screen fades to black afterwords...___

**_*** End of Chapter 8 ***_**_****_

**_...Kinda._**_****_

**_Introducing the latest segment in the Legend of Sima Yi, "Yuan Shao's Noble Guide to the Warriors!" The Noble Warriors Guide will appear at the end of every following chapter from here on out. The Noble Warriors Guide are to be funny shorts of various warriors chronicled by the one and only, Yuan Shao. Enjoy!_**_****_

**_The Noble Warriors Guide intro starts with Yuan Shao flying by the screen with rainbows shooting out of his ass and propelling him forward until the entire screen is covered in rainbows. The rainbows are then whipped away by DeapThroat and his squeegee, whose face is still hidden in shadow_**_****_

**_Noble Warriors Guide 1: Cao Pi's Insomnia_**__

_Screen fades in to Cao Pi in Wei styled PJs, hidden under his covers with a pillow covering his head with Zhen Ji rolled over facing the other side of the bed, fast asleep. As the screen fades further in we can hear Smooth Criminal by Micheal Jackson playing in the background...__  
_

**Cao Pi:**_ Damn that Zhang He! I precisely said to put Yuan Shao in the room FURTHEST from me! Now he's right next to mine dancing with Zhang He, and he won't SHUT OFF THAT HORRID NOISE!!! And how the hell can Zhen sleep through this?_

_Cao Pi pushes the pillow into his ears harder, rolling back and forth in his bed as that same song repeated again and again and again. It was so loud by now it felt as if it was in the very room with him! Now starting to quiver with anger, Pi leaned up, snarling._

**Cao Pi: **That's it! I can't stand it! That damned song is melted into my head now!! I'm going to--hm?

_Cao Pi stopped as he was somehow able to hear the music tune down as he heard the door to Shao's room slam open. He listened closer._

**Yuan Shao:** Sima Yi! :D

**Zhang He:** Ah, how wonderful Master Sima Yi! Obviously you have come to join in our dancing and merry--AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

_Cao Pi could be seen smiling quietly to himself as the sound of several dozens of Yi's lasers were fired into the warlord's chambers, and he noted the extra powerful one that was used to stop whatever system Shao had as the generator to that song. The only following sound was that of Yi closing the door behind him as he left.__  
_  
**Cao Pi:** Thank. God.

_Finally in silence, Pi rested his head against his pillow and shut his eyes at last. He could feel his body becoming limp as he was a mere baby step away from that wonderful slumber...until..._

**Zhen Ji:** FISHSTICKS!!!! :O Oh, my lord! I had the dream again, you must comfort me!

**Cao Pi:** -_- I hate my life...

_The Noble Warriors Guide ending begins as Yuan Shao flies around in a white suit and diamond glove styled after MJ a few times before crashing head first into the screen, shattering it upon impact___

**_*** End of NWG 1 ***_**


	9. Chapter 9 The Dead in the Twilight

**_*** Chapter 9 - The Dead in the Twilight ***_**

**Nobunaga:** And so it begins.

_Deep within the walls of Azuchi Castle, the Demon King Nobunaga Oda could be seen sitting on his throne, hunched over a bit with a hand covering his eyes, the hand removing itself as he spoke. Curiously, the monkey Hideyoshi Toyotomi leaned over to him.__  
_  
**Hideyoshi: **My lord? What do you mean?

**Nobunaga: **Mitsuhide's decent into the dark has come full circle. He is to the east, just beyond Mount Hua. His power has grown, tainted by the dark. He will no doubt have a trap laid for any who interlope in his affairs. It will be extremely dangerous.

_The eyes of Hideyoshi, having inferred that his lord was not speaking to him, then turned toward the young male across the hall that stood just beyond the double sided doors. He had black hair, along with blue eyes and dressed in a black coat with a belt tied around the waist to keep it pinned down. Underneath that were white under cloths along with black pants and black boots.__  
_  
Nobunaga: I want you to go alone, Kira "Setsuna" Hiroyuki. What do you say?

**Setsuna: **Mission...accepted.

***** Sima Yi - Trail to Lu Shi Base *****

**Sima Yi: **Hm...

_Sima Yi was thinking to himself as he rode his horse along under the sky, moments away from dawn. A bored look was painted on his face as he peeked behind, making sure of whom was accompanying him for this mission. Cao Ren, Zhang He, and that kid Guan Ping. You know for once he'd wished Cao Pi wouldn't send him out with people that he hates. Actually while we're on it, why does he send him out so damn much anyway? He was a strategist, someone who was suppose to sit in the back while he orders people around! Not a damn errand boy for whenever these imbeciles can't take care of themselves!_

**Sima Yi:** *sigh* _Still, I suppose it's for the best. After all, if the loss of communications with the base we're investigating were cut by this "Mitsuhide" then I may very well be the only one fit to deal with it._

_Yi's mind then forced him to remember the events of last night, after being told the tale of Mitsuhide Akechi. A man that wanted to surpass his lord, filling his own ambitions within the world. Humph, sounds familiar doesn't it? He had to admit, he was looking forward to confronting this man. And if he was able to clear out the entire Lu Shi Base, along with the battalions sent before them, then he could be a real...well, most people would say "challenge" but for Yi, he labels this as an annoyance._

**Zhang He:** Master Sima Yi?

**Sima Yi: **Hm, yes?

**Zhang He:** You looked like you were deep in thought so I thought I should let you know we will be approaching our destination soon.

**Sima Yi:** I know that, I'm not so foolish as to completely lose myself in thought.

**Zhang He: **Sorry...

**Guan Ping:** Tch.

_The young dragon accidentally let out a particularly irritated noise, showing his disgust with the way Yi had just back talked his subordinate, that only tried to help him out a bit! Just what the hell was his problem anyways! Is there like a Jackass Gauge that he has to fill every day or something? Or does he just feel good doing it? Seriously the guy is a total-_

**Sima Yi:** Something wrong, boy?

**Guan Ping: **Well-um, no...

**Sima Yi: **Hm.

_However Ping had decided to stay silent. After all, confronting him about it would result in nothing. He'd just shrug it off and they weren't too far from Lu Shi base anyways, now wasn't the time or place. Besides, it's just one mission he has to go on with him. Ping sighed to himself, quietly, as he wondered why Nene recommended him for this mission. And why Lord Cao Pi listened to her! Something about "bonding with each other" was all he could make out from them. Bonding, with him? He didn't like being next to him let alone making a connection.___

_This was gonna be a long day...__  
_  
***** Samurai - Fan Castle *****

**Samurai: **Rragh!

_In a flash of blades, rain, and blood the Samurai could be seen hacking his way through the enemies as he made his way to Fan Castle. Right now he had a ways to go as he fought in the open field, sword slashing through the air so fast that the raindrops themselves were cut in half. By the time he finished cutting the snake warriors that had surrounded him he had cut thousands of them. And as he sheathed his blades the raindrops that were suspended in the air by the constant velocity hit the ground all at once, exactly as the guard hit the sheath's end. From an outside observer, it was an impressive display._

_However to his surprise a snake ninja leaped at him from behind, giving him time only to barely turn his head as said ninja was cut down by a light purple clad warrior, his long and heavy nodachi grinding through his spine as the body hit the ground. Samurai turned around, admiring the excellent kill._

**Samurai: **Thank's miss. I guess I owe you one.

**?:** Hey! What's that suppose to mean! Do I look like a woman to you!

**Samurai: **Um...yes? O_o

**?: **Grr... I am Ranmaru Mori and I am as strong as I am manly!

**Samurai:** R-really? I heard Ranmaru was a fierce samurai and not...um...

**Ranmaru: **Ju-just shut up... What are you doing here anyways? I don't recognize you in Wu's ranks.

**Samurai: **I was just passing by and I noticed the conflict so I came to help Ieyasu's fight to take Fan Castle.

**Ranmaru:** A simple good Samaritan? In this world? That's a first. But if you're here to help, how about accompanying me to the floodgates? Lord Sakon has ordered me to go and assist in it's capture so we can get the upper hand.

**Samurai: **Yes, a flood attack with this rain would be perfect... Alright, let's go.

_And with this simple conversation the two warriors nodded to each other as they ran off through the mud and bodies..._

***** Sima Yi - Lu Shi Village *****

_It was truly a sight to behold as the small Wei unit entered the village outside the Lu Shi base, Yi at the head. Bodies were everywhere. Men, women, children, dogs, you name it and it was there, dead and on the floor. There was also an ominous air around the corpses, something dark that sent shivers around the Wei troops. At closer inspection it can be seen that most were killed by swords but some...some were killed by tears and bites into their very flesh._

**Sima Yi:** What the hell happened here?

**Cao Ren**: How horrible. An entire village slaughtered, and for no reason as well. Look, the murderers didn't even loot the area for rations.

**Zhang He:** How...ugly.

**Guan Ping:** We must avenge these slain here...

**Sima Yi: ***rolls eyes* Well we can't avenge anything here. Let's press forward.

_Yi kicked his horse slightly to initiated a steady gait as his allies followed him. He didn't even have to look back to know the state of his men. Simply walking into this village had unnerved them greatly. And that presence...dark and mysterious...he knew he wasn't the only one to have felt it. He continued ahead of his troops until he was at the gate leading into the small fortificated base known as Lu Shi Base. He noted that the wooden gate door was completely opened as he proceeded further in._

_The Wei forces said nothing as they walked, stepping over bodies of dead Wei troops. Some were more recent than others but they all smelled equally horrid. And just like the dead villagers, bite marks and torn flesh. A gruesome sight. Yi walked his troops all the way till the dead center of the base where he'd had enough._

**Sima Yi:** Alright, what the hell is going on! Not a single living person inhabited this base after our forces were eliminated, the town wasn't even ransacked for supplies...  
**  
****Cao Ren:** Lord Sima Yi, look!

_Yi's question remained unanswered as Cao Ren pointed to the opposite exit of the base where a single man could be seen. He was wearing a straw wicker hat and a long dark cloak that concealed his entire body. Just as his figure came into focus the twilight sky the sun had presented faded into night as dark clouds filled the sky and the sun faded away. In this night the man's blood red eyes lite up just below his hat moments before he turned, slowly walking away until he disappeared in a shrouded mist..._

**Sima Yi: **_Was that him!_

**Guan Ping: **Uh, Sima Yi?

**Sima Yi:** Dammit, we can't let him get away! Everyone, after him now!

**Guan Ping:** Sima Yi!

**Sima Yi: **What! Ugh? What in the-!

_To the strategist's shock, every single dead body around the base began moving on its own. Even though some had chunks of their faces ripped off the former Wei troops began standing, albeit wobbling all over the place. Some even forgot how to hold their swords as they dropped them. It only took a few seconds and they were all completely surrounded by what could only be described as undead zombies..._

**Zhang He:** UGH, THIS IS HORRIBLE! SO...GROTESQUE!

**Cao Ren:** This explains what happened to the other troops and the base... The villagers were slaughter, then used to conquer the base. After that the scouts we sent were lured into the center and then ambushed just as we have been. Foul trickery...

**Sima Yi:** Damn... _Ren was right for the most part but there were no corpses of villagers in the base. Whoever did this used their own skill to do it._ Was that man we saw the one behind this?

_Yi looked around to his troops. They were huddled in a circle around the officers, forming a protective layer but it was obvious they were scared. They were backing up and giving ground to the slow moving zombies. Even the horses were acting up. They wouldn't last long... He then stared where the man had previously stood, knowing if too much time was given he would be long gone... Then they would just have this happen again! He had to stop him before he got too much distance! But his troops would be too slow, even if they could get the nerve to move. Even then to get past the undead horde... If he wanted to end this he would have to leave them behind. The officers would probably die as well..._

_Then again he hated two out of three of them with a passion so it wasn't all bad._

**Sima Yi**: Hiya!

_Sima Yi blasted away a few undead blocking his path, using his free hand to hold onto the reins of his horse as he speed through them like a spear being thrown through the air. All eyes turned to Yi and his black stead. A mix of anger, depression, and surprise hit their faces. For Guan Ping, it was mostly the former._

**Peon:** M-Master Sima Yi! Are you going to abandon us!

**Guan Ping:** Of course he is, he's not Zhang Liao. That coward doesn't care about us "statistics". If we want to live through this then we'll have to do it all on our own!

**Zhang He: **But they're sooo ugly...

**Cao Ren**: Very well.

**Zhang He:** Hm?

_Cao Ren was off his stead, standing straight up and as tall as his short body could allow him as he moved past his troops. Ren raised his shield before him, unsheathing the blade in his Crane. Gripping it tightly, he plowed into the undead ranks with his shield before forcing his blade straight through the waists of two zombies. Their bodies slowly started to split in half and fall as he spoke._

**Cao Ren: **I am Cao Ren, the shield of Wei! If no others stand up to the challenge then my unbreakable will shall shatter the very souls of our enemies! I AM A ROCK!

**Guan Ping: **Whoa...

**Zhang He:** Beautiful...

**Guan Ping:** After a speech like that, I kinda feel like showing off! Let's go, Master Cao Ren!

**Cao Ren: **Humph. Indeed.

***** Samurai & Ranmaru - Fan Castle *****

_The Samurai and Ranmaru were now easily hacking through the enemy troops, working together side by side. They were fighting amazingly well as Samurai would throw off shockwaves with Masamune to thin the numbers while Ranmaru would move up to finish them off, cleaving many in half with a single blow. This worked for a good while until they had reached their destination. They ran across a rather fearsome foe here..._

**Keiji:** ZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzz...

_However Keiji Meada didn't really seem too fearsome while he was asleep on the ground. This would have been a good chance to simple walk past him into the floodgates but he was asleep right in front of the door. Samurai raised an eyebrow as he looked on a moment before nudging Ranmaru._

**Samurai**: Er, is this the guardian?

**Ranmaru:** It has to be. Do you not know who that is?

**Samurai:** Not by appearance. Most people say their names first and that's how I know who people are around here.

**Ranmaru:** That is Keiji Meada, one of the most powerful warriors in this twisted land. Against such a foe, we must be very careful, very safe, very subtle, very-

_By the time Ranmaru got this far in his explanation, Samurai had picked up a rock and threw it at Keiji's head. This caused the wild cat the jolt up in surprise. Ranmaru twitched moments before strangling Samurai by his shirt collar._

**Ranmaru: **What the heck is wrong with you! Did you not hear a freakin' word I just said!

**Samurai:** Well I-

**Keiji:** Hey, who the heck just slugged me with a rock! Someone's gonna get a skull cracked!

**Samurai:** Hey, now I-

**Ranmaru: **Now look, you got him mad! Just great!  
**  
****Samurai:** But I was just-

**Ranmaru:** It doesn't matter at this point anyways. Now listen when I say we'll need to work together to deal with this one, alright.

**Samurai:** I just wanted to get him awake...

_Keiji got to his feet, rubbing his forehead until the bruise vanished. He cracked his neck and looked at the two in front of him. They both had their weapons drawn and ready to battle. Keiji smiled at this, swinging his spear around in excitement._

**Keiji:** Alright, now I see! You guys are enemies, which means I get 'ta smash ya! Hehehehe, sweet!

**Samurai:** He looks like he's about to enjoy himself.

**Ranmaru:** Keiji has always treasured his skill in fighting because he loves to do it so much. It's partly why he's just so strong and fierce.

**Keiji: **Ready or not; here I come!

_The blond warrior rushed the pair of samurai's as he swung his spear with an amazing force. Ranmaru and Samurai both blocked it but the attack was so strong it broke past their guard anyways. What was really amazing though was that he did that attack with one hand! Smiling wide as he saw they were open, Keiji slammed the end of his weapon into the ground, the force of the impact knocking them both in separate directions. Samurai was able to recover midway, heels skidding across the dirt as he stopped._

_This however only got Keiji's attention as he went straight for him, not even giving him time to block as he jabbed his spear at his gut. However one swift twirl to the side and Samurai was able to dodge, grabbing the shaft of his spear in the process. As Keiji pulled back Samurai went with it; as he had intended. He roared back his free fist and struck, only to have Keiji smirk as he caught the fist in his palm. Samurai's eyes snapped wide as Keiji swung his arms, causing Samurai to spin in the air just before being power punched into a tree._

_Of course right about this time Ranmaru sliced Keiji's back, though only phasing his armor. Keiji turned and dealt a back hand smack to young Ranmaru's cheek that had him spinning in the air, however he recovered on his feet and pounced yet again and uppercut Keiji in the chin with his free hand. The wildcat staggered back momentarily, leaving him open from a nice cut by Ranmaru right down the torso. The blade went past his armor and made a gash for blood to slink out._

**Keiji:** Hey hey hey! That was a nice one!

**Ranmaru:** Damn...did I not cut deep enough?

**Keiji**: Well that's enough warm up wouldn't you say? Now let's-

_Keiji's words were cut short as a huge sound erupted from behind him, the sound of running water._

**Keiji: **...That's not good.

_He slowly turned around to see the flood gates opened and flood water pouring into the castle. He chuckled nervously for a moment as he realized he did the one thing he was told not to let happen; goof off and let the gates open. He then turned his gaze higher to see a dark blue figure standing atop a flag pole next to the opened gate. The master ninja, Hanzo Hattori. In a single flash his slick figure disappeared, only to reappear in front of Keiji with his fist slammed in the ground as a shockwave erupted from one of his ninjutsu moves. It sent Keiji flying back and in the air._

_He spun himself so he could see where he would land. Little did he know that his stomach would land with Samurai's leg before his feet hit the ground. the resulting blow had him rolling on the ground until he rolled into the river, the stream carrying him away._

**Ranmaru:** Thanks, Hanzo. Keiji is a powerful being.

**Hanzo:** After completion of this objective my master has ordered us to attack Fan Castle. He wants you to accompany, Samurai.

**Samurai:** I owe you both for helping with Keiji. Of course I'll come along.

**Hanzo:** Be swift.

_Hanzo was the first to move, using superior speed to dash ahead of the two. Ranmaru and the Samurai shrugged at each other and proceeded to follow._

***** Setsuna - Dark Forest *****

**Setsuna: **I'm getting closer...

_The samurai of the Oda stood atop a tree branch, hand on the katana strapped to his waist belt. The forest he was in was dark and demonic with a shade of night so dark that you could barely see a few yards ahead of you. Setsuna hopped onto the ground below and unsheathed his katana, cutting a zombie in half diagnolly. His sword illuminated a twilight tint that served as a lantern on his way through the forest, searching for his target..._

***** Sima Yi - Dark Forest *****

**Sima Yi:** This forest...there's something off about it. I can't even see beyond my horse.

_Yi road out alone through the pitch black forest. He could tell even his steed was frightened. However, it wasn't frightened anymore now that a zombie lunged from the tree and gutted it, almost taking Sima Yi's leg with it._

**Sima Yi:** Damn!

_Yi flipped off of his steed as it tumbled, falling smack into a tree. It died instantly. Angered, Yi wrap one of his chains around the zombie's neck as he tightened and tightened until it came snapping off and his body hit the ground._

**Sima Yi: **Dammit. I liked that horse. And now I have to go this on foot.

_He began to turn and walk away but suddenly stopped, turning back around to see a headless zombie! It got the jump on him but he still had enough time to morph his sword out and cut the undead in half as it ran at him._

**Sima Yi: **Humph. Should have known that cutting off the head wouldn't be enough. Most of the living only just barely use theirs, so what use would an undead have of it?

_Sima Yi continued on his path to Mitsuhide but it was only a few steps forward when he realize that he was being followed. Normally, a forest at this time of night would have countless noises. Crickets, birds, various mammals of the animal kingdom and such, but none of those were present. That's why he could hear the cry of the undead around him as their slow, draggy footsteps surrounded him. But with his visibility as is he couldn't find them at all. So he decided to stop. _

_He closed his eyes, trying his best to 'feel' the area around him and surely enough one of the zombies leaped at him...only to have a hole drilled in his body by one of Yi's lasers. But this was just the start of a horde of other zombies that hurled their bodies at him all at once from all sides. Yi acted fast as he fired lasers with both hands in all sorts of directions and each one met it's mark just in time. However as this was not enough to finish these kind his work wasn't done. Yi immediately unleashed his strings and swung them around multiple times like thin wires of death, cutting the prone beings into pieces. Yi sighed as his strings zipped back into his gauntlets._

**Sima Yi:** These things are a pain to kill... What the-!

_The air around the strategist suddenly change immensely. The darkness around him expanded to where he had a reasonable amount of sight. And once his eyes adjusted he found himself within clear sight of his target, Mitsuhide._

**Sima Yi:** So it seems you've revealed yourself to me. You've caused me a great deal of trouble you know...

**Mitsuhide:** ...

**Sima Yi:** Nothing to say? That's fine. I already know your story anyways. And in a moment you won't even be able to move that mouth of yours! Now die!

_Yi fired a single beam at Mitsuhide as he amazingly deflected it with his left hand, sending it into a line of trees. Yi's surprise was very visible on his face whereas Mitsuhide simply adjusted his straw hat._

**Sima Yi:** _That...that's not right! He just deflected my attack with his bare hand! No one can do that! Wait, what's he doing now?_

_Mitsuhide slowly placed a hand on the hilt of his katana, gripping it loosely. Before Yi's eyes could registered it the dark samurai released his blade and swung across the air once, sending out a black shockwave as he immediately sealed it again. Fortunately Sima Yi dodged it by curving his body, but not completely as portions of his clothing on his right arm and shoulder were shredded off. He also had a scar on his shoulder from it. He looked back just in time to see Mitsuhide vanish into thin air and to see him reappear in front of him, blade raised high._

**Sima Yi: **Impossible! Did he just teleport!

_Yi's eyes widened as he saw where Mitsuhide's blade was destined. The samurai intended to impale his heart on the tip of his katana! The blade reflected in his eyes as it moved closer with every nanosecond that past, closer, and closer until..._

***** Wei Army - Lu Shi Village *****

**Cao Ren:** RrrrrRAAAGH!

_The fierce Cao general tore through the zombie horde, flipping them in the air with his shield as he cleared a spot for his blade. He threw it like a boomerang as it sore through the enemies and hacked them into halves until it easily flue back into Ren's hand. He then stomped the ground with his foot, causing small shockwave to knock back surrounding zombies. The general looked over to see how his comrades were doing._

_Guan Ping clearly had no problems as he swung his sword around back and forth, hacking parts off of undead on both sides until he finally jumped into the air and slammed his great sword into the ground, launching a huge blue arrow shaped shockwave that rode across the ground in a straight line. The attack had body parts flying all over the place._

_Ren was worried when he saw that he couldn't see Zhang He but he quickly saw that it was nothing to worry about as the beautiful general came crashing down into a pile of zombies, striking a pose as his blades hacked them apart. As if on queue butterflies flue around him as he did so. He was glad to see the troops faring quite well too. However he noticed that the more zombies they killed, the more kept coming. They seemed never ending..._

_Ren holds up the shield, focuses, and hopes for the best. Lo and behold, a barrage of energy blasts shoots out the end of the masterfully designed weapon. The zombies, more confused and curious than anything else, line up instead of getting out of the way. Soon the battlefield is littered with heaps of undead._

**Guan Ping: **Wow! How did you do that?

**Cao Ren:** I will teach you if you allow me to try out that whirlwind blade of yours.

**Guan Ping:** You got yourself a deal.

_He hands over the giant sword. Cao Ren tests it out, winds up, and lets loose. Another huge crowd of zombies falls in a matter of seconds._

**Cao Ren: ***staggering* That is an impressive weapon. But you will have to teach me how to prevent such dizziness.  
**  
****Guan Ping: **Works for me.

***** Sima Yi - Dark Forest *****

**Sima Yi: **Ha, dodge it!

_Sima Yi found a gleeful respite in that he dodged such a fast and close ranged attack even if just barely. However Mitsuhide soon corrected this by placing the palm of his left hand out to Yi, emitting a powerful wave that knocked him through the air and slammed his back into a tree. He spit out a mix of blood and saliva upon contact. But even then he couldn't relax as Mitsuhide dashed to his foe and once again attempted to impale him. This time though Yi was able to take out his fan and shape it into a shield. The blade's tip ground in place with the center of the shield before slowly grinding its way to the side._

**Sima Yi:** Got you!

_In one fluid motion our strategist moved his shield to his side and fired a single laser at his foe's head as he went by...only to have him teleport and the attack go off in the distance. Damn. That would have been a good hit... Yi put his back up against the tree he had previously be knocked into and scanned the surroundings but to no avail. The samurai had not reappeared yet. However he managed to just barely hear a noise, the sound of a blade slowly being unsheathed. He immediately jolted away and turned back just in time to see the black hue of Mitsuhide's tainted blade flash through the tree. And but a moment later the tree split in half. If he had been beside it then so would he have been._

**Sima Yi**: Grr...this is annoying.

_It felt as though Yi were struggling against this enemy but...how is that possible? He is out of anyone else league! But still, it seemed as if the only reason he had been dodging Mitsuhide's attacks was from sheer luck and last minute sounds. And to even get him to ponder such a thing... That means he must be dealing with quite an adversary..._

**Sima Yi:** Ha ha ha! Well done. I've not had a fight like this for quite some time, Akechi. You've shown great skill...in being a complete idiot!

_This time when Mitsuhide reappeared it was directly in front of Yi! In under a blink he slashed downward and at the same time Yi countered by blocking it with his gauntlet. He expected him to be surprised but looking at the cloaked warrior's red eyes he saw nothing. No surprise. In fact, he didn't see anything at all. No fire, no sort of ambition or goal behind his bright red orbs. Just...total apathy. He had to wonder just what this man had really gone through to be like this..._

**Sima Yi:** _Well, now's not the time to be worried with that anyways. As long as I remain calm and stay sharp, I can predict his movements. He seems to use his speed and teleportation ability to overwhelm his foe and send them into a panic. From there they are in an open state from nearly any direction. But my mind is far to experienced to be taken over with such a simple tactic._

**Mitsuhide: **...

_The samurai still hadn't said a word, not even grunted as the two had fought. He seemed dead set on not speaking even now as their weapons locked and they glared into the other._

**Sima Yi:** You can't win! I can see your every move! It's just a matter of time until I-Huh?

_Yi didn't know what to think about this. As their weapons stayed locked against each other, faint blue/blackish affinities began to gather around Akechi and were sucked up into his body. More and more came as a dark blue aura enveloped Mitsuhide and expanded further and further as more were gathered until the action abruptly stopped. Before Yi had time to respond, the dark samurai's blade was wrapped in that same aura like a fire! In fact it burned like one as he pushed further down on his blade. Yi was forced to back off and jump back yet again. But his arm was hurting now... He looked at it and saw that the bottom part of his gauntlet, where he blocked the attack, he been shattered and the skin underneath scorched with a long strip rising up like a blade. If his gauntlet wasn't there that could have easily cut through to the bone. He probably shouldn't block with that hand again..._

**Sima Yi:** Dammit! Just who is this man! He's forced me to back off once again!

**Mitsuhide:** ...*sheaths katana*

**Sima Yi:** Very impressive, Akechi. Indeed you are powerful. But you don't properly use that power. What have you been doing this whole time, since the creation of this world and after you left your lord? Wondering aimlessly, slaughtering and reanimating what's left for no viable purpose? There's no logic to your doing. Why not allow me to help you with that?

**Mitsuhide:** ...

**Sima Yi:** Join me. Join the forces of Wei and you shall have a purpose. And not that of a simple vassal, no, I have something much more in store for you. What say you, Akechi?

**Mitsuhide:** ...*places hand on katana*

**Sima Yi:** I see... You fool!

_Sima Yi immediately unleashed a set of his strings at their target. Before they could make it Mitsuhide had disappeared and instead hit his wicker hat, removing it from his head. Yi morphed his fan once again, changing into a sword. Just in time too as Akechi appeared right before him. He swung his blade at him just as he disappeared yet again. Now he was showing his true speed and teleported all over the forest, from each and every direction leaving him visible for only blink seconds at a time._

**Sima Yi:** Blast! He's all over the place! I can't spot him!

_Mitsuhide appeared above Yi this time and let gravity take its effect as he went down. His blade was ready and about to cut its target's head in halves but was stopped by a wall of twilight colored crystals that shielded him. Akechi teleported again and appeared further away this time, turning his eyes to the newcomer._

**?:** Target...

_The newcomer was a being in almost all black with his sword embedded into the ground. His eyes were locked onto Mitsuhide as he pulled out his katana with his left hand and threw it into the air, catching it with his right. As his sword was removed from the ground the twilight crystals cracked and crumbled into nothing._

**Setsuna:** Acquired.  
**  
******* Samurai - Fan Castle *****

_In the path of the Samurai and Ranmaru a large green clad warrior was fighting a rather spry shadow before the flooded Fan Castle. The warrior was guarding a makeshift bridge made of boats and wood that acted as the only usable means to enter Fan Castle. _

_The stoic ninja was jumping around his target, leaving behind after images as he traveled. Said target was clearly being enraged, stomping and swinging around his oddly bladed spear just moments before the shadow leaped again. The ninja suddenly changed tactics and jolted to his opponent but even with the speed it was blocked. The man then tried to punch his enemy but to no avail as he simply faded away._

**Zhang Fei: **Grah... You're a slippery punk, ain't'cha!

_Fei stomped the ground with such force a blue shockwave emerged in a circle around him, forcing his opponent to leap into the air to dodge._

**Zhang Fei:** Got you!

_The former Shu general swiped his spear above but was only able to slam the shaft of it into Hanzo. Nonetheless the attack knocked him into the ground below. As he hit he bounced into the air and disappeared, reappearing a few steps away and kneeling on the ground from the blow. Zhang Fei could produce some powerful attacks, that went without saying..._

**Ranmaru: **Hanzo!

_Ranmaru and the Samurai quickly ran to Hanzo's side. Samurai had a hand on Masamune as Ranmaru checked out his wound. The ninja didn't seem to appreciate this though and held out a hand to stop the young man, getting to his feet with relative ease. Hanzo nodded as they both took a battle ready stance at the enemy._

**Zhang Fei:** Oh, so there's more of ya. Well that's fine! Zhang Fei of Yan will face you all at once!

**Ranmaru: **Fine with me! Ready?

**Samurai:** No.

**Ranmaru:** Huh?

**Samurai: **Both of you aided me against Keiji. You two go on ahead and I'll handle this fight myself.

**Ranmaru:** But Samurai...

**Samurai: **Don't worry. *swings around Muramasa* I'll win.

**Hanzo:** As you wish.

_Ranmaru reluctantly nodded and proceeded to run past Fei as Hanzo disappeared from thin air. Naturally this didn't go down well with Zhang Fei as he turned and rushed Ranmaru from behind. Fortunately Samurai came up from nowhere and blocked his spear, deadlocking in place as he heard Ranmaru's feet patter against the wood behind._

**Zhang Fei: **Ah, damn! Well it was just that annoying one-eyed kid manning this place so I don't feel too bad about slipping up. But regardless...

_Before the Samurai could react Fei reached and grabbed him by his shirt and threw him behind head first into the dirt. He hit and gridded against the mushy ground and even rolled a few times on his side. That is, until half his body hit a nearby building and the other kept its momentum as he flew into the hard stone wall of yet another building._

_But regardless of all of this Samurai astonishingly got to his feet, though staggering and holding his head with his other hand on the stone building behind. When his eyes came into focus he realize Zhang Fei was charging him! He immediately swung to the side as Fei's blade was jammed stuck into the stone. Samurai thought he had an opening here but nope. Fei simply tore out the spear and swung it at him yet again._

**Zhang Fei:** _Man, what's this guy made of? By all accounts he should be down for the count with that last throw..._

_Fei preformed another upward strike and rushed after him as he jumped back to dodge, waving around his spear like a twig at his foe. All he could do was block the volley of attacks with Muramasa, at least until he regained some ground._

**Zhang Fei: **But anyways, it at least that means this'll be a good tussle!

_Fei smirked as he slammed his blade downward almost making Samurai's arms go numb as he blocked. However not numb enough to take out Masamune and slash the ground below with a shockwave. This caused a big poof of dust to spring out at the warrior and gave Samurai a chance to get out of sight. Fei swiped his spear once and the dust disappeared as he looked around for his opponent._

**Zhang Fei:** Aw, c'mon... Where'd he get too..?

**Samurai:** Lord Zhang Fei!

_Fei turned around completely to see Samurai standing straight up, still catching his breathe with Muramasa in hand._

**Zhang Fei:** Hey, you had a good shot just now. Why didn't you attack me from behind?

**Samurai:** Well you seem like an honorable person, even if you do serve Orochi. So I at least wanted to face you head on when I win!

**Zhang Fei:** Ha! We'll see about that! But when I win I'll try not to kill you in the process! Rragh!

_Zhang Fei charged first but immediately regretted it as the Samurai drew Masamune and slashed a shockwave at his opponent. Regardless of this Fei continued the charge and slapped down the projectile with his spear. He decided a slightly different approached this time and went down, skidding on his knees as he came at the Samurai from low. Though he was a bit surprise the Samurai easily flipped over him, their blades grinding for a moment just before he landed and unleashed Masamune and three shockwaves along with it as each on hit Fei dead on._

_The action died for a bit as the shockwave caused a cloud of dust to rise. Of course this ended as Fei came rushing at more speed than previously shown, grabbing the Samurai by his neck and tossing him forward at a building. Midway the Samurai flipped himself and his feet landed on the side of the stone creation, using it as a footing to spring himself right back toward Fei. Zhang Fei blocked as their blades clashed, the force of impact caused a mini shockwave that bounced even the rain away from them._

_They stayed in place for a while, steel against steel, until the simultaneously backed off and started again with a flurry of continual strike. The Samurai was faster and had more finesse and scored a few nicks against his foe and even got a real nice attack across Fei's armored chest. That's not to say that he didn't get a few shots in himself, though they were minor wounds across the Samurai's body and a few put holes in his clothing._

_After a while their movements became considerably slower. Fatigue from the fierce battle and constant attacks was weighing down quickly. They both jumped back and took a second to catch their breaths. Neither one was expecting a battle this rough here. The warriors nodded to each other as they placed their hands on their respective weapons. They were going to finish this in one final attack._

_They stared off with the only mentioning of sound was that of the rain, pounding across their bodies. The Samurai adjusted his feet slightly as Zhang Fei did the same. Their eyes narrowed as the rush began._

**Samurai: **YAAGH!

**Zhang Fei:** RAAAGH!

_Lightning flashed just in time to blind the view of their blades. As it faded Samurai could be seen in a stance just as Zhang Fei. It seemed to take forever for the blow to take effect as blood gushed out the side of the Samurai's torso. He was holding his gashing wound with Muramasa edged into the mucky dirt as Fei turned around to reveal his left arm with a huge slice across it, one that almost completely cut it in half. His arm was dangling to the side as he panted and hoisted his spear across his shoulder._

**Zhang Fei:** That...was good enough. I'll take my leave now.

_Fei stumbled a few times as he retreated. Even without the use of his arm he should still be able to fight but Samurai was just glad the fight was over. He was panting and coughing up blood, even going as far as to drop his sword. Even through this he was able to bring himself to his feet...only to fall back down into the arms of some female figment he couldn't make out..._

***** Sima Yi & Setsuna - Dark Forest *****

_As Sima Yi came to the realization that he had just been rescued he found himself curious, glaring at this potential ally. A young teen clothed in black and white with an unmistakable blade. It emitted a twilight glow, much like how Mitsuhide's blade did with its azure aura._

**Sima Yi:** Just who are you exactly?

**Setsuna:** I'm Kira "Setsuna" Hiroyuki.

**Sima Yi:** Another one of those Japanese warriors.

**Setsuna:** Yeah, I serve Nobunaga and he told me to go after Mitsuhide Akechi.

**Sima Yi:** Well you found him. I'm impressed that you did in such a place...

_Setsuna didn't reply though. Well he couldn't because he was too busy blocking Mitsuhide's blade. It seemed mentioning Nobunaga's name seemed to spur him into action...that was interesting indeed. What was also interesting was how Setsuna was able to flawlessly block, evade, and counter every attack from Akechi. But he wasn't about to be the helpless victim in this battle! Without warning Yi rushed the dark samurai from behind as he dealt with the boy. His blade swung down at him but somehow he knew it was there. He turned and caught the blade with his bare hand._

**Sima Yi: **How!

_Setsuna slashed once more just as Mitsuhide disappeared. Yi and Setsuna instantly noticed the darkness deepening in the forest. It became so dark in fact that the only reason they could see each other was because of Setsuna's blade._

**Sima Yi:** Damn... He'll try and surprise you by teleporting close to you and then attack. Keep your guard up.

**Setsuna:** That's not what he's doing.

**Sima Yi:** What?

_Setsuna turned and looked at Sima Yi, showing that his eye's iris had grown larger and his pupils smaller. He then turned back and scanned the darkness._

**Setsuna:** This is one of my abilities, Twilight Sight.

**Sima Yi:** Abilities?

**Setsuna:** It allows me to see souls of the dead, living life force, and other things not normally seen by regular people. There are zombies forming all around us so we need to be on guard...

_Setsuna raised out his sword as it was enveloped in a twilight aura and then encased in crystals. As it shattered his katana became a halberd and upon its transformation it was used to hack through a zombie. Yi turned his own way and blasted a hole in one undead. They took a few steps closer as they could now hear the moans of the damned._

**Sima Yi: **_This boy...he knows what he's doing. Does the Demon King have many warriors like this? No, he would only send his best after Mitsuhide. Clearly, this one is simply an oddity. Still, I'm curious to see how he fights._

**Setsuna:** Restless souls of the dead...I will be happy to give you eternal sleep!

_It was so dark Yi could really only see when the zombies were a few inches from striking distance, forcing him to use quick, powerful strikes that cut straight through their bodies. Setsuna didn't have this problem with his ability in progress. As they fought Setsuna extended his hand on several occasions that created a solid white talisman that suspended itself in the air. He did this until there were five talismans all around them in a circle._

_Upon the placement of the sixth talisman in the center Setsuna leaped into the air. His glowing halberd allowed Yi to faintly see him begin a transformation of sorts._

**Setsuna:** Now...return back to the depths of hell...

_His voice had become much lower, almost to a growl. His hair became longer and most notably there was a powerful light aura around his form. He was in the air for so long one could perhaps call it levitation. As he finished he twirled his weapon around over head and stopped with the blade facing downward._

**Setsuna: **EVIL BEGONE!

_Setsuna speared down and slammed his blade into the ground. Sima Yi shielded his eyes as light enveloped him and everything around him. As he reopened his eyes he saw that Setsuna had returned to normal and more importantly, all the zombies around them were dead. However their bodies weren't as rotten and grotesque as before and were almost as if they were alive moments ago. What was really surprising was that he could see them. In fact, Yi could see the forest perfectly._

**Sima Yi:** You, how did you do this?

**Setsuna:** I control twilight, the powers of both light and dark. I use a purification spell from my light abilities and purified the forest and its inhabitants. However...

_Their gaze then fell on Mitsuhide Akechi standing a few feet away from them, still showing no noticeable expression. He threw out his hand as he untied the cloak wrapped around him and tossed it away as the wind caught it. He was in a darkened version of his usual attire. He placed that same hand on the hilt of his katana._

**Setsuna: **It wasn't strong enough to purify him...

**Sima Yi: **And it looks like he's getting serious. Here he comes!

_Mitsuhide ran with lightning speed at the warriors and disappeared at the last second and reappeared behind Yi, striking fast as it was blocked via sword nonetheless. Yi didn't even turn around to perform the block, only smirked._

**Sima Yi:** Now that this darkness isn't distracting me and I've fought you for some time I can predict your every move.

_As he said this Yi had been forming energy in his left hand and aimed it behind him as it shot forth and hit its target in the stomach. Akechi was forced to stagger back. This left him open as Setsuna struck, swinging his halberd down as Mitsuhide blocked just a second before disappearing._

_He reappeared a ways away but was surprised to see both Yi and Setsuna charging him side by side, slashing and hacking away at the samurai as he was forced on the defensive. Since Mitsuhide was so superiorly fast he was able to block each blow but he was losing ground still, backing step by step. He was having trouble._

**Mitsuhide:** ...

_The dark samurai teleported behind the duo and began teleporting in several locations again just like before if not faster than._

**Sima Yi:** You don't know who you are dealing with. You can't use the same move twice, not against ME!

_Yi holstered his sword and crossed his arms as his fist unclenched and ten strings dangled in the wind momentarily. Following this he sent them out and swung them around in multiple directions until one wire hit its target. Almost instantly the nine others came into contact as all the strings were wrapped around Mitsuhide's blade, leaving him stuck like stone._

_Setsuna didn't even have to ask to know now was the time to strike. He dashed to Akechi and attacked. He slashed straight through the side of his opponent and almost split him in two. Yi let his wire return as the samurai landed on his back. He even dropped his sword in the agony. Setsuna turned, waving the blood off his halberd as he prepared the finishing blow._

**Sima Yi:** Wait!

**Setsuna: **Huh, why?

_Yi calmly approached the already dying man. He knelt down and looked into his eyes. Even now in the face of death, nothing. He didn't expect him to say "yes" but regardless he asked._

**Sima Yi:** Mitsuhide Akechi. I'm going to ask you again. Will you not join me on my path?

**Mitsuhide:** ...

**Sima Yi:** I see.

_Yi got to his feet, looking down at Akechi as he spoke._

**Sima Yi**: Mitsuhide, you are clearly capable of more than you know.

_Without even a single warning Sima Yi shot a beam directly into Mitsuhide's chest, right into his heart._

**Sima Yi:** It is unfortunate that you will not see that capability indeed.

_Yi crossed his arms and shook his head in disappointment. He turned to Setsuna as his weapon returned to normal within a flash and he sheathed it._

**Setsuna: **Mission...accomplished.

**?:** MASTER SIMA YI!

**Sima Yi:** Oh dear God...

_Yi only had time widen his eyes as Zhang He collided with him in an elegant embrace complete with radiating butterflies around them. Sima Yi, naturally, was on the verge of barfing and attempted to pry He as far away from him as possible._

**Sima Yi:** GET OFF, GET OFF, GET OFF!

**Zhang He: **-

_Zhang He's dribble was ended as Yi punched him in the face. This also worked to get him off as he immediately pulled out a mirror and check for bruises._

**Setsuna:** o_O

_Yi got up and dusted himself off._

**Sima Yi:** Don't ask. In fact, don't ever speak of that. Ever.

**Setsuna:** Alright then. *blink, blink*

_Zhang He got to his feet just as Cao Ren and Guan Ping arrived on the scene, in tow with the remaining Wei battalion. There were mixed expressions amongst the crowd. Some seemed to be enraged as Guan Ping upon seeing Yi's face alive yet again where as others were as normal and battle hardened as ever, as was Cao Ren._

**Cao Ren: **Master Sima Yi, I see you have succeeded.

**Sima Yi:** Yes, we will not have to worry about this one anymore. Humph, what a complete waste of time.

**Guan Ping:** Is that all this was to you? A waste of time! You left us to die!

**Sima Yi:** On the contrary, I left you to fend for yourselves. I was in more danger myself following this man. I simply took the best choice of action.

**Guan Ping:** Don't try to cover it up! You just don't even care about your own men!

**Sima Yi:** When did I ever imply that I did?

**Guan Ping: **You son of a-!  
_  
__It looked as though the Young Dragon was about to charge Yi but he was halted as Cao Ren extended his hand, shaking his head to order him down._

**Cao Ren: **Guan Ping, you must refrain from such an outrageous behavior in front of your superiors. Master Sima Yi made the right choice even though it is not the choice you or I would have made. That is why he is in the position he is in. If he had not followed this man then he would have escaped and gone to kill again and the lives we lost today would be for naught.

**Guan Ping:** Tch... So you're saying if I want to go anywhere I have to fight for the ends, not the means to get there?

**Cao Ren:** No, that's what you have to do as a strategist. We, the generals and soldiers alike, are the ones who fight for the means.

**Guan Ping:** ...

**Setsuna:** Well spoken.

**Cao Ren:** Thank you. But who are you, if you don't mind the question?

**Sima Yi: **This one helped me against Akechi.

**Setsuna:** You can call me Setsuna, I'm a guy that fights for the means. I'm going to head back to the Oda and inform my lord of success.  
_  
__Setsuna gave a bow to the officers as did they him. With a final nod to Yi he walk through the forest until he was too far to be seen. Ren then turned to Yi._

**Cao Ren: **Akechi, was that the name of this man? I believe I've heard of him before...

**Sima Yi:** He was a former vassal for the Oda. He eventually strayed from that path and now he has been erased.

_Yi turned back and took one last glance at the remains of the samurai. Still laying there as lifeless as ever._

**Sima Yi: **We're done here.

**Cao Ren: **That is good to hear. But if you would approve, my men and I would like to stay behind for a while and give the dead a proper burial.

**Guan Ping: **As would I.

**Sima Yi:** Yes, that's fine. Zhang He and I should be able to return by ourselves perfectly.

_Ren and He bowed, and so did Guan Ping reluctantly, before they went their separate ways. Yi waved for two horses as a black steed came for him and a pretty white one for He. Once mounted they began their steady pace back to Xu Chang._

**Zhang He: **Master Sima Yi, I've noticed that your clothing has taken some damage as well as your gauntlet...

**Sima Yi:** No, I'm not going to let you redesign it.

**Zhang He:** While I would _LOVE_ the chance to redesign your robe I was actually just curious. Was it a hard fight?  
_  
__Yi turned his head slightly and examined his tear just below his right shoulder. Then to his claw. The wound there still stung a bit._

**Sima Yi: **Indeed. Mitsuhide...he was a worthy opponent.

***** Wu Camp *****

_The screen slowly faded in from the Samurai's perspective showing nothing but the sky. The rain had stopped but the skies still haven't cleared quite yet. He blinked a few times to regain his sight fully and put a hand on his side. He had been completely patched up. He must have been out for some time. He leaned up and looked around to find he was in the Wu main camp. He noticed the people around him as well._

**Sakon:** Ah, looks like he's finally up.

**Ai:** Rai-chan! You're okay!

**Samurai:** Yeah, but I'm still a bit sore. Ugh, the last thing I remember is a pretty young girl catching me before I hit the ground.

_This statement warranted a punch to the back of the Samurai's head by Ranmaru as he was the one that caught him. His face was blushing from a mix of anger and embarrassment, crossing his arms and closing his eyes as he spoke._

**Ranmaru: **I came back after Masamune retreated because I thought you might need some help!

**Samurai:** *rubbing his head* Well then thank you Ranmaru. If not for you then I may not be here right now.

**Ranmaru:** That's not a problem. You helped our army without anyone even asking, it was the least we could do.

**Sakon:** And you know, we could always use someone like yourself here. You showed a lot of skill today according to your allies. Even Hanzo spoke of your ability.

_Samurai got to his feet, rubbing the back of his head. His wound healed surprisingly well and it barely at all hurt. He checked his body for other wounds and to make sure he had both his blades sheathed and tied to his waist. Ai got up as well._  
**  
****Samurai:** Sorry, but I don't plan on ever joining one of the resistance forces. I'll go where my aid is needed and that's all. I can't do that if I'm stuck in one place all the time.

**Sakon:** You sure? Well if you change your mind we'll always be ready for you.

**Samurai:** I thank you both for the help. So, I suppose we'll head out. Ready, Ai?

**Ai: **Ready!

_The four bowed to one another and the two left the Wu encampment. They weren't sure where they were going exactly but they had heard of a sengoku village nearby as they moved to check it out._

**Sakon: **Hm...

**Ranmaru:** Something troubling you?

**Sakon:** No, I was just thinking to myself. That girl that hung around the Samurai was telling me a little bit about his past. She was telling me about when she first encountered him...

***** Flashback *****

**Ai:** I wasn't sure what to think when I first saw him years ago. I was walking down a stream near my village and I saw this man in strange cloths that I'd never even seen before and he was lying next to the stream unconscious. I didn't know what had happened to him so I picked him up and brought him back to my village.

**Ai: **The village healer did all he could for him until he woke up. And when he did, he didn't have any memory of who he was or how he lost his memory. All he had on him were the cloths on his back and an orb, broken in two. I thought of the orb as a kind of good luck charm and that he should keep it. He still has it to this day.

**Sakon:** So if he didn't know his name why does everyone call him Samurai?

**Ai:** Well one day our village was attacked by bandits. By this time Rai-chan had been a part of our village for quite some time. But our village was just that, a village, and we didn't have any warriors. So he picked up a katana and slew every single bandit all by himself with a skill he had no idea he had. From that point on everyone started calling him "Samurai" and he defended the village from all sorts of bad guys. There was even a rumor going around that our village had a monster in it because everytime Orochi's army came and tried to ransack it, Rai-chan would always fend them off no matter the odds.

***** End Flashback *****

**Sakon:** Still though, I'm curios as to why they didn't just stay in that village...but I guess that's a story for another time then. C'mon, Ranmaru. I hear some saki calling to us.

***** Xu Chang - Halls *****  
**  
****Nene:** Sima Yi, how could you!

_Sima Yi's face could not be more accurately described than with a "-_-" face. He was forced to get an ear full of Nene's constant whining just before returning to his chambers. In fact he was standing in the door way to his room but her constant nagging would not let up._

**Nene:** Yi, you know better than to leave your men stranded like that! Especially poor Guan Ping, he's just a kid you know!  
**  
****Guan Ping:** Lady Nene please, I'm not a-

_Oh right. He was here too._

**Nene: **You hush!

_Now Nene was in a mix of barking at Guan Ping and himself. It was annoying to have to hear either way you looked at it. But then it occurred to him, he was already at his chambers. He DIDN'T have to listen to this. So he slammed the door shut and locked it for good measure._  
**  
****Nene:** Hey! Don't you lock me out Sima Yi! You get you and your purple dress back out here!

**Sima Yi:** *from behind the door* It's not a dress, it's a robe! An expensive strategist robe! Why the hell do people keep calling this a dress!

_The camera panned away as Nene continued to yell and pound on the door as Guan Ping buried his head within his palm. It lead to Yuan Shao and Cao Ren, engaging in conversation._

**Yuan Shao:** You preformed admirably today, my general! As your reward you may kiss my feet.

**Cao Ren: **...You're not my lord.

**Yuan Shao:** Excellent point. Liege or master is more accurate. Now what were you telling me? You were fighting the zombies and then what?

**Cao Ren: **As I was saying, we were holding our ground against them until the men started to become exhausted. Then suddenly a light enveloped the area and the zombies hit the ground dead...er. Once we returned home Sima Yi explained this was most likely due to the boy I told you about earlier, Setsuna. ...You don't even care do you?

**Yuan Shao:** Not in the slightest.

**Cao Ren:** Then why did you insist I tell you about it?

**Yuan Shao: **Tell me about what?

**Cao Ren:** ...  
_  
__Guo Jia chuckled a bit to himself as he approached the conversation, giving a polite bow to them._

**Cao Ren**: Master Guo Jia, what brings you to this part of the castle?

**Guo Jia:** I just came to check up on the young master Guan Ping and Yi. But it appears that they both have their own little distractions at the moment...

**Sima Yi:** I'm not letting you in!

**Nene:** Open this door immediately before I go into "PUNISHMENT MODE"!

_They kept at this for a while._

**Guo Jia:** So, who was this Setsuna you were speaking of?

**Cao Ren:** The full name is Kira "Setsuna" Hiroyuki. According to Sima Yi he serves with the Oda and has exceptional skill.

**Guo Jia:** Hm... interesting. It's not like Yi to speak well of another. I suspect this won't be the last we'll see of this Setsuna.

***** Samurai & Ai - Hanayuuki Village *****

**Ai: **Wow!

_Samurai and Ai looked on from the gates into the village to see a sengoku styled castle, in fact it was one of the largest they'd ever seen. It must have had nearly 15 stories to it! They took in a moment to gaze at it and examined the other surroundings. Aside from the oversized castle the village seemed rather normal._

**Ai:** *yawn*

**Samurai:** Sleepy?

**Ai:** Mm-hm.

_Samurai looked to the sky and noticed just how late it was by how far the moon was. In fact, he was a bit tired himself. saw a small girl in a pink kimono and approached her, placing a hand on her shoulder._

**Samurai:** Excuse me little girl, could you tell me where the local inn is?

**Girl:** ...Little girl? I have a name you know!

_The Samurai had absolutely no idea that he had just called the most frightening being this side of Japan a "little girl". However he did notice something amiss when she punch him directly in the face. He groaned from the surprisingly strong punch, holding his now bleeding nose._

**Samurai:** W-what's your name then..? -_-

**Tamako: **Tamako!

**Samurai:** Oh, hi Tamako. ^_^

_Tamako responded with a kick to the Samurai's groin._

**Tamako:** HOW DARE YOU CALL ME BY MY NAME! YOU LITTLE POOR RONIN! I AM A PRINCESS!

**Ai:** Rai-chan, are you okay?

_Samurai didn't respond as he was too busy on his knees holding his crotch and writhing in pain. Ai felt as though giving the Princess a mouthful but when she got a good look at those horribly frightening eyes..._

**Ai: **O_O *face turns completely white*

**Tamako:** What are two knaves like you doing in MY village?  
**  
****Ai: **Um, currently we're cowering in fear. O_O

**Tamako:** Hm...well even though you insult me, I've decided to let you come to my castle and spend the night. I need someone to keep me entertained for a while anyways. It get sooo tedious in that castle all day.  
**  
****Samurai**: O_O  
**  
****Ai:** O_O

**Tamako:** What? You do need a place to stay don't you? ...Or is it that you DON'T want to stay in my magnificent castle for some reason!

**Ai:** N-no, no, no, no, no! We'd love to stay with you!

**Tamako:** Great! Let's go then!

_Tamako grabbed the Samurai by his coat and dragged him across the ground as Ai reluctantly followed. This was going to be the start of a truly horrible experience..._

***** Setsuna - Azuchi Castle *****

**Setsuna: **Lord Nobunaga, I've returned.

_Nobunaga slowly repositioned himself in his throne as Setsuna approached him, bowing on his knee once he got within an appropriate distance. Nobunaga smiled slightly upon hearing this._

**Nobunaga:** So you have. And what of your mission?  
**  
****Setsuna:** Mission accomplished.

**Nobunaga:** Mitsuhide Akechi is dead then?

_Setsuna was taken off guard by the blunt question. He thought that his completion already gave him an answer._

**Setsuna:** Well, yes. He is no more.

**Nobunaga:** ...ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!  
_  
__Fade to black as Nobunaga continues to laugh..._

**_*** End of Chapter 9 ***_**_****_

**_*** NW Guide 2: Fangirls ***_**

_The Noble Warriors Guide intro starts with Yuan Shao flying by the screen with rainbows shooting out of his ass and propelling him forward until the entire screen is covered in rainbows. The rainbows are then whipped away by RedRoseFriendly with a muffin. He then eats the now rainbow colored muffin and burps rainbow dust.___

_The camera fades in as the door to Sima Yi's chamber opens up slowly. He quickly sticks his head out and looks around. Only Yuan Shao and Cao Ren were present._

**Sima Yi: **Are they gone?

**Cao Ren: **Indeed, they are.

**Sima Yi:** *steps out completely* Thank Heavens. I swear that ninja is more annoying than Shao.

**Yuan Shao: **But at least she's not as bad as fangirls.

**Sima Yi:** Yes, I agree. Fangirls are unbearable in every sense of the word. I mean, as if we don't have enough trouble with war as soon as we get back we have to jump through wave after wave of them. At first it was kind of nice but now they've gotten to the point of _drawing_ us.

**Cao Ren:** But that in itself isn't all that bad. ...Until they start drawing us in...sexual situations. Then it starts to become creepy.

**Sima Yi:** And perhaps worse is when they write about us. I mean, first they want us naked ALL THE TIME and now their writing us into fantasies, usually where we pair up with their "OCs".

**Yuan Shao:** Or each other.

**Sima Yi:** Yes, or each other. Seriously, do these people have nothing better to do then imagine us naked? Fangirls are sex crazed imbeciles. Honestly all it is with them is relations and naked men. They are worthless, annoying, and I for one will have nothing to do with them.

**PSY:** Mm, Yiii~! Come back to bed we're not out of whip cream yet!

_There was a short silence._

**Sima Yi: **Yes, well...ahem... _ If you will excuse me I have to go do something very hypocritical.

_Yi jolted to his room, slamming the door shut with a "Do not disturb" sign on the doorknob._

**Cao Ren:** Ha ha ha, well at least I can take solace in that I do not give into such temptations.

**Yuan Shao: **...You have Rydain in your room down the hall, don't you?

**Rydain:** Okay, Lu Meng is on his way with reinforcements! Until then it's just you and me, Ren~!

**Cao Ren:** ...Meow!

_There wasn't even a silence this time as Ren bolted down the hallway, trying to change into his Hello Kitty costume at about halfway._

**Yuan Shao:** *sigh* Everyone has a butt buddy but Shao...

_Immediately following this statement Rose slowly peered his head out from the corner behind Shao with a sinister grin. No doubt they would have much butt sex tonight. I mean, a lot. Like, a whole lot. Rose just really likes it up the butt. I could type for hours straight and I still couldn't cover all the weird messed up things these two will be doing.___

_And for clarification, Rose is indeed a guy. Now how do you feel? Probably disgusted. I mean, the bondage Yi is currently going through from PSY/KoeiPrincess/AngelofDeath doesn't even compare. Not even the freaky Hello Kitty gangbang Rydain and Ren are doing comes close. I mean the closest thing you could get would be if Yoshimoto took his Kemari ball to-Actually I'm gonna go ahead and just stop here before I have my audience throwing up their own reproductive organs from the mental images I just shoved into their heads._

**Yuan Shao: **And let it be known that somewhere out there, Data is making out with a Hanzo Hattori blow up doll.

_The Noble Warriors Guide ending begins as a stark nude Yuan Shao runs around on all fours with Rose riding on top, spanking him I might add, a few times before crashing head first into the screen, shattering it upon impact__  
__**  
**_**_*** End of NWG 1 ***_**  
  
Disclaimer: No offense was meant to any fangirl in the creation of this chapter. Aside from that one person who drew Gan Ning naked on DeviantART. I'm trying to look up something badass with him and I see that image like three times! Screw you, ya sick bastard. :(


	10. Chapter 10 The Bat's Melody

**_*** Chapter 10 - The Bat's Melody ***_**

Sparks flew as a black blade crossed with another, smaller blade. A rapier to be precise. Two warriors faced in the training ground of Xu Chang Castle in solitude as each showed their prowess with swift attacks at the other. Sima Yi and Guo Jia locked blades and brought their faces closer together, forcing both of them to crack a smile.

They backed off from the other and simultaneously launched a purple beam and icicle, the attacks hitting themselves and canceling the other out.

They paused in their spar and returned to their starting positions as they spoke. "So Jia," Yi began, "I see you've learned my moves quite well."

"And you have done the same with me it seems." He smiled in response.

"Alright, this time no more holding back!" Yi quickly shot five of his wires at Jia who blocked them with his shield and swiped them down with his blade. However this was a distraction as Yi launched his other five at him, wrapping them around his blade. "Got you!"

"Oh really?" Jia grinned as an icicle spiked up on the strings and severed the hold on his sword. The strings returned to their master as Yi scoffed.

"Not bad, but lets see you try this!" Yi outstretched both arms this time but noticed something was a bit cold. Upon further inspection he noticed that his fingers were frozen together! _"Damn! It was his sword! When the blade came in contact Jia must have channeled his ice into them."_ However he didn't have time to admire the brilliant move as Jia rushed him for the finishing blow. But he wasn't defenseless yet! Yi sent out the chains from beneath his sleeves and ensnared Jia.

Well, partially. They were now face to face again with one of Yi's chains wrapped around the rapier and the other around Jia's neck. "Looks like I win." Yi smirked.

"Maybe, maybe not." Jia remarked as the chain around his blade was engulfed in ice, along with Yi's entire left arm. "If you were to take the killing blow against me, you'd lose an arm."

"Ah yes, but I'd still be the victor."

"If you can call that a victory."

"Well, a partial one I admit but nonetheless, a vic-"

"AWWW, LOOK HOW CLOSE AND LUVY DUVY THEY ARE!"

Yi tried but failed to hide the embarrassment marks on his cheeks and jolted his head to his side to see Nene, smiling and waving as cheerfully as possible...along with Yuan Shao. Only he was holding a tiny flag with a chibi Sima Yi on it and cheering him on.

"You can do it, mah boi!" Shao roared through a microphone, even though it was completely unnecessary. "Show him those skills I taught you against the Yellow Turbans!"

"YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME A DAMNED THING YOU RETARDED INGRATE! And how the hell did you get in here!" His mix of enraged and embarrassed roar now turned to Fang standing by the entrance, "Fang, I ordered you not to let anybody in here!"

"But-Lady Nene is a ninja! I couldn't stop her sneaking past me!"

"And what about Yuan Shao!"

"Who's Yuan Shao?" Fang was immediately drilled with a laser that sent him into the wall.

"You're not going to start doing that too!"

By this time both Yi and Jia had lowered their weapons. Jia also freed his friend by dispersing the ice afflicting him. He chucked as he sheathed his blade, "Now come now, I don't know why you're letting such a simple remark bother you, Zhongda."

"Pfft. I just don't like being intruded upon while training."

"Why not, Sima Yi?" Nene asked as she hopped over to the strategist. "No ever gets to see you train!"

"That is because I do it in private."

"Why?"

"Because I don't need fools like you gawking at me during so!"

"Why? :D"

Yi stopped and turned to the person that asked the question. Shao was immediately blasted with a laser.

"Awww," Nene pouted, crossing her arms at Yi. "You're no fun, Sima Yi. When are you going to finally open up to someone besides Guo Jia?"

"I DO NOT open up to anyone, not even Fengxiao. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm done for today."

Yi waved at Fang to follow him as he proceed to the exit, Nene shouting at him all the while.

"Sima Yi, you can't hide from your feelings forever! One day they'll come out! HUMPH!" Nene turned back to Jia and sighed, "I just don't see how he can be so insecure."

"Lady Nene," Jia conjectured, "Men don't typically like to talk about their emotions."

"Nu-uh! Zhang He, Yuan Shao, and Guan Ping always talk to me about their feelings!"

"Yes, well, Zhang He doesn't really count as a man. And to get Guan Ping to speak you usually have to give him a lecture about 'sharing' for 45 minutes and by that time Yi has already left the room. And as for Yuan Shao..."

Jia and Nene both looked to see Yuan Shao punching himself in the face repeatedly for no explainable reason whatsoever.

"...Yeah, let's not even go there with this one."

***** Shikoku *****

The sky was turned a dark purple color, the shores were tainted with the blood of the dead, and the island Shikoku has been torn and disfigured. Two sides fought for the island as it was covered in more and more blood...

"My men fight for my honor and the honor of our island. My men have died on this island."

A lone figure stood before a huge mass of Orochi's army, a slender man holding a shamisen. A large iron shell landed close to him and exploded, leaving a crater behind. The explosion was so close it caused his hair and cloths to wave in the wind momentarily. However he still did not move, even as the snake army charged him.

"The wave of the serpent comes, attempting to sweep me and this island into the void."

He gripped his instrument tightly and brought his pick to the sky as another shell landed directly in front of him.

"And yet no matter how strong the tide I will resist! If it is my fate to be swallowed by the Serpent King, then I shall. But!"

The man growled as he ran the pick through each strings, firing blue shockwaves into the center of the enemy army. The shockwaves tore straight through them.

"None shall forget the name Motochika Chosokabe! And none shall forget the resistance of his army of bats! Onward!"

The camera moves behind Motochika to show his own army of Shikoku warriors, charging ahead of him to meet the army head on.

"This will be the greatest struggle my army has ever faced..."

***** Orochi Camp - East Shikoku *****

Meanwhile at the east side of the island giggling could be heard. That is to say Da Ji's giggling as she skipped around the Orochi main camp. The guardsmen could tell she was happy about something and it even helped to raise morale a bit. The fox stopped her skipping as she approached two humans clad in red, awaiting orders.

"Tell me Sun Quan, what do you think of this battle?" She smiled at the man as she leaned forward on the air itself, chin across her wrists. (Technically she was just levitating part of her body.)

"I think it's foolish for anyone to try and resist Orochi. These islanders are just making it worse on themselves." Whether or not Quan really meant that or if he was just saying it remains to be seen.

"Good answer...but not the one I'm looking for. Shang Xiang, what about you?"

"I think that this battle shouldn't be happening... I don't want another needless slaughter..."

Da Ji pouted momentarily at Shang Xiang's thoughts. "Well you're going to have to get over it anyways. I don't need to remind you about your-"

"No." She interjected, "You don't."

The fox shrugged it off and skipped a few more paces before turning back to her slaves-er, allies. "What this battle is, is a test!"

"You're testing us?"

"No, no, no. Not a test for you. A test for that." Da Ji waved her hand and pointed to something far to the back of the camp, guarded by two Orochi officers. The object was a mirror. Granted it was larger than your regular mirror, it was about the size of a cannon and had to be rolled in. The mirror was made of stone, aside from the glass of course, and had words scribed around the rim of the glass. However it was in some odd language and couldn't be read. It was rolled in on a stand, also with my unrecognizable symbols along the wood and a few talismans with similar ones.

"Hehehehe, I can't wait to really get the party started with this! Now, what I want you two to do for this is to go protect the rest of those mirrors."

"There are more?"

"Yes there is. Two, besides this one. And we need them all working. Now Sun Quan, you go north from here, Shang Xiang, you go south. There are camps already set up inside garrisons and men place around them. I'll defend the one here myself. Now hop to it!"

Quan and Shang Xiang both bowed and headed their separate ways but were halted as Da Ji waved once again.

"Oh, and make sure to get a good view of the battlefield when the show starts! Trust me, you don't want to miss it."

They reluctantly nodded and continued. As Shang Xiang left Da Ji's camp she was greeted by Ina, a friend she'd made during her time working for Orochi. They both looked to make sure no one was around and came close.

"Did you do it, Ina?"

"Yes. No one noticed."

"Good...then maybe we won't have to fight if someone comes."

"Don't worry, I'm sure someone will come."

"Okay... Now hurry, we have to report to our post!"

Ina nodded and followed Sun Shang Xiang to the southern camp.

***** Xu Chang - Castle Rooftop *****

"Aaahh." Bells jingled against the wind as a lone pirate lay back down across the highest roof of Xu Chang. "I love this wind. Actually, it kinda makes me miss the open seas..." But like most calm situations in war times it was soon interrupted at the sound of someone screaming. Gan Ning instantly rolled to a crouching positing, eying the castle grounds. Just ahead of the main gate was a lone man in blue. He figured he'd be fine but it's not like he had anything better to do today.

Ning hopped off the ceiling and began running straight down the very castle wall at an impressive speed. He had to jump over a window and scared the hell out of an officer that happen to be looking out of it at the time. As he reached the ground he skidded his feet to slow himself down and them flipped to where he'd land on his hand, springing himself back to his feet. That last bit was actually kinda unnecessary but it looked cool and it was fun to do. He got to the main stairs and yelled at the guards to open the gate as he slide down a section that wasn't steps.

They weren't able to open the doors all the way by the time Ning got there but it was enough for him to speed through it. As he got closer to the downed man he realized he didn't recognize the cloths he had on. He wasn't Wei. Even still he leaned down and lifted up his head to speak.

"Hey, are you okay? What happened?"

The man breathed heavily through the veil hiding his face from nose down before answering, "Urgent...Shikoku..."

"Hey, hey, catch your breath first." The pirate turned to the guards and yelled, "What the heck are you doin' just standin' there? Go get this man a stretcher or something, jeez!"

Both the guards immediately ran to get aid as the injured man started to come around. He spoke once again, though occasionally taking a break to breath between words, "I have brought an urgent message from the island of Shikoku... The Chosokabe army has been attack by Orochi's forces! If they do not receive reinforcements soon..!"

Ning nodded as he went on but turned away as the guardsmen returned with two more men carrying a stretcher. "Okay, take it easy. They're gonna fix you up." He waved for them helped load the man. As they were about to take him away he grabbed his arm.

"Shikoku...is to the east...You must...send help..."

"Don't worry," The pirate made a thumbs up and pointed to himself with it, smirking, "Gan Ning never fails! I'll make sure we'll save your friends!"

"Thank you..."

He watched as they carried him away and was about to go straight to Cao Pi but something stopped him. He noticed something bright glaring at him on the ground. He turned to pick it up...

***** Xu Chang - Hallway *****

Outside the medic room were six individuals, calmly waiting for someone to come out and tell them the situation. Gan Ning had his back up against the wall just beside the door with Nene and Yuan Shao beside him. For some reason Yuan Shao didn't have his helmet. Odd. Anyways Cao Pi was standing on the other side of the door and Sima Yi with Guo Jia further down the hall.

Everyone tuned in as they heard the door open. They all turned to see Fang exit the room, bowing to them all.

"Fang?" Yi said, surprised. "You work in medicine?"

"I know enough to get by." He replied, "Now as for our patient, it appears he is a ninja for the Chosokabe. He said he was sent to the main land just as the battle began to seek help against the Orochi army."

"Yeah, we know that part already. What about his condition?" Gan Ning mentioned.

"My apologize. His condition is not very well. To avoid detection he had to swim to the main land all on his own. After that he had to run to find the nearest military force. So basically, he's suffering from extreme exhaustion. He also said something about being hit in the head by falling gold which probably caused some damage..."

"Yeah," Ning raised his hand to reveal Yuan Shao's helmet. "I'm pretty sure this is what he meant."

"MY HELMET! :D" Shao swiftly snatched his helm back and fitted it on his head.

"Why was that flying through the air anyways?"

"Hm...I can't seem to remember..."

Fang took a glance over to his master whom returned the stare...

*** Flashback - Sima Yi's Chambers ***

Sima Yi could be seen sitting at his desk, writing on various papers and scrolls that his tasks would demand. It was a particularly calm evening...until the sound of breaking glass was heard. Yi looked up from his work to see Shao had just broken a china tea cup.

"Sorry."

Yi signed and messaged his temples. He REALLY didn't want Shao here but he refused to leave now matter what. Ignoring the break he returned to his work for a good while...until Shao poked his head over Yi's shoulder.

"So...what are you doing?"

"Work."

"What kinda work?"

"Military."

"What kinda military work?"

"The kind that will maim you if you don't shut up."

"Is that an important kind?"

"..."

Meanwhile Fang was enjoying a nice silence while he watched the door to Yi's room. Enjoying it until a purple laser beam blasted a hole straight through the wall, and the one beyond that. Yuan Shao immediately ran out of the room, dropping his helmet in the process. Fang reached down and picked it up as Yi approached him.

"Um, sir, would you like me to return this to him?"

"Forget this." Yi snapped as he took the helmet and threw it out the same hole he made. "Just get someone to fix these walls, it leads all the way outside."

***** End Flashback *****

"Ahem," Yi interrupted, "Th-that doesn't matter at the moment. I believe we have more pressing matters? What did he say about the Orochi force?"

"The Orochi force is led by Da Ji, and some members of the Wu army are with them, the ones that haven't defected from Orochi yet. They also have a small navel force surrounding the island. Four armored ships, loaded with cannons and stationed in an X formation around the island. Their armies size roughly outnumbers the Chosokabe by the thousands, if not more."

"Awfully detail, don't you think?"

"Well, duh!" Nene grinned and proudly placed her knuckles to her waist. "He's a ninja, just like me, so it's his duty to learn that kinda stuff!"

"Huh, I wouldn't compare him to you. That'd be an insult."

"Why thank you! ...Wait, an insult to me or him?"

"So, Cao Pi what are your orders at this point? Do we aid them?"

"HEY! Don't ignore me!"

"Hm..." Cao Pi thought to himself for a while. He didn't like the idea of going out of his way for a force he knew nothing about...but he did like the idea of stamping out Da Ji. Besides, maybe they'll decide to join Wei after the battle and further increase Wei's power. "Very well. Sima Yi, you shall lead with Guo Jia, Nene, and Gan Ning with reinforcements for the Chosokabe. Fang, you remain and see what you can do for our ninja friend."

"My lord!"

"Alright now lets mo-"

"HOLD!"

Cao Pi sighed. "What is it, Shao?"

"I'm going too! My noble honor will not allow me to leave someone stranded in need! Troops, let's move out!"

Yi turned to Pi. He could tell just by looking at his eyes that he DID NOT want this. But all Cao Pi did was shrug. "I'll give you and Guo Jia full command of the force, Sima Yi. If you have preparations to make, make them quickly. There are boats docked in a small base just east of Xu Chang. Lucky for us Xu Chang was moved closer to the ocean when Orochi twisted the land so it won't take too long at all for you to reach Shikoku."

"Understood."

"Good. Now move out!"

***** Shikoku - Northeastern Garrison *****

Sun Quan walked inside his camp, waving and directing his soldiers for defense. As he did so, Zhou Tai walked beside him. "My lord..." He began, "You are worried."

"Yes. You know me too well Zhou Tai." Quan crossed his arms, "I hate working for that woman...but I must. I've worked with her so often now, I know when something bad is about to happen..."

The two turned and looked towards the mirror stand that was identical to the one in Da Ji's camp. Suddenly, it began moving on it's own as it aimed at an angle toward the sky.

"And trust me, whatever that is...it's bad."  
**  
******* Shikoku - Sea Side *****

An iron clad boat floated not far from the island of Shikoku, black with a golden snake etched into the side to show it was of the Orochi army. It had cannons loaded on its sides and at the bow for bombardment. Members of the army slithered along it, loading shells to be fired upon the Chosokabe army. That is until one soldier happened to see something off the corner of his eye. He turned out to sea to find the distraction as his face was covered in fright.

"C-c-captain! Look!"

The captain stepped out of his hold and looked on with a similar feeling. Out on the sea, coming up on the island was a massive naval force, donning a blue flag with the Wei symbol on it. "There's so many! There must be at least fifty ships!" The captain turned to his crew, "Halt your attack on the Chosokabe! Commence fire on the Wei navy, now, NOW!"

The sailors did so as cannon fire rained down on the Wei ships, some missing and others only taking off parts, but most hit their targets as the ships went down one by one. In fact, many ships went down with minimal effort.

"Cease fire!" The captain studied the ships as they drew closer. Something was up... They weren't even trying to evade the shells! And there were no bodies drowning beside the ships or swimming to another! Not even now as silence filled the air, there were no screams of fear or death. Just the sound of bells jingling.

...Wait.

The captain turned just in time to see Gan Ning's Sea Master blade tear through his chest.

"Heh. When you hear the bells, you're already dead." Ning took a moment to marvel at his work, the entire crew had already been slaughtered by his elite troops. He turned and looked out to sea at three particular ships. They were completely identical to the others, save for a small blue flag placed on the bow. Ning whistled, signaling that the coast was clear.

Out of those three ships came Sima Yi from the middle, Guo Jia from the right one, and Yuan Shao and Nene from the left. Yi smiled as he saw some of the ships that escaped the fire slam onto the beach. _"Ingenious."_ He thought, _"Using empty ships as decoys while Gan Ning ambushes the enemy, leaving clean sailing for the actual Wei forces."_

"Ingenious, Fengxiao!" He looked to Guo Jia with a slick grin as he replied with a humble smile. They had to talk a bit loudly to get their voices across to the other. "It will take some for us to reach the shore and join the battle! But until then..."

"Alright boys, SMASH 'EM!" Ning crackled as he commandeered the iron warship and began firing further inland at the Orochi advance force, causing numerous casualties.  
**  
******* Shikoku - Chosokabe Army *****

**_"FEEL THIS!"_**

Motochika ran his pick through his strings, erupting in wave after wave of shockwaves that flowed into the oncoming Orochi army, keeping them at bay as his army fell back. Following the attack he dropped to his knee, panting, "So many...where do they gain such numbers?"

The Chosokabe army has been pushed to the brink. Through overwhelming numbers, bombardment from sea, and having their own cannons taken from them and then turn against them, they have been forced to fall back all the way to the main camp. If they retreat any further then they would have to jump into the sea... Luckily, most of the cannon fire wasn't able to reach this far into the island. It was perfect for a last stand.

"My lord!"

Motochika got to his feet as a messenger approached him, bowing in respect. "My lord, we have finished our withdraw! And also, we have spotted a naval force approaching Shikoku baring a banner we've never seen before!"

"Does this mean...reinforcements? But how? My army has not left the island, how would anyone-"

Motochika's words were cut short as the loud sound of a cannon ball crashing into the Orochi army encroaching upon then was heard. The cannons put an instant dent in the enemy ranks and the ones that were lucky enough to evade were panicking. Soon after, an even louder boom filled the air as another shell hit and caused several other explosions immediately after. Following this, another messenger came to Motochika.

"My lord, one of Orochi's own ships has begun firing on it's own army! They have also fired upon the cannons placed on the south shore, destroying them!"

"I see... With that out of the way we can finally press the attack and advance southward. It seems that fate wishes for the bat to take flight once again. Ready the army to advance! We attack the Orochi army now!"

"Yes sir!"

***** Orochi Southeast Garrison *****

"Lady Shang Xiang, Lady Shang Xiang!" A frantic Wu soldier rushed to Sun Shang Xiang's side, almost forgetting to bow. "My lady, Wei navy has approached the Shikoku shores! We believe they took over one of out ships and have begun firing our cannons against us! We have suffered severe casualties and the south shore cannons have been lost! They will dock any minute!"

"Oh no, this is bad... Tighten the defenses around the base! We have to be ready for an attack at any second!"

The soldier nodded and rushed to do as ordered, leaving Shang Xiang by herself as Ina approached her. She leaned closer as they whispered.

"See, Shang Xiang? I told you someone would come."

"Yes. I can't believe that man you sent was able to swim all the way to shore!"

"That man was one of the most useful Iga ninjas, Toranosuke Aoyama, next to Hanzo himself. I knew he wouldn't let us down."

"The Wei ships have made land!" A watchman shouted from his post, "The Wei ships have made land!" However even as he shouted it was something else that caught the attentions of the two women warriors. The mirror they were instructed to guard began moving on its own, turning on its hinges until the glass reflected against the sun. The two looked at each other with a worried expression...  
**  
******* Shikoku Shore - Wei Army *****

Sima Yi was the first to step onto the beach, a smirk as he glared at a number of enemy troops gathered around his entrance point. He looked behind him at his unit, arrayed in perfect rank and file behind him on the boat. He then began to...snicker. Starting with a chuckled until it erupted into a full blown laugh.

"Hahahahahahaha! End these imbeciles!" The soldiers raised their arms high to reveal their bows and arrows, as the men on the other boats did the same. The enemy troops instantly broke line and fled but it was too late as the arrows fired and rained down on them, silencing them all for eternity.

Yi stepped onto the island, kicking away a helmet close to his foot. The troops switched back to their usual blades and spears as Guo Jia, Nene, and Yuan Shao did the same. They gathered around to discuss the next phase.

"From the looks of things the Chosokabe aren't holding up very well." Yi began, "It looks like Da Ji forced them to fall back quite a ways. Our first priority is to link up with them. Gan Ning will go around the island by sea and ambush the remaining ships that surround the island with cannons. Naturally he has halted his own cannon fire. This will clear the way for our advance. Now until we meet up with Motochika we must stay-"

"Excuse me, Yi." Jia interrupted as he pointed a ways into the island, "But I believe they have already linked up with us."

Yi turned and saw that he was correct. The Chosokabe army was already advancing down to them before they had even docked. Quite impressive really. A single glimmer of hope and he turned his entire force around to attack the enemy. At the head of the army was something he didn't expect however. A slender man on foot approached them as his army halted. He was definitely interesting to look at and not exactly someone you'd peg for a leader. Still, the same could be said of Liu Bei and look how he turned out.

The leader of the bats gave a bow to Yi as he did the same. "I am Motochika Chosokabe, ruler of this island. I must thank you for your aid."

"I wouldn't advise that. I'm only here because my lord has ordered it."

"Nonetheless, many more of my men would surely have died today if not for your intervention. And for that you have my thanks."

"Humph. I am Sima Yi, the man to my right is Guo Jia, and the other two, well, they're not really important."

"HEY!" Nene roared, "How dare you not give us an introduction!"

Yuan Shao on the other hand chuckled, "Fear not. For I shall introduce us! Ahem..."

_"Who am I?"_

As Shao grinned a sparkle appeared in his teeth and the background suddenly changed to pitch black with a spotlight on Yuan Shao. The camera spun around Shao as he spoke.

**"I am the spectacular, the noble, the superduperubermega-"**

"NO!"

Yi's voice abruptly ended Yuan Shao's opening sequence as the background shattered to its original form. Yi sighed and shook his head before continuing.

"The woman's name is Nene. And the golden buffoon is Yuan Shao. We are the men from Wei and we are hear to provide support to the Chosokabe."

"Good. Together we shall vanquish the snake from this island and reclaim Shikoku!"

"Indeed. Now, what can you tell me of the battlefield's current condition?"

"The cannons are the worst problem. They prevent our march from gaining much ground. The Orochi army harbors still many snakes, though their numbers have been diminished. There are three garrisons to the east and the commander could be in any one of those."

"I see. Ha. We'll have won this battle within a few hours."

"You sound confident."

"I AM confident. I already have someone taking care of the cannons. The numbers are nothing against a superior mind and an elite army. And to deal with the missing commander, I recommend we split up. We need to defeat Da Ji as soon as possible. As soon as she retreats, so to will her army."

"One of the camps can be reached by following this path along this shore. The other two will require us to take this path leading north. Then there is a path that breaks off to another garrison, continue to following and you will find the final path that leads to the northernmost garrison."

"Hm..." Yi looked on at the mentioned path and noticed what seemed like a garrison a pretty good ways off. "Very well... Nene, I'll let you take care of this one. Da Ji probably isn't in it anyways. If she was this close she'd have seen our arrival and moved elsewhere. But then again she is quite stupid so you never know. Besides, you and your kunoichis should be able to handle this, correct?"

"Hehe!" Nene giggled at a chance to shine, even so far as to hop a little bit. "Not a problem! Don't you worry, I'll tear apart anything unfortunate enough to be in that base! C'mon, ladies!" Nene vanished instantly as the other kunoichis did the same.

"Psychotic little thing, isn't she Sima Yi?" Jia asked with a chuckle.

"I like to think of her as more downright insane, but to each his own." Yi replied with a small smile, "Now, Motochika. We shall begin our march to the other garrisons from here. Lead the way."

"Of course." Motochika turned to his men and raised his pick high, "My loyal bats, it has come time to bare your fangs! Let the enemies blood fill the island of Shikoku!" His army cheered as the bat ran his pick down his strings and headed north, where they would face the enemy. Motochika promptly joined the charge.

"Hm. He's definitely a leader, that Chosokabe. Well, let's not be left behind." Yi motioned to the army as they followed in step.

***** Orochi Main Camp - Da Ji *******  
**  
"My lady! My lady Da Ji!" A messenger approached Da Ji, scrambling to bow as several troops in the background ran to their battle positions, almost in a panic. "We've confirmed the enemy reinforcements as Wei forces! Sima Yi is leading them!"

"..."

"Th-they are pushing our forces back as we speak! And we've lost contact with our armored ships! They will be upon us in any minute! My lady!"

"...Hehehehehe..."

"My lady..?"

"Hahahahahaha! Oh, this is perfect!" Da Ji couldn't look happier. Despite the enemy about to rain down on her she's just as happy as can be. Hell, she could barely hold back her laughter. "You just tell the men to sit back. The show is about to start..." Da Ji turned to watch as the ancient mirror begun moving on its own, positioning itself at an angle at the sky.

"We're about to bring the house down."

***** Center Shikoku - Wei-Chosokabe Army *****

Motochika was really rocking it out, gracefully I might add. Pluck after pluck, wave after wave shot forth in various burst of attacks, sending the enemy troops flying. The enemy dared not come close to him.

Yi really had to try to actually keep up, taking large sweeps with his wires that gashed tears straight into any enemy around him. Yi and Chosokabe both took a leap back to dodge an attack and they were back to back before they knew it.

"You know, Chosokabe, I believe I may have seen you the wrong way before." Yi released several beams in a row, taking down multiple foes, "You've got what it takes for a leader. The sense to keep your men alive through a crisis and even the combat ability to back it up."

Motochika released a number of small purple bubbles that levitated towards the enemy, only activating after he rang his strings as they exploded in a blast. "The flattery is nice, though rather unnecessary. I often found such praise as a distraction."

"Oh? I don't believe I ever said I was praising you." Yi impale his wires into a handful of troops and smirked, "I was merely stating facts aloud."

Motochika snickered at the response. "Hm?" However his attention was caught by the clouds. The demonized sky around his island expanded as the clouds showed the sun and all its glory. The entire battle halted as each pair of eyes glared up. Three rays appeared from the three bases the Orochi/Wu forces were camped in, rays of light reflecting from the mirrors inside them as the rays meet in the sky and blotched out the sun in a purple light that covered the entire island. From Gan Ning's raid on the final armored ship to Nene's siege on the southern garrison, all eyes were up in the air.

Mouths were agape as symbols appeared in the sky, symbols the likes of which mortals had never seen. As the symbols faded into the sky a circle was burned around them in a powerful crimson flame. Suddenly, a huge arm punched its way our from the center of the circle and shattered the symbol like glass, a red reptilian arm with black claws that drove its way out and latched onto the edge, not at all effected by the ring of fire. Soon enough another arm of the same design forced out and took hold of the opposite side of the ring. Between the two arms fire came from the circle, a red flame unlike any other. Followed after...was a roar. This was no normal roar. This was like nothing you'd never heard before.

"What... What the hell is that!" One soldier managed to shout, "Is it-! IS THAT A-!"

Now and even more powerful roar boomed throughout the battlefield as the creature came flying out at full velocity, showing its form for all to see!

"DRAGOOON! IT'S A DRAGON!"

Yes, that's right, a huge red dragon flue around the island as the crimson wheel vanished in sparks. The dragon's black eyes quickly recognized it's enemies and swooped down on the Chosokabe army below, grabbing a handful in its claws and dropping them to their doom moments after as it roared once again.

Elsewhere Da Ji could never dream to hide her malicious grin. She loved this. Watching the dragon fly by, burning the island and the enemy forces below. Sure, some of her troops got caught in the crossfire but who cares? Now she has a dragon at her disposal! A dragon, honey! "Oh, this is magnificent... Simply stupendous!"

"Chilong, Dragon of the Demon World. He was sealed away by the mystics for causing too much havoc on the human world. All he wants is to continue his rampage. But since I'm the one who freed him." The fox raised her hand and waved it around as the dragon followed its motion further off, displaying its acrobatic skills. "Simply magnificent! Now, destroy them Chilong! Slaughter every last one of them now!"

And Chilong did so. The mythical beast burned everything around it until it caught sight of the center. Its eyes seemed to lock onto Motochika Chosokabe as he zoomed straight down at him. Motochika didn't have time to respond, not between the shock of having his land, his people, burned all around him, and oh yes, the freakin' dragon itself! By the time he realized Chilong was moving in for another attack he was too close to dodge...so instead, one of his own officers pushed him out of the way of the flames just in time. Motochika escaped with just feeling the heat from the attack. The one who saved him, well...

"TADASUMI!" Motochika rushed to his knees beside his vassal, forcing himself to turn his head away. What was left of Tadasumi Tani was too burnt up to properly describe... He looked around, more of his soldiers were burnt in similar fashion. "Chikanao...Takayori..." He recognized the faces of more of his men. This was a sorrow he had hoped to never grow familiar with...

And now we finally return to Sima Yi. He was still a bit out of it himself. "Was that...really a dragon? Such a thing should only exist in legend!" Yi turned around and saw his army, Jia, Shao, and at least more than half of the Chosokabe army had remained alive. But that's not to say they didn't lose their fare share of men just now. On the upside, a good portion of the Orochi advance force died in the dragons assault. The rest had already retreated. Yi turned to the daimyo of Shikoku.

"Motochika-"

"I know." Yi was surprised as Motochika got to his feet, glaring above as the dragon circled around menacingly. "I cannot allow myself to be halted to mourn the dead. I have a duty to fulfill. And I must fulfill that duty so that the deaths of these men are not in vein."

"I see... You sound like you'd enjoy a bit of payback then. Which is good because I've just concocted a plan, one that could definitely use some assistance."

"What kind of plan is that?"

"One that will sound a bit insane and probably result in our deaths."

"...I'm listening, cautiously..."  
**  
******* Southern Garrison - Wu Army *******  
**  
"I can't believe it." Ina said, starstruck as she looked to the sky, "I mean, a dragon!"

"I don't know...oh, this is horrible..." Sun Shang Xiang felt awful to say the least. They went through all the trouble of sneaking an informant to get help but they just ended up getting more people killed.

Ina could tell what was wrong with her friend. She didn't feel too well about it either. Wanting to put her mind on something else for a moment, she turned to the watch guard stationed atop the gate. "Guard, how goes the enemy advance? Guard?" It was odd, she was looking right at the guard but he wouldn't answer her.

However she found out why as the guard fell back off the tower and hit the ground hard, a kunai sticking out of his chest. "Quickly, everyone, battle stations!"

Ina readied her bowed and aimed, awaiting the enemy to come through the gate as the soldiers within did the same with swords as did Shang Xiang. Yeah, this is _just_ what she wanted... Now that they were being attacked, they had to fight back in earnest, for her father's sake.

"Where are they..?" Ina wondered as the gate remained shut. She was taken by surprise as Nene jumped clean over the gate, flipping through the air before landing perfectly just as her army of kunoichis did the same. The kunoichis instantly went to town against the Wu army and Nene disappeared to avoid Ina's arrow, reappearing right in front of her as her daggers were blocked by Shang Xiang. Nene was forced to jump back.

"Two against one? Someone needs to teach you to play fair!" Nene grinned as she split into three of herself, reading for another go as they all spoke, "And I think we can teach you that lesson just fine!"

Ina retaliated in surprise with about six arrows, all of witch where evade as the Nenes rushed their targets. One Nene latched her arms onto Shang Xiang's waist and jumped, spinning through the air before slamming Shang Xiang onto the ground. Ina didn't take too well to this as she flipped back into the air and released three powerful waves from her bow. The Nenes were just barely able to disappear in time to avoid.

Now Ina couldn't find her target, and Shang Xiang was still recovering and unable to help... She closed her eyes and stood straight up, taking in her surroundings and using everything her father had taught her. In an instant her eyes opened and her bow was able to block Nene's daggers as she reappeared behind her.

"Whoa!" Nene was genuinely impressed as the female archer took the offensive and struck with her bladed bow. Nene blocked well enough to keep from any damage and she was in high spirits because she still had two little helpers. And right on cue they appeared in a flash, right next to Ina as they attacked at once. Amazingly, she was able to block one set of blades with her bow and slide her slender frame past the others.

The Nenes attacked Ina from three sides yet with swift moves and precise attacks she was able to evade until she found an opening, slicing her bow horizontally as the two clones were cut down by a single strike. She immediately swung around and slashed the last Nene, but just in time for her to disappear.

But this time Ina was ready to respond even quicker than before. She loaded her bow and turned, arrow aimed high as she released and it found it's mark, nailing Nene directly in the chest as she reappeared. The attack sent her falling to the ground, rolling a bit before stopping face down.

And then she disappeared in a cloud of smoke!

"What!" Ina looked around for the real Nene but couldn't find her! She jerked around until she felt a barrage of piercing sensations along her back and shoulder. Afterward, she fell to the ground completely immobile. "What...did you..?" Ina struggled to get the words out in between grunts and attempts at moving, none of which were effective.

"Hey, it worked!" Nene exclaimed, "How do you like it? It's this paralysis move I've been working on. All I do is his several pressure points one after the other with my fingers and pop, enemy can't move! Pretty neat, huh? ^_^"

"Of course," She continued, "It'll wear off after a while. Sigh, but from the looks of things Da Ji isn't here. So I guess-"

**_CRASH!_**

The ground shook and debris flue as Nene almost paniked at the shock. "What the heck was that!" She didn't have time to realize just what had happened. But as she looked back to the gate she entered, she noticed it was smashed down and crumbling. What the hell did that?

***** Northern Cannon Fortress *****

"Magnificent..." One Orochi officer stated as he stared at the dragon above, displaying its power to all. With such a powerful beast the Orochi army would be unstoppable! The only thing that threw this situation off is the sound of ringing bells.

...Wait.

"You know," Gan Ning said, smirking as he stood over the recently slain snakes. "You really shouldn't take your eyes off the battlefield, no matter what goes on!"

"W-WAIT!" The officer reached for his blade but in the time it took him to get his hand to the hilt, Ning's blade already sliced through his body.

"Huh." Ning flicked the blood off his sword as the body of his target hit the floor, hand still on the hilt. "Hey, at least you got to your sword. That's better than most!" He looked around to see his team around him. He only had a few men with him now since he left the majority on the armored ships to work the cannons. "Alright, now lets-hey, hold on..."

"Gan Ning!" Sima Yi called as he and Motochika ran inside the small fortress. "I need your assistance for a plan. A plan to deal with that." He pointed to the sky at Chilong.

"What, just the two of ya? Where's your army? And whose this guy anyways?"

"We didn't need them for this. Just listen to my plan..."

***** Central Shikoku - Guo Jia *****

Guo Jia watched as Zhongda, Motochika, and Yuan Shao left for the northern cannons. He was left in charge of the bulk of the force to lead the attack on the eastern garrison. Yuan Shao left with his army to break off from Yi and Motochika and attack the north eastern garrison. Now, he waved his and the Chosokabe armies onward. They kept a fast pace to their target, hoping to reach it before the dragon swooped down for another attack. Fortunately, he seemed to be taking his time.

As the garrison came into view they noticed a small enemy force placed outside to guard it. It wouldn't take long to get past them. "Everyone, attack!" He shouted, running head on into the enemies and cutting down multiple troops with swift, clean attacks.

***** Northern Cannon Fortress - Sima Yi *****

"Alright, are we ready? Make sure the cannon is aimed PERFECTLY, I cannot stress this enough." Yi directed, checking the cannon's placement for accuracy himself.

"Yeah, we're ready." Gan Ning assured, "But...are you sure you wanna do this? I mean, you've gotta be REALLY smart because this seems REALLY stupid to me."

"Sima Yi," Motochika spoke up, "what exactly is the plan again? I would just like to make sure I didn't mishear you."

"Would you two quit mocking my idea! Look, there's a freakin' dragon flying around us! I'm improvising a bit, sue me." Yi released one of his chains and moved to the barrel of the cannon, working it inside as he did something with it...

"Very well. ...But this just-"

"I know what it sounds like, Chosokabe! There, it's done." Yi released his other chain to Motochika, who wrapped it around his arm as told before. "Now, on my mark..."

"Alright... Now are you sure-?"

"Yes, Gan Ning, I am sure! Now...DO IT!"

**_"FIRE!"_**

On the mark, Ning's men fired the cannon ball, with Sima Yi tied to it! Yi and Motochika flew through the air at a speed they had never known before. They felt like their arms were about to be ripped clean off by the sheer velocity. It was a good thing Yi's chains were so durable. As they flew through the air, Motochika questioned, "SIMA YI, WHAT HAPPENS IF WE MISS?"

"WE DIE, HORRIBLY."

"...I'M GOING TO PRETEND I DIDN'T HEAR THAT."

This was it. The cannon ball was reaching the peek of its height and now was the only time he had to do this. Yi released his first chain and took the momentum straight with him as they zoomed through the sky, flying straight toward the dragon itself! He brought out his fan and morphed it into a shield just in time as the dragon spotted them flying at him. However, they were too fast as the shield bashed right into Chilong's head. Such an attack had him disoriented and caused him to spiral downward, giving Yi time for his next move. He swung Motochika into the air as he narrowed his body, allowing himself to fall faster.

_"Dammit, I must get closer to him!"_

Yi gained some speed on the dragon thanks to wind resistance but he recovered from his fall too soon, flapping his wings as he dove upward toward Sima Yi! Yi stretched his body to slow his fall dramatically just before firing a laser down at Chilong, only to have it bounce off his scales harmlessly. He continued shooting his beams regardless until the dragon reached him, clutching his clawed hand around Yi's torso and dragging him into the sky. Luckily, one of Yi's arms was still free so he was able to morph his sword out and dug the blade into Chilong's arm, causing him to growl in pain as he threw Yi in a random direction.

By this time Motochika was at about the same elevation as his target. He waited for the dragon to get just close enough and then, boom! He plucked the shamisen as a blue shockwave engulfed Chilong's entire body, roaring in pain. But he still rose through the air and ended up colliding with Motochika, taking him off guard. However he was able to grab hold of one of the scales on his back and keep a good hold, standing up straight as the dragon regained balance. His head leaned back to see Motochika standing on his back and growled. He shook his body left and right as Motochika stumbled but to no avail. With a snarl he quickly did a half circle and begun flying upside down. But this only helped Motochika as he jumped just as the dragon turned, landing on his stomach with a clear shot to his head. Another jam and another wave was fire as it sired into his head, groaning as he nosedived down. But as he fell, he made sure to use his tail to slap Motochika off.

Motochika grunted and flew back just as a cannon ball flew by, a chain wrapping around him and bringing him up with it. Yi had apparently latched onto another shell to send them both back into the sky. "ARE YOU HURT?" Yi asked.

"I'M FINE, SOMEHOW."

Now all the cannons were being fired in the sky at once, all aiming for the dragon. Since the army was currently all in the east they didn't have to worry about missing, so Gan Ning's pirates really let loose. Yi let go of the cannon ball just before it started to descend and looked onto the dragon. It was coming straight for them. They both fired beams and waves simultaneously, the attacks merely being shrugged off as Chilong smacked Motochika further into the air and tried to snare Yi between his teeth. Thankfully though Yi had his shield out and was able to block, jamming his shield in his jaw to keep it from closing on his arm instead. This saved him from losing it but it turned out not to be all that helpful against fire. Chilong breathed a constant flame at Yi and now he couldn't move his arm away or else he'd be burnt! The shield stopped the flames for the most part but it slowly started to glow red from the unimaginable heat, about to melt through his skin on the other side even! Dammit! There wasn't a damn thing he could do! DAMMIT!

***** Northern Cannon Fortress - Gan Ning *****

Gan Ning was seriously surprised as he saw Yi and Motochika zipping all over the place, actually doing well against the dragon. Ignoring that for now he waved to his men, about to lead an assault on the northern fortress. He was about to head out but stopped as a lone warrior approached...

"Knave! I require your service!" The noblest of the nobles said as he rushed to Ning.

"Yuan Shao? Aren't you suppose to be leading an attack against the enemy?"

"The what? No, screw that. I have an idea and I need you to help me!" Yuan Shao immediately ran to a cannon that hadn't been loaded yet and jumped inside, head poking out as he yelled. "Alright, now fire me into the sky!"

"...What?"

"You heard me!"

"Yeah but...I mean...You want me to shoot you out of a cannon?"

"Exactly. Now watch as my nobility takes me to new heights!"

"...Do you even know why you're doing this?"

"Not a clue. However I shall remember on my way up there."

"...Sigh, whatever. FIRE!"

**_BOOM!_**_**  
**_  
**_"!"_**

***** Shikoku Skies *****

"Dammit! I can't let it end like this! I have to think of-wait, what the hell is that gold thing?"

**_"!"_**

Sima Yi lost all train of thought as what he recognized as Yuan Shao flue straight into the dragon's stomach, head first. This sharp blow forced Chilong to cough in pain, halting his flames and releasing Yi's shield as well! This was his chance! Yi morphed out his sword, still glowing red, and slashed Chilong's right eye to sear it shut. He roared and trashed, losing half of his sight as Yi wrapped his chain inside his jaw and around his skull and harnessed him like a horse.

As for Shao, well, he just flue to the ground shouting **_"THAT WAS THE POWER OF NOBILITY!"_**

"Damn!" Yi cursed as he was forced to drop his sword in this process, becoming too hot for him to even hold. But he had what he needed. He was seated on the dragon's shoulders and he was guiding him, somewhat. It was difficult to get him to do what he wanted but he just needed to get him into position... He moved Chilong toward the southern side of the island to the first ship Gan Ning captured. They definitely spotted him as they began firing upon the dragon, just barely missing as he slipped out of the way by inches. They got closer and closer and Yi saw another cannon about to fire but...

"NO!" Yi's chain snapped and the dragon did a flip, evading the shell. Yi was thrown off during the process and just barely escaped the cannon ball by a centimeter. He looked on as he saw the dragon breathe fire onto the ship, burning it and it's troops before flying back into the sky. Dammit. However! One of the remaining men used his last moments to fire another cannon ball, allowing Yi to cling to it and follow the dragon. Chilong looked behind just in time to see the cannon ball zoom by but he didn't notice Sima Yi and payed for it as he released the chain and leaped onto the dragon's back, impaling his right claw into his shoulder. He growled as Yi slung one of his chains around his neck, but he couldn't even slightly control him now. He removed his hand and latched the other chain around him but they were too low! They flue into one of the garrison doors below, demolishing it. But Chilong was strong and able to regain flight anyways with a hefty bark. Of course, Sima Yi had to wonder if Nene was hurt in that...

Eh, he shrugged the thought off. After all, he was kinda busy with something else at the moment. But he was unable to focus on flying the dragon when his tail reached behind and wrapped around him like a snake. Chilong's tail lifted him off his back as he kept a hold of him, flying into the sky farther and farther...

***** Orochi Main Camp - Da Ji *****

Da Ji was not pleased. It was taking far too long for Chilong to obliterate Sima Yi and his new bat buddy. Not to mention the Chosokabe AND Wei armies storming down on her camp. AND Not to mention she just lost contact with the north AND south camps. She crossed her arms and pouted in disapproval. This was suppose to be a super-special-awesome slaughter... She sighed aloud. "Well, I wonder how long it will take them to reach me..?"

As Ji said this the gate to her encampment had just been covered in ice, all in under a second. Following this the ice was shattered into fragments, taking the gate with it as Jia stood with his rapier and shield. He pointed his sword forward as the combined forces clashed with the Orochi troops inside. None went after the two officers however as Jia slowly walked to Da Ji, stopping a few feet a head of her.

"Da Ji...it's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Oh, too long Guo Jia, too long. How about we 'catch up'?"

Jia smirked. "Yes, lets..." Jia struck first, his rapier blocked by one of Da Ji's orbs and another of her orbs blocked by his shield. Jia jumped back at the same time as Ji did a backflip, leaving a good deal of space between the two. Now they began a strafing run from the other as purple crystals formed under Jia and ice under Da Ji. Jia broke the cycle however and shot an ice crystal in front of Da Ji as she stopped and jumped up to avoid the following one from below.

Now that she was airborne she was somewhat open to attack, and that's exactly what he did as he released several small ice spikes at her. The fox was easily able to destroy them with swift work of her orbs however and counter with two fireballs back at the strategist. He was able to intercept them just as easily with an ice wall sprouting from the ground.

"Ho ho, not too bad at all Jia." Da ji commented as she levitated to the ground.

"You seem to be doing very good as well. Looks like you have a counter for every move." Jia said, dismissing what was left of the ice wall.

"And it looks like you know how to compliment a girl too."

Jia smirked. "That's not the only thing I can do with a girl."

"Oh really?" Da Ji chuckled with a rather devious grin, "Why don't you show me more?"

"Gladly." He responded with a blunt rush that lead into a jumping slash Da Ji was forced to evade. She retaliated by sending her balls at Jia, just what he expected, as he knocked one away with his sword. He wrapped his arm around the other one as she recalled it to her with Jia piggybacking. Once in range he impaled his sword just in time for her to disappear in a pink flash, and her sphere fall to the ground. Jia rolled his eyes and turned, holding out his sword by Ji's neck the second she reappeared behind him.

"How did you know!"

"Please, I've seen ninjas fight. You teleporters always teleport behind first."

"Good point but do they do this as well?"

The fox smirked as a purple crystal sprang up under Jia that he rolled away from. Immediately after he had the two spheres coming straight for him! He slapped one away with his shield and impaled the other through to the ground with his blade and left them there before rushing Da Ji, wrapping her up in his arms to which she unexpectedly blushed.

"Oh! What is this now? What, was your plan to seduce me, Jia?"

"Perhaps."

"Oh, I see, hehe..." Da Ji giggled at the feel of Jia's icy cool breath as he moved in closer...and closer...and closer...

"Oh, but my dear," He began, halting his advance, "I must ask you; what happened to all of my troops?"

Da Ji stopped and looked around. She noticed dead soldiers, mostly her own, but not enough. All of the Wei and the Chosokabe have left the garrison and were probably fighting her troops out there. Her eyes narrowed on Jia. "You, what did you do?"

"We have all these cannons now, and the enemy is in a single garrison. Do I have to spell it out?"

"What! Then why are you still here!"

"To make sure you get hit of course."

"You don't think you'll get hit too!"

"Perhaps."

"You're suicidal! Let me go!"

"I don't think so." Before Da Ji could realize it there was a trail of ice all the way from Jia's sword to both her feet. She then found her arms frozen together as Jia held her, and she couldn't teleport with him clinging to her like this! "Here it comes."

Da Ji looked up as she saw some sort of airborne object speeding down at them. There was nothing she could do. So she did the only thing she could think of and huddled closer into Jia's chest, hoping the remains of his broken body will shield her somewhat.

She closed her eyes and awaited an explosion as the being crashed into the ground beside them. However no boom. Both Jia and Ji looked at what ever it was to descend from the sky. Neither were amused.

"Ha, just a scratch!" Yuan Shao stated as he stepped out of the crater he made upon landing. Shao dusted himself off and noticed Da Ji and Guo Jia. "Oh hey. Are you guys a couple now?" However before he could get an answer Sima Yi's sword impaled him straight through the back of his head.

"...Is that what you meant to hit me?"

"The sword or Shao? Either way it was neither." Jia looked up once more and a smirk appeared. "_This_ is what I was talking about."

Da Ji's head shot up and her eyes snapped wide as she saw them, three cannon balls falling from the sky and about to land around them and blow their limbs off. She struggled and squirmed and tried her damnedest to escape her holder but nothing worked! "WHAT ARE YOU DOING! LET ME GO NOW!"

Jia did nothing but anger Da Ji more with his apathetic expression. She tried to remove her orb from the rapier but it was frozen down solid. However, she still had one that she could use! She tried hitting the ice on her feet and break it away but it was too damn solid! Next she tried for Guo Jia, smashing the orb on his back repeatedly, "QUICK, MOVE! THIS WILL KILL YOU AS WELL! LET ME GO DAMMIT!"

"Goodbye, Da Ji."  
**  
******* North Shikoku - Gan Ning *****

After sending that idiot to his probably death, Gan Ning began his own trek to the Northern Fortress. He left his men to operate the cannons and proceeded alone. As he came across the garrison Shao was originally meant to assault he was surprised to see the gates already wide open. He ran inside to see the Yuan army already fighting the enemy. Apparently, when Shao isn't there his army is an extremely effective force.

However he saw that they were having trouble with someone. This is the guy anyone else would mistake for a samurai, but not Ning. He knew exactly who this guy was and was impressed with his handiwork, even if it was against his allies. Ning grinned and ran towards them, using one of the soldiers as a springboard to his target.

"Look out below!" He shouted, coming down on the warrior with his Sea Master to which he naturally blocked with his katana. "Heya Zhou Tai! Long time, no see!" They backed off and took battle stances to the other. Zhou Tai had his blade sheathed.

"You..."

"Yeah, ME. You know, I've always wonder which of use was faster. How about we find out now?"

"Hm. Very well."

They stood there, staring the other down as the troops on both sides stepped back farther and farther away. For what seemed like an eternity there was no sound, no movement just a sharp stare into the other warrior. The only noise that interrupted this was the wind, and as soon as the first bell jingle happened Ning struck. He attacked with a medley of strikes, all of which where blocked by Zhou Tai. He didn't even fully unsheathe his blade to block them, not once. The only time he did so was when he countered, slashing with the speed that match the pirate's evenly. They fought until their blades locked into place, sparks grinding.

"Yeah!" Ning sneered, pushing up against his blade, "Now this is fun!"

Tai growled when Ning pushed his katana away and chased after him as he started to run off. Tai caught up with his pace and attacked as they slashed at each other while still running. They continued at this until they approached one of the garrison walls where Tai let out a wide horizontal sweep. Ning avoided it by jumping onto the wall and running up it for a few steps, turning and coming down at Tai. However he was easily able to step back, allowing Ning's blade to hit the dirt. Tai used the opportunity to move in, slashing his sword so close that Ning actually felt the wind off it before they began in another flurry of blades.

A kick swipe of the foot and Ning had tripped Tai into the air, leaving him open for attack but to no avail as his hand hit the ground first and he bounced himself back onto his feet. Ning immediately dashed to him, kicking up a sword laying on the ground and dual wielding them against him. It was much more difficult for Tai to avoid scrapping from two swords and he lost some ground as he took some steps back while Ning hammered him.

However Zhuo Tai had something just as good as a sword when in his hands! He took a hold of his sheath and ducked under a double thrust from his foe, burying his scabbard into Ning's stomach. This maneuver stunned him and the next one disarmed him as Tai kicked both swords out of his hands. The pirate looked to where his sword landed but was brought back to Tai, snarling as his blade slide through the top of his shoulder, right at the joint.

But Tai was surprised as that glare turned into a smile, followed by Ning pushing forward through the katana and shoulder bashing the Chinese samurai back, leaving him open as Ning grabbed his precious blade and threw it to the ground. The pirate pounded his fist together just before punching Tai right in the face, causing him to take a step or two back. He growled, rubbing the blood off his lips before spitting out some more. That pissed him off.

Tai went on the attack, punching with fluid motions and using his sheath to block. However Gan Ning was an expert at hand-to-hand. All those bar fights and scuffles growing up, he picked up a few things. It was nothing for him to evade all of Tai's movements and even less to block them. That's not to say Tai let him get in a single punch either. They were evenly match until they both threw caution to the wind and slammed a fist straight into the other's face, sending both of them flying back. Fortunately for Tai, he landed right next to his sword as he grabbed it.

Gan Ning was still on the ground recovering even as Zhou raised his blade and came at him for the kill...but this wasn't going to play out how he hoped. Ning landed right next to his blade as well and feigned damage, jumping up with his blade as it cut through Zhou Tai's chest. Tai collapsed to his knees, blood pouring out from his chest.

"D-damn..." He cursed, using his Dawn for support. That attack tore past his muscles...he was bleeding quite bad.

"So!" Gan Ning walked toward his opponent, sword over his shoulder. "Ready to call it quits and surrender? Eh?"

"Shut up." Tai quickly turned, swinging his katana and just barely slicing Ning's torso. If Ning didn't jump out of the way it would have cut out his intestines. Zhou Tai stood, blood dripping from his chest. He only stood for a moment as he rushed his enemy, swinging wildly as the pirate struggled to evade. His own blood continued to pour out and yet still he attacked! Even Ning had to admit, he was damn impressive.

Their blades locked as flames spewed forth, grinding in fury at the other foe. "Hehehehe!" Gan Ning couldn't help but laugh. "I haven't had a fight like this in a long time! Now how about we...wait, NO!" Ning turned his head in shock as he saw one of his troops with a musket...aimed at Sun Quan about to board his boat. "NO!" But it was too late. Regardless what he said, the musket shot and headed straight for Quan.

Gan Ning wanted to see what would happen to his former lord but found his eyes blinded by a flash. It was too bright to see anything. He quickly put up his hand as he caught a glimpse of Zhou Tai's sword, reflecting the sun onto him. He already knew what happened. Tai saw the danger and cut the bullet with his blade. And with that wound...it was amazing.

"ZHOU TAI!" Sun Quan shouted as he looked to his bodyguard, having just saved his life once again. Tai kneeled on the ground once again, holding his wound. That fast movement opened it even more. Quan ran to his side and guided him to the boat, arm over his shoulder as they limped by. But they stopped as the sound of rifles being aimed hit their ears.

"Hold it!" Gan Ning immediately stood before them, arm held out to the men. He looked at his former lord, and stared him straight in the eyes for what seemed like forever. "...Go." Quan didn't ask questions. Didn't even nod, he just turned and rushed to his boat as his remaining army and himself were allowed to leave. The tiger cub and his guardian were the slowest to get on and thus the last. "Hey, Sun Quan!" Quan turned slowly, handing over Zhou Tai to other soldiers.

"I know you. And I know you would never willingly follow this Orochi punk. Because you see, I understand what you're doing. Protecting your father, and your sister too." Ning pointed his blade at him, "But you better not take to long to rescue him! If I run into you again on the battlefield, I won't hold back. And you're gonna die! So beat it! And save your family."

Quan nodded as the boat just began to ship out. Gan Ning turned away, sure that his message got across. He looked to the sky at Sima Yi's battle with the dragon. "Tch. Crazy mother..."

***** Orochi Main Camp *****

Smoke raised from the now battle scared camp. Small and large bits of metal and debris were scattered everywhere from the cannon fire. Honestly, it was a wonder that this place can be recognized as a camp. The battle waged on just outside the walls, the Orochi armies moral plummeted after witnessing the bombardment of their commander. Speaking of which...

"D-...d-..." Da Ji remained, fully intact as she squirmed on the ground. She was in pain as her body barely allowed her any movement aside from a few twitches. "D-dammit..." She panted as she slowly used all her strength, weaving back and forth until she found herself on her feet. She looked awful. Her outfit was torn and burnt to reveal even more skin than it already did and her skin showed wounds, pains, and other such that would remain for a while.

"That...that damn fool!" She growled, taking one small step after the other. There was a back exit leading to the docks. That's where she was headed. She stopped and looked back at her previous location. Right beside where she was lay Guo Jia. Motionless, face down. His body looked a bit better than hers did, amazingly. "Humph. Idiot...idiot. I'm immortal! Nothing in this world could kill me... Still..." She thought back as the cannon balls landed, explosions all around her. She had encased herself in a telepathic shield to endure the attacks. She was sure that some of that shielded Jia but there was no possible way he was alive.

She turned back around and continued walking, well dawdling, her way to the docks. However she stopped as she caught sight of what she had strived to protect before. The mirror that was used to summon Chilong. She stared, amazed that it was still intact. However as she stared closer she noticed something... A...reflection?

"No..." She gasped, "There's no way..." She turned and her gaze raised to the sky, shocked at what she saw as her eyes widened. Something, something big, was heading straight into the ground. Right around this area. She grimaced at the thought of what that could be...and hoped she was wrong.

***** Shikoku Skies *****

"Damn, damn, damn, damn, daaamn!" Sima Yi cursed as he was drug across the sky, entrapped in Chilong's tail. He was unable to move any thing but his head and his ankles. Nothing seems to work until he did the only thing he could think of and bit the dragon's tail. Not his best idea, he had to admit, as this only served to anger him. ****.

Chilong roared as he slowed pace and slung Yi in front of him, releasing him as he rared back his claws for an attack. Time seemed to slow down as the dragon proceeded, his claws going ever closer to our protagonist. He couldn't bring himself to close his eyes as he awaited the pain about to hammer him. And it was good that he didn't or else he wouldn't know what the hell was going on when Motochika flue down from his place in the sky, striking his shamisen three times with three quick shockwaves to match. The attacks hit the dragon's arm and halted the attack but it also sent Yi a good ways off as he began falling even faster.

Yi regained his composure as he stretched his extremities. His robe provided good air resistance as he caught sight of a cannon ball, latching onto it and zipping further towards another, zipping to another, and then another, flipping through the air until he was as high as he could get. He watched as Chilong and Motochika fought, shockwaves and fire breath just barely being avoided by the other. "Tch. Time to end this!" He narrowed his body and fell at such speeds it really made you wonder how the hell he kept that hat on throughout all this. Seriously, does he glue it to his head or something?

Anyways it wasn't long before the dragon noticed Yi, like a purple bullet from the sky. Yi smirked as two purple orbs appeared in his hands, bringing them in front of him as they combined. The dragon ignored Motochika and allowed him to fall as he aimed his head at Yi, opening his mouth as flames sparked at the bottom of his throat. As they neared both man and beast fired their attacks, Yi's beam clashing with the dragon's fire. Yi proved to not be as powerful as an ancient mythical beast however as his attack was slowly being engulfed in the powerful flames. He couldn't hold him back...but all that doubt faded away as he noticed a handful of small purple bubbles, circling the dragon. He knew exactly what was about to happen.

It was a miracle, or maybe his mind playing tricks on him, but Sima Yi heard the sound, the pluck of Motochika's string, as each and every bubble exploded around the dragon! This damaged him greatly as Yi saw his chance, pushing his attack further as the flames were dispersed. His beam connected and drilled straight into Chilong's mouth, sending him spiraling from the force of impact. Yi saw this as his only chance and he took it as he followed in pursuit, releasing several wires that glittered against the sun. As he got in range he sent them forth, wrapping over the dragon's shoulders and under his arms as Yi grabbed them and yanked back, sending him towards the dragon and balancing him somewhat. Naturally, the razor sharp strings cut into Chilong as Yi took hold, standing on his back, as he piloted him again.

But this worked about as well as last time. He only had marginal control over the dragon's direction. And speaking of last time, Yi suddenly turned around and blasted his tail with a beam. "That's not going to work this time." He pulled his burnt tail back as Yi took hold of his makeshift reins again. He found these to be more effective than the chains as the strings only cut into him the more he resisted Yi's motion. Now he could mostly control the mighty beast! And the first thing he did was nose dive down to Motochika, swooping under him as he landed on Chilong's back. "Motochika, are you alright?"

"Aside from the whiplash, yes. Do you...are you riding him?"

Immediately as Motochika spoke these words Chilong roared and tried to shake them off, only to have Yi pull back and cut into him more.

"No, he's just obeying until he thinks of a way to get us off. So listen up, dragon! Ascend," Yi ordered as he pulled back once again, "Or else you'll lose your arms!"

Chilong growled in defiance and yet obliged, flying upwards. Straight up, actually. Yi struggled to remain in place as Motochika's legs dangled through the air, holding onto the back scales for dear life. Yi showed no intention of stopping as they rose. That is, until he heard a sound. A whooshing sound he became very familiar with just recently. He suddenly yanked backwards as hard as he could, forcing the dragon to do a full flip in the air! This disoriented him just long enough for the cannon ball Yi perceived to crash straight into his chest, exploding on impact!

And then there was a roar, one much different from the others, one of horrible pain as the damage inflicted was far too great. Chilong went down, spinning at an angle as he dove towards Shikoku. "HOLD ON!" Yi shouted, the spinning making it incredibly difficult for them to do so. And quite dizzy as well. As for Motochika, it was even harder for him to hold on as he didn't have anything to grip save for a few scales!

"I...I can't!"

"Grab on!" Yi let go of one of his set of wires and stepped back, slowly, reaching his hand to Motochika. Motochika successfully took a hold of his hand. However in doing so, he lost his balance and was slung around through the air quite a good bit. It didn't help that the dragon was still spinning around. "Dammit!" Yi swore, gripping tighter around his allies palm, "You know you could hold on better if you LET GO OF THE ****ING UKULELE!"

"This is a shamisen!"

"A what!"

"It's a Japanese instrument!"

"Then how the hell do you fight with that thing!"

"How the hell do you fight with a fan?"

"Just shut up and don't let go!"

The Hero of Tosa did so and kept a firm grip on both Yi, and his "weapon". Despite the velocity of the dragon's spiraling they never parted hands. That is, until something unexpected happened. Yi's glove started to slip off. Normally he had straps to keep them on his hands at all times, but apparently they were slipped off during the fight. Dammit!

"MOTOCHIKA!"

The bat's eyes widened as the clawed glove came completely off. This looked to be the end of his resistance...but Sima Yi would not allow that! He quickly released his chain from within his sleeve, wrapping around Motochika's shamisen. "HANG ON TO THAT BANJO!"

"IT'S NOT A-"

"DON'T CARE!"

Regardless of the horrible incorrectness, Motochika hugged onto his beloved instrument as hard as he could. Chilong roared on final time, just as they neared land...

***** Destroyed Garrison *****

Guo Jia lay lifeless in a burnt hole, not even barely moving. Not even a twitch. Not until he released a single, long exhale, of breath so cold it created a fog. His eyes shot open. He blinked, remembering what had just transpired. Da Ji, the cannons, Yuan Shao's randomness. Jia peered up as he pushed himself up on one knee. He was not pleased with what his sight showed him. Da Ji was still alive, though very badly wounded, he could tell. He could end her now! He quickly readied an ice shard in his hand...until he noticed something else. She looked...shocked. Almost scared. Jia turned, looking behind to where her gaze was.

Just in time to hear the dreaded dragon's final roar. Guo Jia stared in terror as the beast spiraled out of control, slamming into the garrison's gate and destroying it before crashing into the ground. Upon impact he noticed something being shot off in a blur. And beside him landed Motochika Chosokabe, his shamisen broken in two as he rolled along the ground. It was after seeing him that Jia had realized something.

"ZHONGDA!"

He looked at the dragon as it grinded into the ground, its momentum carrying so far and fast that it ran straight through the opposing wall of the Orochi camp...and into the sea! With Sima Yi still on it somewhere! Jia instantly got to his feet and ran fast, much faster than a man who just got hit by a cannon should have. He looked over the edge, the waters showing a massive shadow slowly sink down. Sima Yi was nowhere to be found.

"NO!"

Guo Jia couldn't find his friend anywhere within the waters. He didn't even see bubbles or another, much smaller shadow floating down. He was about to jump inside but he found someone had beat him to it as Motochika pushed past him and leaped into the water. Jia wanted to go in after and help but...he knew two people would just get in the way. Besides they would need help getting back up. The garrison wall was located just at the edge of a small cliff, making it hard to get back up. All he could do was wait...

***** Shikoku Sea - Sima Yi *****  
_  
__"Damm...it..."_ Sima Yi could barely think as he floated in the emptiness of the sea. His eyes were shut and he couldn't see a thing. He couldn't open either one. On the up side, he could tell he wasn't being dragged further down. It was good that his strings detached. But...he was so tired... And the fall had hurt him a good deal. _"I...I can't...move..." _He subconsciously thought about breathing but he couldn't tell if he was or wasn't. _"I...am I...going to die here? But...I have so much...so much to do..."_

_"But the water is...nice. I feel...calm. Relaxed. This...this is how I would like to die..."_

Yi smiled. He was enjoying himself. It was nice...not to feel anything, if only just for this moment. It was...the ultimate peace...

_"BUT NO! This will not happen today! I will not ALLOW my life to end here! No matter what, I will escape this ocean and fulfill my goals, MY ambitions!"_ Yi reached his hand out, forcing his body to move and his eyes to open as he found his hand caught by someone else. He felt his body being hoisted up. It seems someone else also wasn't ready for his demise.

Ha...

***** Destroyed Garrison *****

Guo Jia waited patiently. However it seemed to take forever for anything to happen, any sort of movement in the water. It felt like he waited a lifetime though he was sure it couldn't have been but a few minutes at the most. He was beginning to think of going down as well until he noticed a shadow in the water, slowly growing bigger before Motochika popped out of the water. With Yi wrapped in his arms, limb and unconscious. Jia waved his hand as a staircase of ice appeared which Motochika used to climb onto and get Yi to shore quickly, laying him down.

"Sima Yi! Sima Yi!" Motochika shook him, ignoring his water logged cloths as he felt Yi for a pulse.

"Is he alright?" Jia asked, concerned.

"He's alive. But he isn't breathing. It looks like we'll have to preform CPR..."

"...You mean..?"

"Someone must preform the mouth to mouth."

"..."

"..."

"...Not it."

"What? I rescued him!"

"That you did, but I know him too well. I can't do that."

"I fought the dragon with him! A DRAGON."

"W-well yes, but-"

Before Jia could continue his argument, Yi coughed up some water before taking a big gasp of air, finally reopening his eyes.

"Oh thank God." Jia whipped off some sweat as Yi got a hold of his surroundings, allowing himself to adjust as his eyes scanned along Motochika and Guo Jia. It was a bit hard to think but he was able to piece together who saved him, by the fact that Motochika's cloths were as wet as his.

"Motochika..." Yi started, weakly, "You rescued me. I suppose this means I owe you."

"No." Motochika leaned down, "This means we're even. You saved me, as well as my islanders. If anything, I still owe you. Can you stand?"

"Probably." Yi leaned up as he started to get to his feet but stopped, staring at the hand Motochika gave to him. He hesitantly grabbed it as they got him standing again, albeit quite wobbly. So wobbly in fact that Yi fell back again, just as Jia caught him. He waved his comrade away as he steadied himself, firmly as he could.

"I'm fine now..." Yi said, rubbing his face as he looked to his allies in gratitude. And while doing so he noticed something about Jia's attire, it was a quite burnt. As well as the state of the encampment around them. "Jia...what happened to you? And to this base?"

"Hm?" Jia blinked, looking at his cloths and then to his surroundings, "Oh. The base was damaged from a bombardment with the cannons I had planned. As for my cloths, well, let's just say Da Ji likes to use fireballs every now and-Da Ji!" Jia snapped into his right set of mind, realizing the crucial mistake he just made. He pushed past both of them and looked towards the back exit of the garrison, gates wide open and Da Ji no where to be found.

"Damn!" He cursed, "She was right there until the dragon interrupted. Now she's gone..."

"Hm." Motochika nodded, "Rotten luck. But it had to land somewhere."

"Wait..." Yi said, his eyes focused on something, "What's that mirror? It seems rather out of place."

"I'm...not sure. That was never here before."

The three stared in curiosity for a moment. Suddenly a crack appeared in the glass. Not long after another, and even shorter after that a third. Instead of another crack this time though, the entire mirror feel out of the rim, crashing against the ground into several pieces. Yi wasn't sure what to think from something so seemingly random. And what happened next only served to further confuse him.

"What the-!"

They were startled as a huge bright light beamed down into the ocean, just beyond the garrison. It was about the width of Chilong actually. The beam showed for a good while as something big slowly floated back towards the surface. It was, of course, Chilong. The dragon's amazing limb frame levitated higher and higher within the mysterious beam...

***** Orochi Ship - Half a Mile Out to Sea *****

Da Ji stood at the rear of the large wooden ship alone. This was the main ship, holding most of the retreating Orochi forces. She looked, not in awe, as the mighty dragon was pulled into the air. He was brought closer towards the flaming ring that had reformed in the sky. In a quick, sudden flash, Chilong disappeared as the flames around the circle faded and the same, unrecognizable symbol reappeared in the center. Soon, the ring itself disappeared.

"And there he goes...Ow." She rubbed one of her burns. She couldn't believe that she had allowed herself to be hurt so. And now that the dragon had been resealed she was sure that all three ancient mirrors had shattered, ensuring he could never be summoned again. Orochi was sure to be enraged at her...

But she put all that aside from now and thought back to before, just as she noticed Chilong coming down to the ground in a blaze of glory... She remembered her shock as her "secret weapon" broke before her. But something that shocked her even more than that...was Guo Jia. From something that had her dragging herself away in pain Jia had just shrugged off, like it was nothing, and chased after the dragon! She couldn't believe it! There was no way that a human could have possibly survived that! That is, unless...

Guo Jia _wasn't_ human at all...

***** Destroyed Garrison - Wei Forces *****

The trio saw the entire show, marveling at the dragon's disappearance. Afterwords, Motochika moved towards the mirror and picked up a piece of it. It seemed to be an ordinary piece of reflecting glass now. "Interesting..."

"What is?" Jia asked, crossing his arms.

"This mirror, it's old and decorated with symbols I am not familiar with. And you recall the beams of light we saw, three of them, shoot into the sky? I believe they originated from this. I suspect there are two more of these in the other two garrisons. Apparently, this...device is what allow Da Ji to summon such a creature into this plain of existence."

"Well deducted, Motochika," Sima Yi began, "but it's all moot now anyways. The dragon, and the devices, are no more."

"Indeed." Motochika nodded and tossed the glass back on the pile but suddenly flinched as a certain kunoichi appeared in a bright yellow flash. Yi and Jia however remained completely unphased.

"Wow, you guys really tore this place apart!" Nene exclaimed in excited glee, taking in the charred battle ground. "Good job, boys!"

"Nene," Yi said, "I see that you're still alive. I'm guessing the siege further south went well."

"Oh yeah, I beat up some girls from Wu. But then this big dragon came down and broke part of the walls and...then I was distracted and they got away on a ship...hehe." Nene rubbed the back of her head as Yi simply rolled his eyes.

About this time a small bit of the remaining Chosokabe and Wei armies poured into the dismantled fortress, led by Gan Ning. "Yo!" He waved, his shoulder now bandaged from the wound. "I beat the pants off Sun Quan and he went running back. Looks like you guys really had a party here!"

"That we did, mah boi. :D"

"Yeah, you gu-O_o" Ning stared at the man that had spoke those words. This man was Yuan Shao...and he was somehow walking around with a sword directly through his skull. Like, it was coming out both ends of his head, front and back.

"Ah," Yi nodded, "That's what happened to my sword."

Motochika, much more disturbed by this than even Gan Ning, looked at Shao, then Yi, then again at Shao, and then once more to Yi. "You realize your friend has a sword through his head, don't you?"

"I do."

"...And that doesn't concern you?"

"Not at all."

"...Huh."

Jia blinked for a moment as he thought out loud. "How the hell did he survive the cannons?"

Ignoring Shao completely, the warriors looked up into the sky. The otherworldly purple clouds and air that had covered Shikoku had now vanish, leaving it's original, beautiful, sky for all to see.

"The skies have lifted." Motochika smiled as he stared in the air. He was glad. The threat to his island had finally been removed. Finally. He looked to the warriors that aided him, his gaze falling on Yi last. He bowed in appreciating, "Lord Sima Yi, I give you my eternal gratitude." He leaned up and turned to everyone. "As well as to all the men of Wei. My island, is free once again."

The armies cheered in joy at this announcement, waving fists and weapons each into the now cleared air. Everyone cheered, just thankful that they survived this horrible battle. After a short while the voices died down, allowing the commanders to take charge again. The officers were rallied by Jia, waving to Yi and informing him that he would ready the men for departure back home.

Yi and Motochika stood side by side, watching as the Wei forces left and moved toward the beach. "So," Yi spoke, breaking the silence, "Motochika, I must say I am impressed with you. I had not expected to find a man with as much talent as you on an isolated island. You know, Wei could always use a man such as you..."

Motochika smiled at the complement, walking over towards his broken shamisen that still lay on the ground. "I thank you for the praise. However, I cannot." He picked up both parts of his instrument. "My men, my people, they need me here. I will not abandon my island, ever. I must remain, and repair the damage that was done. And so I must apologize."

"Don't. I understand completely. I cannot stay directly to aid in the rebuilding but I can promise you this; I'll have supplies sent by boat to your island. You'll need every single one."

"I thank you. You know that you do not have to do that, and that I would not ask it. You have already done much."

"But of course. You thought I would do this for free?"

"Hm?" Motochika leaned his head a bit to Yi, "You require payment?"

"Money has no interest to me. I do, however, require talent. And that is what you have."

"Sima Yi." Motochika turned and looked him straight in the eyes, "I will never forget what you have done for my people and I on this day. It may not be tomorrow, or the next day, but know that I will come when you need me. And I shall aid you."

"Humph." Yi let of a smirk he just couldn't resist, dramatically crossing his arms. "That's exactly what I wanted to hear."

***** Wei Ship - Sunset *****

Sima Yi and the others left Shikoku behind and headed back to Wei almost immediately after the battle. Everyone wanted to get back home as soon as possible, and Gan Ning seemed eager to let the ninja know of the victory. Yi sat at a table within his room in bowls of the boat, chin leaning on his gloved hand. His other was lost somewhere on Shikoku. He'd have to commission another made. He sighed, finding a slight boredom with simply sitting down. He had been fighting so much recently he had grown rather accustomed to it.

"Heh. Next thing you know I'll start to enjoy fighting." Yi wasn't to cheery about that thought. And the mental flash of him in Gan Ning style clothing didn't help. How the hell does he not get cold without a shirt? As Yi tried to shake the image away he found a knocking at his door. "Come in."

The door opened as Jia entered the room sporting his robes, now fully repaired. Yi straightened somewhat upon his entrance though still slouched a bit. "Good evening, Yi. You seem a bit...out of it."

"Do I? I suppose I'm just a bit tired."

"As well you should be." Jia said, taking a seat across from Yi, "It's not everyday one fights a dragon, and wins."

"Hm. It's funny; you would think I'd be pleased with myself for this victory. However I still feel..."

"Unfulfilled?"

Yi blinked at Jia's suggestion. Quite an interesting choice of word. "Something like that. But I do not dismiss all I, we, have done today. I believe we have made a great ally..."

"Yes, the Chosokabe. Tell me, what do you think of that man?"

"Well when I first saw him in all that makeup and nail polish I thought he would be a more gothic Zhang He. Ugh. I shiver at the thought..." Yi did so, visibly, "But he surprised me. He's a leader. He will go far in this world. But, he isn't a ruler. In that sense, he is much like Nagamasa. Motochika will be a powerful ally against the snake."

"I think so as well. And we will need all the help we can get against him. Anyways, for what I came down here for, Nene cooked up some food for the men. She asked me to give this to you." Jia reached into his robe and pulled out a small blue colored cloth, tied up from the top around three or four ball like objects.

"Hm." Yi took it and layed it down, untying it as the cloth unfolded to reveal four 'special' steamed meat buns. "...Jia, why are they blue?"

"She said it was so that they would match our colors."

"But...they're blue. When was the last time you ate something blue?"

"Zhongda, all the men have already eaten a few and they seemed to be fine. Even I have tried one. They're actually quite delicious."

"..." Yi looked back down to his _blue_ meal. He poked one with his finger as he considered actually ingesting one of these...things. He looked to Jia, whom simply smiled. Sighing, he picked one up and ate a single a bite and...

"...I...uh..." He quickly scarfed down the entire meat bun. This thing was freakin' amazing! He would never say it out loud but this was probably the best meat bun he ever ate!

"Haha, see? I told you they were good. Now, enjoy your meal. And get some sleep while your at it." Jia waved as he got up and headed for the exit. He could have sworn Sima Yi said something but it was too muffled by the sounds of him gorging himself with the remaining buns. He closed the door, chuckling as he walked off.

He came to the bow of the ship and saw the sun was gone and a beautiful night sky came in its place. As she caught glimpse of him, Nene rush up to the strategist. "Well, did he like them!" She asked, in a mix of eagerness and weariness.

"Yes, I'd say he enjoyed them quite well."

"Phew. Thank goodness..."

"Heh, were you that worried that he'd be displeased by your food?"

"Wha? Oh no, you see, when I found the meat buns there were some that were already completely blue. I think they were molded or something. I was worried I actually gave you those same meat buns! But I guess I just misplaced them."

"Ah. Well it's a good think you...er, do you recall any container or something along those lines you put said buns into?"

"Oh yeah, there were four of them. I wrapped them in a blue rag, so I'd recognize them instantly. Why, have you seen them?"

"Oh dear..."

"Huh? 'Oh dear', what?"

Guo Jia didn't answer, he just buried his forehead into his palm. He wasn't surprised when he heard screaming from men being shoved down inside the ship. Moments later, a green faced Sima Yi ran to the edge of the ship, leaning over the railing as barfing sounds could be heard.

"Oh dear!" Nene exclaimed as she ran toward Yi. She stopped as he pulled himself up and lashed a finger at her.

"YOU! You're trying to poison me!"

"WHAT! No, no, no, no , no, I was just-"

"JUST TRYING TO KILL ME, YOU STUPID KUNO-oh no-BLAAGH!"

"EW! That's disgusting!"

By this time Jia had seen enough. He turned and waved off as he went back into his quarters, the camera turning to the moon as Yi roared and Nene...

***** Azuchi Castle - Training Grounds *****

The camera loomed down from the moon onto a man in black, Setsuna, fighting another young man in gold armor. Setsuna grunted as he brandished his katana, sending out a twilight wave at his enemy. The young man reached behind him, pulling out two spears to block the wave, throwing one after the attack dissipated. Setsuna side stepped the spear, grabbing it just before it passed and swinging it around before tossing straight back.

The gold boy however was just as easily able to grab his spear again, taking it in his hand as he rushed Setsuna, the spears and the katana clashing with blow after blow until they ended in a deadlock. They glared at each other, but not with hatred. More like respect.

"Well done, young warriors." A voice said, coming from a man above the grounds atop a balcony.

"Lord Nobunaga!" The gold man said, backing off along with Setsuna.

"Toshiie, Setsuna," Nobunaga began, looking down at his two officers, "I've heard reports of bandits roaming in large number just west of Azuchi. I'd like you two to go investigate this and if you find the bandits, I want you to end them. Do you accept?"

Setsuna sheathed his blade as he spoke, "Mission-"

"Yes, of course we do, my lord!" Before being cut of by Toshiie.

"Accepted."

"Good," Nobunaga smiled, "I look forward to the two of you working together. Have fun. Hahahahaha!" He continued to laugh as he walked away, out of view from the warriors.

"Huh. Wonder what that was about?" Toshiie shrugged, putting his spears back along his back.

"No clue. You ready?"

"Don't you want to gather some troops?"

"Bandits aren't enough threat for me to warrant back up. In fact, you can stay if you wish." Setsuna already began walking, leaving Toshiie feeling a bit hurt from the suggestion.

"No way, lord Nobunaga requested us both! I'm going with!"

"Works for me."

Toshiie ran for a moment to catch up to Setsuna, now walking by his side. Meanwhile, atop a balcony opposing where Nobunaga was, a crow stared at them. The warriors reflected in the crow's red, almost glowing, eyes...

Suddenly, the bird was engulfed in darkness. The darkness grew to the size of a man as a man once thought dead appeared, opening his red eyes as he looked to the moon. His pale complexion showed no emotion whatsoever.

"Nobunaga..." He said, placing a hand on the hilt of his sheathed katana. Darkness once again enwraped Mitsuhide, disappearing along with the man as only a black feather remained.

The camera fades to black as the feather slowly falls to the ground...

_***** End of Chapter 10 *****_

**_*** NW Guide 10: The Great Debate ***_**

_The Noble Warriors Guide intro starts with Yuan Shao, sword still in his skull, flying by the screen with rainbows shooting out of his ass and propelling him forward until the entire screen is covered in rainbows. Xaldin and PSY then appear. PSY shouts "GET OVER HERE!" and impales the rainbows with a Bloody Spear, tied with a rope at the end as she jerks the rainbows to them. Xaldin then dropkicks the rainbows as they shatter._

The screen is completely black for a moment until a spotlight shines down on Yuan Shao, holding a microphone in his hand. "Welcome, one and all, to...The Noblest Debate of All Time...Show!" As Shao finishes the entire room lights up to reveal two stands at the left and right of the room, and one more in the middle. Shao is in the center. The room itself had a big board in the back with the shows title, surrounded by flashing lights and trimmed with gold. In fact, the entire room was trimmed with gold and flashing lights. Apparently, this is 'cool' to Yuan Shao.

"Today's debate is: Yuri vs. Yaoi, which is the better pr0n!" Shao pointed to the left stand, "And in this corner we have...Xal, representing Yuri!"

"Yo." Xal waved to the camera.

"And in this corner we have...PSY/KoeiPrincess/Angel/girl with way too many damn names!"

"Hi." She also waved.

"And in the middle we have...Sima Zhongda!" Shao was instantly blasted with a laser.

"That's Sima YI. YI! This is based off of Warriors Orochi, we don't use those names here. Now, putting that aside...why the hell am I here?"

"That will all be explained in due time. That is to say, right now. Okay, Xal, PSY, by the end of the debate, one of you must convince Sima Yi which is better. Yuri or Yaoi. Now, are there any questions?"

"Yes," Nagamasa raised his hands, standing behind Yi, "Why am _I_ here? And secondly, what happened to your...head?"

"I dunno. Now, Xal, you may go first! Explain to Sima Yi why Yuri is better than Yaoi."

"Gladly." Xal nodded as Yi sighed, really not wanting to be here. "Now, firstly, I would like you to think of the two, maybe three, most attractive women you know. Now imagine them making out, vigorously. Like, really going at it. And get detailed with it. Lip smacking, tongue lashing, teeth clattering, hands fondling, anything you can think of. And Rose, quite jerking it while you read this, because I know that you are! Just go look up more Gardevoir after reading this."

"Okay," Yi interrupted, "I've done that, now what?"

"Now what? You mean you need MORE than that! How does that not instantly make you love Yuri?"

"Look, I choose not to take sides on this. If I support one, I lose fans that support the other."

"Hm...well then this will require...drastic measures..."

For any other show there would be a buzzer going off about now, signaling the end of someones turn. However, as Shao spent his budget on gold and flashing lights they couldn't afford one. So instead Shao just yells it. "BUZZZZZ! Well that'll have to wait for later, because now it's PSY's turn!"

"Thank you, Yuan Shao. Now, I'd like to start by saying there is nothing wrong with liking either Yaoi or Yuri. Both are pre-"

"BUZZ! Well, looks like you ran out of time!"

"What? I barely had anytime at all!"

"Don't care, times up."

Nagamasa nudged Yi as PSY continued to complain as Shao put his fingers in his ears and said 'lalalalalalalalalacan't hear youlalalalalala'. "Uh, hey."

"Yeah?"

"...Shao has a sword through his-."

"Yes he does."

"...So how is he still ali-"

"I dunno."

"...Okay then."

By this time PSY simply pouted as Shao turn the mic over to Xal. "Thank you Shao. Now Sima Yi, I'm going to show you some pictures. And you can just tell me which ones you like the most."

Yi raised an eyebrow in caution. "...I seriously dislike where this is going."

"Well it's going there." Xal reached into his pockets and pulled out some pictures. He quickly shoved the first one into Yi's face, causing him to scream and hold up his hands in fright. "Now what do you think of this picture of two men?"

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK!" Yi roared, almost throwing up, "This is, oh GOD!"

"Ah, so by your reaction we can tell that you are DISGUSTED by this Yaoi picture."

"THIS IS A PICTURE OF A NAKED DONG ZHUO HAVING GREASE RUBBED ONTO HIM BY HUA XIONG! WHERE THE HELL DO YOU GO TO FIND THIS STUFF!"

"Details, details, now how about..." Xal flipped another picture out to Yi, "THIS picture?"

However, his reaction was more in awe than anything from this picture. "Um...wow."

"Nice, isn't it?"

"Well...yes, quite. I mean, wow. This is an impressive piece of work."

"Yes, everyone enjoys a shot of Sarah Palin on Hillary Clinton." Xal stacked his photos and slipped them into his pocket. "Now, as we can tell by Yi's reaction, he CLEARLY appreciates Yuri over it's despicable counterpart."

"Well to be fair, the Yaoi image really wasn't something anyone but maybe a few freaks would like."

"How so?"

"...How so? Did you even look at that picture!"

"What picture?"

"-_-" Yi just waved it off, deciding not to even bother at this point. Just in time to, as Shao stepped up.

"BUZZ! And that's it for Xal's second turn! Now, before we come back please enjoy a word from our sponsors."

The screen fades as a commercial suddenly begins...

-

The screen flips to scene of kids, bored as they poked at their food.

"Tired of the same old dumplings? Sick and tired of rice rations? Then have I got great news for you!"

Suddenly, the kids perk up as a certain man walks toward their table and looks straight into the camera. "My name is Lu Bu. You may know me from such battles as the Battle of Hu Lao Gate. But in reality, I only kill conscripted peasants for a hobby. My true love...is cooking. Cooking delicious tacos!"

"That's right!" Lu Bu then slammed a scrumptious looking taco on the nearest child's plate, cracking said plate in the process. "_**Tacos!**_ And for the first time YOU can get a taste of my secret family recipe..." He then slammed down a 'kids meal' bag with a picture of Lu Bu and a text box shouting, 'Can nobody provide me with a decent taco!'

"With new Lu Bu Brand Tacos! They're the mightiest tacos in all the Three Kingdoms!" He shouted, kicking over the children's table before the scene changed.

We now suddenly find Lu Bu standing atop the roof of his own restaurant entitled 'Lu Bu's Tasty Tacos' with two feathery feelers extending from the back. There is also a giant Sky Scorcher halberd with the restaurants title written along the blade, like the tall signs you'd see at McDonalds and such.

"Who else seeks deliciousness! Ride down by your local Lu Bu's and grab one today!"

"And remember kids...send in three box tops and get a Dong Zhuo plushie!" Bu held up said plushie to the camera, crushing some stuffing out of it.

The screen then flips to a view of the restaurant with directions below as Lu Bu pokes his head out from a text box. "Buy my tacos! OR I'LL STOMP YOU INTO A BLOODY MESS!"

-

"Aaaaaand we're back!" Shao exclaimed, dramatically waving his arms. "Now, Xal, it's your turn again!"

"Wait, what?" PSY intervened, "I didn't even get a turn that time-"

"BUZZ!"

"This is bullshi-"

"BUZZ!"

"Oh fine."

"Now Xaldin, please continue your argument."

"Of course." Xal smiled, crossing his arms. "But I don't think I'll have to explain anything more after this."

As he said this, Nene walked onto the screen. She waved at the camera and smiled, happy-go-lucky as she could be. "O-kay! I've come to support Xal! Now, let's get down to business!" She was about to whistle for someone until she was so rudely interrupted by Sima Yi.

"Wait, Nene? You support Yuri? I had no idea you _swung_ that way."

"What? I don't. I'm just here 'cuz Xal wrote it into the story."

"Oh, typical. Continue."

Nene did so as she brought her fingers to her lips, whistling for a certain someone to come onto the screen. This certain someone was none other than Oichi. However, she was much more shy about being on live television than her ninja friend.

"Um," She began, "Nene, just what exactly did you need me here for?"

Nene simply giggled in response. She winked to Yi and Nagamasa as she slowly walked to Oichi, wrapping her arms around her slender frame and smirked, forcing her to blush.

"L-lady Nene, what are yo-" Unfortunately, Oichi's words were cut off as the ninja quickly pressed her lips against hers, closing her eyes as they came closer. Oichi wasn't sure just how to react to _this_ but as Nene worked her arms, caressing her small body, she found herself following in suit. Nene took this chance and brought it to the next level, slipping her tongue into Oichi's mouth, slithering around her own like a snake. The princess unintentionally let out a moan as their hands also got more 'fresh'.

The two did this for quite some time and naturally, everyone has about the same expression on their face. Mouths agape, save for a Xal whom simply grinned and nodded in approval, PSY why who simply shook her head at the biased-ness of this segment, and Nagamasa. He was in a mix of 'oh my God, this is freaking awesome' and 'GET THE HELL OFF MAH WIFE!'

Sadly, I can't in all good conscience allow this to continue to the point of the girls getting down and dirty, no matter how much you want it Rose. It IS a T rated story after all. So they eventually broke off, the two lovely ladies slipping out of the others grasp. They smiled, blushing at the other as they took into account just what had transpired before Oichi finally walked away, head lowered, as she moved beside Nagamasa. The two looked at each other in glances but turned away the second their eyes connect, not quite sure what to say to the other. As for Nene, she moved into the corner behind Xal and continued to stare at Oichi from afar, thinking about who knows what.

"Okay..." Xal started, the first to break the silence, "So, Yi, what did you think about THAT?"

"Uh..." Yi stammered, pulling his collar back, "Well, I-er..."

"Okay, hold on!" PSY waved up her hand, throwing her art book straight into Shao's face before he could say anything otherwise. "It just so happens I have someone to show for support in Yaoi as well!"

"Oh, no, you're not going to bring up who I think your are, are you?"

"Introducing: Zhang He!" At the moment those words left her lips, Zhang He appeared in the center of the room in a poof of butterflies, waving his arms and twirling around before taking a stance.

"It is I! Zhang He!"

"Oh dear God..."

"Master Sima Yi, I must ask that you not hold any animosity towards the Yaoi. For you see..." He then begun one of his 'dramatic speeches' as he moved all over the room and waved his arms around, taking stances at the emphasized words. "_LOVE_ cannot be contained by _sex!_ Love of two individuals, fiery, passionate, _LOVE_ of the highest caliber, _TRUE LOVE!_ The kind of love that someone in this very room has burning in him at this moment! _LOVE!_ That defies what's considered..._dirty_ in our world. _LOVE!_ That bring souls together eternally! _LOVE! LOVE! LO-"_

Thankfully, Zhang He was impaled through the head by Sima Yi's sword before his horribad rambling could go on any longer. Naturally, Yi threw this. He stared at Zhang He's lifeless body, and smiled. Wow, killing him really put him in a good mood. Like, really good.

"You know, I'm glad I finally did that. Thanks PSY. In fact, I'm so thankful, that I'm switching to Yaoi. Yaoi FTW."

"YES!" PSY hopped in the air, grinning ear to ear.

"DUDE!" Xal yelled, slamming down on his stand in RAAAAAAAAAAAAGE! "What the hell!"

"My apologies, Xal. I'm not saying that Yuri is bad or anything, just that after this I'm rooting more for Yaoi now."

"But-! You-! BULLCRAP! I'm writing this damn story and I COMMAND you to like Yuri more!"

"No you."

"DAMMIT!"

"Aaaaand there you have it folks!" Shao shouted as he aimed the camera at him, revealing a large hole where Yi's sword used to be. "That's it for the Great Debate! Tune in next time for-"

However the screen cut to black instantly, as Rydain walked across the screen with a sign that says 'THIS SHOW IS CANCELED!' UL walked up beside her with a sign that said 'lol'

_The Noble Warriors Guide ending begins as Yuan Shao flies around a few times before Xal elbow drops him from above, crashing to the ground as he picks Shao up and swings him around before throwing him and crashing head first into the screen, shattering it upon impact__  
_  
_***** End of NWG 10 *****_

Disclaimer: Oooookay then! Chapter 10. Is. Done. I hope you enjoyed it, and I'd really like to hear about what you think on how the chapter is in story format as opposed to the original script.

Also, I hold no malice to either Yuri nor Yaoi and I would never insult either, nor show any biased opinions on either. I mean, if you want to watch two dudes go "corn poking" together, more power to you. Same for if you want to watch two beautiful works of womanly arts mesh their magnificent bodies up against each other, nothing wrong with either. :D

Save for the guy that drew Gan Ning naked. You still suck.


End file.
